Re: Teasing on School Bus

[Guest guest]

As a child I was the one that was teased on the bus. It is difficult to

retaliate if you are the one being teased, because pack mentality rules and you

are stuck until your stop. If you can, and want, I would pick her up from

school so you can diminish the amount of time she is picked on.

On the positive side, I grew up to be a somewhat normal person, and many of the

people that teased me didn't!! It is sad to see this happen, but no matter what

someone gets to be teased and someone is the bully. It is hard when it is your

little special person that wouldn't harm anyone.

Irene

ann wrote:

My daughter who is in 6th grade middle school, is being

teased every day on the school bus by a couple of girls. One girl in

particular, who was in her 5th grade class in elementary school and

used to make fun of her there has now taken to teasing and insulting

everyday on the bus. I have told to try not to

let them get her so upset and to just ignore them. Of course, when

she doesn't answer back she gets teased for not answering. I told

not to sit near them on the bus, but wherever she sits they

try to sit close to her. I told to go talk to her guidance

counselor at school and see if she had any advice. The guidance

counselor told her to ask the girl if she had ever been teased. If

she answered yes, tell her " good, then you know how it feels " and

ignore her. If she said no, tell her " one day someone will tease you

and you will know what it feels like " . This approach did not stop the

teasing. is not very good at coming up with a come back

for the insults they throw at her and that probably makes them tease

her all the more.

My heart breaks for my daughter. I have offered to pick her up from

school so she doesn't have to ride the bus, but for some reason she

keeps telling me she doesn't want me to do that. I don't know what

makes some kids act so mean that they can see another kid cry and

actually enjoy it.

Have any of your children had a similar experience and if so, how did

you handle it?

ann, One very angry, frustrated and heartbroken mom

Become a member of IMDSA today at http://www.imdsa.com

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[Guest guest]

Hi ann,

Tim was constantly teased throughout the his school years and, now in 12th

grade, is still teased, but perhaps not as much as before. The main reason the

teasing stopped was because Tim made his genetics presentation on MDS and then

the kids understood that he had MDS and that was why he was different from them.

Maybe you should get to know these girls parents and somehow talk with them

about the problem. Or, you could talk with the girls themselves and let them

know that has MDS and that is why she is different. Explain that she

was born with these differences and it is not something she can help. Or, maybe

you could have the guidance counseler talk with the girls. That may be an even

better idea. If it is just these two girls that are picking on her, maybe you

could get some of her friends to take up for her and then the girls might back

down.

I imagine that doesn't want you to pick her up because she is afraid

that that would cause more teasing.

I know you are frustrated! I feel the same hurt when Tim comes home and tells me

he was picked on. I think that all schools should adopt a zero tolerance on

bullying and that would put alot of it to a stop!

Kristy

ann wrote:

My daughter who is in 6th grade middle school, is being

teased every day on the school bus by a couple of girls. One girl in

particular, who was in her 5th grade class in elementary school and

used to make fun of her there has now taken to teasing and insulting

everyday on the bus. I have told to try not to

let them get her so upset and to just ignore them. Of course, when

she doesn't answer back she gets teased for not answering. I told

not to sit near them on the bus, but wherever she sits they

try to sit close to her. I told to go talk to her guidance

counselor at school and see if she had any advice. The guidance

counselor told her to ask the girl if she had ever been teased. If

she answered yes, tell her " good, then you know how it feels " and

ignore her. If she said no, tell her " one day someone will tease you

and you will know what it feels like " . This approach did not stop the

teasing. is not very good at coming up with a come back

for the insults they throw at her and that probably makes them tease

her all the more.

My heart breaks for my daughter. I have offered to pick her up from

school so she doesn't have to ride the bus, but for some reason she

keeps telling me she doesn't want me to do that. I don't know what

makes some kids act so mean that they can see another kid cry and

actually enjoy it.

