Guest guest Posted September 25, 2005 Report Share Posted September 25, 2005 Tami, as you know I am not married, but that is for me just another story, I live like a married woman. So this is my experienses: I feel free to love any man I want, to fall in love with any man I want, to feel sexual attraction to any man I want. It is none of Hans business. What I have noticed though is that it hurts ME to be dishonest with Hans. I tell him everything, and the fact is that he really doesn´t seem to be very interested. But I tell him if I have flirted, if i had a sexdream about another man, when I wrote to I wanted to kiss him on the mouth, for MY sake. The thing I wouldn´t do is to have a physical love affair, sex with another man, because of two reasons. I don´t feel the need for it. And I know Hans would feel very hurt, because he told me so, and I believe him. And in this case I don´t give a shit about stories, I simply don´t want him to feel that hurt. Never. No matter if this is my story of him getting hurt or if it´s his story of him getting hurt, it is out of the question. Now let´s say he felt hurt by me loving other men. Then we would have a problem. Because I can´t choose what feeling that will come up in me. I guess I would had done the work, so at least i would have felt peaceful about it. I couldn´t close my heart, as you say Tami. If he had said " please don´t flirt with other men " then there would have been no more flirting with other men. I can flirt with women and children and dogs and HANS of course:), if I have a need to flirt. Having an open heart for me means that you love everyone and everything. But it can also mean that it is open to listen to your love once requests and respect them, which in fact means that you listen to your own heart. Having an open heart doesn´t have to mean that you have sex with anyone. In fact I think open heart and sex has nothing to do with one another. Just some thoughts:), as our beloved friend use to say. Love, > Being married... > > I was thinking. > > One of the things that happens to me in the group is that my heart > opened. > > Before I was here I only loved Zigi! > > I thought Zigi is the only man for me! > > Now, I am IN love with more than one man. > That is a good thing, I love to love. > > But > If I was married to Zigi > I might have feel that I am cheating on Zigi, by loving other men. > > I didn't choose to love lovethework. whenever he opens his mouth > I feel waves of love from him, and of course, I love him back. > > I didn't choose to love , or Steve, > they are so lovable, how can I not love them? > > I didn't choose to love . > > And the list is long... > > Where is the line go? > If I was married, falling in love with another man, would it be > cheating? > And if I did fell in love, what is the right thing to do? > > I think I am going not to fall in love with Steve... > oh well, whatever. > > I am not married so I am " free " to fall in love with several man! > > I think that love is a good thing. > If I was married I wouldn't want to close my heart. > > Any ideas? > Lovethework, I have a feeling that you are going to step in. > WELCOME > > Love > Tami Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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