Have any of your children had a similar experience and if so, how did

you handle it?

ann, One very angry, frustrated and heartbroken mom

Become a member of IMDSA today at http://www.imdsa.com

*************************************************

SAVE THE DATE! JUNE 24-26,2005 HOUSTON,TX. IMDSA CONVENTION

*************************************************

Contact IMDSA Today at:

IMDSA~PO Box 1052~lin,TX~77856~USA~1-

*************************************************

[Guest guest]

Hi ann,

we did have similar issues with Ariel. She got teased a lot and due in part

to the added autism she didn't quite get it at the time. She can be a tough

cookie when pushed so back in third grade we put her on the mini bus...To

stop any more problems. I don't know if any one remembers but I had an issue

back in kindergarten with 2nd graders sitting on her and pulling down her pants

and in second grade a student almost strangled her with a sweat shirt!!!!!

Ariel is very tight mouthed and never told me a thing, I heard it from other

parents...

You have to admire her for the determination to stay on the bus

though......She sounds like one tough cookie like Ariel....I still have her

picture and

she is I guess not even 2 with this blond blond hair!!!!

Mom to Ariel

PS We will be moving to nesconset within the next month or so....we arent in

Sachem school district but rather smithtown schools.....Im right off of Old

Nichols road...We will have to finally get the girls together!!!

[Guest guest]

I think we need to educate as many kids as we can about not going along with

bullying and not being silent about it. The schools should not allow it to

happen, unfortunately there are bathrooms and places at the school that can not

be always monitered. My childern know that teasing those with different

abilities is never an acceptable thing to do. My oldest son saw a kid cornered

in a side hallway being teased and " intervened " by jacking the nasty kid up and

letting him know in no uncertain terms if he messed with that kid again, he

would be messing with my son who at that time was over 6 ft and about 200 lbs of

muscle. Dan didn't know the boy who was getting teased, just wouldn't tolerate

it. I don't really condone violence, but at the same time I was proud of my son

as well. My daughter who at 16 and is a real beauty was asked out by a kid she

had seen teasing a slower kid at the grocery store where she worked. The teaser

asked my daughter out....she just laughed at him and

said no way would she go out with someone who treated others like that. My

point is, we ned to get more peers of the nasty kids not going along with it, I

think this would be most effective. I wish I could send my son to ride the bus

with your daughter a time or two ann.

Luanne mom to Mahrya

Kristy Colvin wrote:

Hi ann,

Tim was constantly teased throughout the his school years and, now in 12th

grade, is still teased, but perhaps not as much as before. The main reason the

teasing stopped was because Tim made his genetics presentation on MDS and then

the kids understood that he had MDS and that was why he was different from them.

Maybe you should get to know these girls parents and somehow talk with them

about the problem. Or, you could talk with the girls themselves and let them

know that has MDS and that is why she is different. Explain that she

was born with these differences and it is not something she can help. Or, maybe

you could have the guidance counseler talk with the girls. That may be an even

better idea. If it is just these two girls that are picking on her, maybe you

could get some of her friends to take up for her and then the girls might back

down.

I imagine that doesn't want you to pick her up because she is afraid

that that would cause more teasing.

I know you are frustrated! I feel the same hurt when Tim comes home and tells me

he was picked on. I think that all schools should adopt a zero tolerance on

bullying and that would put alot of it to a stop!

Kristy

ann wrote:

My daughter who is in 6th grade middle school, is being

teased every day on the school bus by a couple of girls. One girl in

particular, who was in her 5th grade class in elementary school and

used to make fun of her there has now taken to teasing and insulting

everyday on the bus. I have told to try not to

let them get her so upset and to just ignore them. Of course, when

she doesn't answer back she gets teased for not answering. I told

not to sit near them on the bus, but wherever she sits they

try to sit close to her. I told to go talk to her guidance

counselor at school and see if she had any advice. The guidance

counselor told her to ask the girl if she had ever been teased. If

she answered yes, tell her " good, then you know how it feels " and

ignore her. If she said no, tell her " one day someone will tease you

and you will know what it feels like " . This approach did not stop the

teasing. is not very good at coming up with a come back

for the insults they throw at her and that probably makes them tease

her all the more.

My heart breaks for my daughter. I have offered to pick her up from

school so she doesn't have to ride the bus, but for some reason she

keeps telling me she doesn't want me to do that. I don't know what

makes some kids act so mean that they can see another kid cry and

actually enjoy it.

Have any of your children had a similar experience and if so, how did

you handle it?

ann, One very angry, frustrated and heartbroken mom

Become a member of IMDSA today at http://www.imdsa.com

*************************************************

SAVE THE DATE! JUNE 24-26,2005 HOUSTON,TX. IMDSA CONVENTION

*************************************************

Contact IMDSA Today at:

IMDSA~PO Box 1052~lin,TX~77856~USA~1-

*************************************************

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the replies concerning being teased. I know she's not

the first kid to be teased and I'm sure she definitely won't be the last.

Maureen, she doesn't have any friends on the bus. The truth being she really

doesn't have any true friends. There is one girl she is friendly with in

school but she doesn't ride on the same bus. So far they have only verbally

teased her, nothing physical, except they challenged her to a game of " Mercy "

which

she ended up playing. That's where you hold hands with someone and squeeze as

hard as possible. I don't know if they allow headphones on the bus but I'll

mention it to her as a possibility. She's agreed to let me pick her up at

school but only once or twice a week, just to give her a break. Luckily she

only

has to ride one stop on the bus, but my guess is it could feel like a very

long ride for her.

Luanne, you are right that more kids need to learn to stick up for others

that they see being picked on. We need more kids around like your son and

daughter. It's all too easy for kids to see someone being teased or bullied and

to

either join in or just watch and snicker to themselves. It takes someone with

alot of confidence and good moral values to stick up for someone they aren't

even friends with. You should be proud of your kids. I too wish your son

could ride the bus with for a while!

, I think it's great that you are moving so close to my neck of the

woods. It would be wonderful to get the girls together. The one thing

wants more than anything is a friend.

Kristy I congratulate Tim on having the courage to get up in front of his

peers and give his presentation on MDS. I'm glad the kids are being more

accepting of him. I don't really want these girls to know about

having MDS

because I really feel like it will just give them something else to make fun

of her about.

I guess I've vented long enough about this. Sometimes I wish I would just

keep her in her own little world where there aren't so many challenges and

everyone would be a little kinder.

ann, 's mom

ann

[Guest guest]

ann,

My heart breaks for you. I was picked on incessantly in elementery school.

I tried ignoring it but it was hard. My mother wanted to help but I was afraid

it would make things worse. It didn't help that the girl who was the meanest

(she phyically as well as verbally hurt me) was the daughter of my father's best

friend! It took time but I finally found my own group of friends with whom I

felt safe. I was left alone as long as I was in a group. Does have a

couple of friends she could sit with on the bus? I definetly understand her

need to take the bus. She probably does not want these girls to know she went

and " told her mommy " . Does have any after school activities that

would require her to be picked up in order to reach her destination on time?

Even a day or two might help. Can she wear headphones on the bus? Then she

could literally tune them out! Have they touched her physically? In our school

system, causing physical harm is grounds for denial to ride the bus. My son

with MDS is 7 and we've been fortunate enough to have had only one isolated

unpleasant experience with a child we don't know and have never seen since.

Tyler, his " normal " brother, has had a few incidents of teasing but nothing that

seemed to last very long. , my son with MDS, is now taking karate. I did

it to help with his attention/focus, balance, coordination and stamina, but,

honestly, knowing he can defend himself if necessary is comforting. His

instructor told the class a story about this boy he called Steve. Steve was

born with enlarged hands and feet and suffered from a skin disorder.

Apparently, he was not pretty to look at and extremely uncoordinated. And he

was picked on all the time. Out of deperation, Steve's parent enrolled him in

karate. In middle school, another boy threw Steve down the stairs. A Guidance

Counselor saw what happened and was on his way to intervene when the boy threw a

punch at Steve. Steve used what he had learned in karate, blocked the punch and

the other boy landed flat on his back. Steve did not get in trouble because the

incident was witnessed by the Counselor and he was left alone after that. The

karate instructor went on to say that he expects the kids in his class to treat

everyone they meet with kindness and respect. Everyone. I know adulthood is a

long way off for your daughter, but I have to tell you something. It turns out

that one of the boys who was exceptionally mean to me is the brother of one of

my neighbors. The first time I saw him I thought I was going to throw up! But

you know what? That man has never been able to look me in the eye and I find

that now when I do see him, I stand a little taller and I look directly at him

and it does not bother me one bit that he's uncomfortable. I didn't do anything

wrong - I was just shy and he should feel ashamed. I will be thinking of

. And you. Our children's pain hurts more than our own.

Maureen, mother to Tyler, 11 and , 7 (MDS)

Teasing on School Bus

My daughter who is in 6th grade middle school, is being

teased every day on the school bus by a couple of girls. One girl in

particular, who was in her 5th grade class in elementary school and

used to make fun of her there has now taken to teasing and insulting

everyday on the bus. I have told to try not to

let them get her so upset and to just ignore them. Of course, when

she doesn't answer back she gets teased for not answering. I told

not to sit near them on the bus, but wherever she sits they

try to sit close to her. I told to go talk to her guidance

counselor at school and see if she had any advice. The guidance

counselor told her to ask the girl if she had ever been teased. If

she answered yes, tell her " good, then you know how it feels " and

ignore her. If she said no, tell her " one day someone will tease you

and you will know what it feels like " . This approach did not stop the

teasing. is not very good at coming up with a come back

for the insults they throw at her and that probably makes them tease

her all the more.

My heart breaks for my daughter. I have offered to pick her up from

school so she doesn't have to ride the bus, but for some reason she

keeps telling me she doesn't want me to do that. I don't know what

makes some kids act so mean that they can see another kid cry and

actually enjoy it.

Have any of your children had a similar experience and if so, how did

you handle it?

ann, One very angry, frustrated and heartbroken mom

Become a member of IMDSA today at http://www.imdsa.com

*************************************************

SAVE THE DATE! JUNE 24-26,2005 HOUSTON,TX. IMDSA CONVENTION

*************************************************

Contact IMDSA Today at:

IMDSA~PO Box 1052~lin,TX~77856~USA~1-

*************************************************

[Guest guest]

I think I would step in one way or another. Maybe it's my personality, but

I just can't tolerate it for a second, and will usually jump to the highest

level possible. In your case, I would go straight to the principle and

insist that she talk to these two girls. If they continued after that, I'd

insist for a meeting with the principle and the girls parents, and if that

didn't

stop it, I would be picking my child up from school, even if she didn't want

me to.

These hurtful things children say can haunt us forever...I'm sure every one

of us can think of something hurtful someone said to us when we were

children, and we can still feel the sting of it...

Good luck!!

~~ANGEL~~

Mom to:

, 12, Mosaic Down Syndrome/Hirschsprung's Disease

Lance 16, Tyler 12, 9,

Jaeda 8 and Shayne 2

[Guest guest]

Hi Marryann,

Perhaps your daughter could sit in one of the fromt seats of the bus with a

friend where the bus driver could be more aware of what is taking place.

You could even call the transportation department and clue them in as well

as having the guidance department talk with the girls who are being bullies.

Perhaps going at the situation from both directions would defuse it, and

still leave your daughter with her independence of riding the bus and

without torment. Just a thought. Terry

Re: Teasing on School Bus

>

> Hi ann,

> Tim was constantly teased throughout the his school years and, now in 12th

> grade, is still teased, but perhaps not as much as before. The main reason

> the teasing stopped was because Tim made his genetics presentation on MDS

> and then the kids understood that he had MDS and that was why he was

> different from them. Maybe you should get to know these girls parents and

> somehow talk with them about the problem. Or, you could talk with the

> girls themselves and let them know that has MDS and that is why

> she is different. Explain that she was born with these differences and it

> is not something she can help. Or, maybe you could have the guidance

> counseler talk with the girls. That may be an even better idea. If it is

> just these two girls that are picking on her, maybe you could get some of

> her friends to take up for her and then the girls might back down.

> I imagine that doesn't want you to pick her up because she is

> afraid that that would cause more teasing.

> I know you are frustrated! I feel the same hurt when Tim comes home and

> tells me he was picked on. I think that all schools should adopt a zero

> tolerance on bullying and that would put alot of it to a stop!

> Kristy

>

> ann wrote:

>

> My daughter who is in 6th grade middle school, is being

> teased every day on the school bus by a couple of girls. One girl in

> particular, who was in her 5th grade class in elementary school and

> used to make fun of her there has now taken to teasing and insulting

> everyday on the bus. I have told to try not to

> let them get her so upset and to just ignore them. Of course, when

> she doesn't answer back she gets teased for not answering. I told

> not to sit near them on the bus, but wherever she sits they

> try to sit close to her. I told to go talk to her guidance

> counselor at school and see if she had any advice. The guidance

> counselor told her to ask the girl if she had ever been teased. If

> she answered yes, tell her " good, then you know how it feels " and

> ignore her. If she said no, tell her " one day someone will tease you

> and you will know what it feels like " . This approach did not stop the

> teasing. is not very good at coming up with a come back

> for the insults they throw at her and that probably makes them tease

> her all the more.

>

> My heart breaks for my daughter. I have offered to pick her up from

> school so she doesn't have to ride the bus, but for some reason she

> keeps telling me she doesn't want me to do that. I don't know what

> makes some kids act so mean that they can see another kid cry and

> actually enjoy it.

>

> Have any of your children had a similar experience and if so, how did

> you handle it?

>

> ann, One very angry, frustrated and heartbroken mom

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> Become a member of IMDSA today at http://www.imdsa.com

> *************************************************

> SAVE THE DATE! JUNE 24-26,2005 HOUSTON,TX. IMDSA CONVENTION

> *************************************************

> Contact IMDSA Today at:

> IMDSA~PO Box 1052~lin,TX~77856~USA~1-

> *************************************************

>

[Guest guest]

Have you talked with the bus driver and asked if can have the seat

right behind the driver? My daughter rode the regular bus while in school and

she loved it. The kids were really good to her and took up for her, but she did

have an assigned seat right behind the driver. I think she sang to him all the

way home.

I homeschool Katy now. She loves it and doesn't miss the school part at all -

only riding the bus. She loved her bus driver. He was a very kind man.

Charlotte - Mom to Katy (13)

Re: Teasing on School Bus

Thanks for the replies concerning being teased. I know she's not

the first kid to be teased and I'm sure she definitely won't be the last.

Maureen, she doesn't have any friends on the bus. The truth being she really

doesn't have any true friends. There is one girl she is friendly with in

school but she doesn't ride on the same bus. So far they have only verbally

teased her, nothing physical, except they challenged her to a game of " Mercy "

which

she ended up playing. That's where you hold hands with someone and squeeze as

hard as possible. I don't know if they allow headphones on the bus but I'll

mention it to her as a possibility. She's agreed to let me pick her up at

school but only once or twice a week, just to give her a break. Luckily she

only

has to ride one stop on the bus, but my guess is it could feel like a very

long ride for her.

Luanne, you are right that more kids need to learn to stick up for others

that they see being picked on. We need more kids around like your son and

daughter. It's all too easy for kids to see someone being teased or bullied

and to

either join in or just watch and snicker to themselves. It takes someone with

alot of confidence and good moral values to stick up for someone they aren't

even friends with. You should be proud of your kids. I too wish your son

could ride the bus with for a while!

, I think it's great that you are moving so close to my neck of the

woods. It would be wonderful to get the girls together. The one thing

wants more than anything is a friend.

Kristy I congratulate Tim on having the courage to get up in front of his

peers and give his presentation on MDS. I'm glad the kids are being more

accepting of him. I don't really want these girls to know about

having MDS

because I really feel like it will just give them something else to make fun

of her about.

I guess I've vented long enough about this. Sometimes I wish I would just

keep her in her own little world where there aren't so many challenges and

everyone would be a little kinder.

ann, 's mom

ann