Guest guest Posted January 1, 2003 Report Share Posted January 1, 2003 My husband's impending military activation is forcing us to do something that we have been putting off--writing our wills. I am interested in knowing how others have handled the issue of guardianship of their children. We don't want our three boys to be separated (should both my husband and I die) but also realize how difficult it is to care for all three of them. What have others done? We are developing trusts for all three of them as well; it has been suggested that their guardian(s) not be the trustees. Any information or experience that you have with this? Thanks for any advice you can give. Happy New Year! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 1, 2003 Report Share Posted January 1, 2003 Everything you mentioned is important. We are in the process of doing the same for our boys. In fact, I have the forms from the Lawyer, just haven’t completed them. One of the forms pertains to medical care. Besides my Aspie, we have a little guy with some pretty significant health care issues requiring follow-up and intervention from all the therapies. One of the forms we will be completing is a medical care form for each boy specifying medications, Doctors, Therapies, diagnosis, follow-up, etc. This form will likely need to be updated once a year or so when things change. You might even want to put a copy of the childs IEP with the Will so the guardians know school treatments. The idea of having someone other than the guardians responsible for the money is very smart. Even though the guardian you select may be very trustworthy, it just adds an extra check and balance for the picture. This is also a way to ensure that both sides of the family maintain involvement in the childs life. My BIL & SIL will be our boys’ guardians in the event of our deaths. They are OT and PT so they will be a good fit here. We have discussed the situation with them both. It was a hard decision to make since they are Catholic and we are not. We really didn’t want the children raised outside our faith but the medical issues were a higher concern. They both love the boys. Their discipline tactics are similar to ours. When we weighed in all our options from all family and friends, they really were the best fit. My SIL did her Masters work with Autism Spectrum children. She actually suspected Trevor likely had ASD when he was a baby, another story here. She knows about sensory integration issues and how to help them. The bottom line is that we keep in mind what will be in the best interest of the children. The last thing that concerns me about my SIL & BIL as guardians is that they live 4 hours from us. The children would have to move to a new city with new Docs and therapists if something were to happen to us. I don’t like that but they really are the best choice. We are still discussing whom will be the financial guardian. We are considering my Sister. That would keep my family involved in the childrens’ lives and rearing. Another tough decision here. I think my other SIL and BIL might make better financial decisions so we will likely go that direction. It really depends how we set up the money in advance. I think I want someone else making investment decisions. Trust your gut, pray about it. Good luck. Bec guardianship My husband's impending military activation is forcing us to do something that we have been putting off--writing our wills. I am interested in knowing how others have handled the issue of guardianship of their children. We don't want our three boys to be separated (should both my husband and I die) but also realize how difficult it is to care for all three of them. What have others done? We are developing trusts for all three of them as well; it has been suggested that their guardian(s) not be the trustees. Any information or experience that you have with this? Thanks for any advice you can give. Happy New Year! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 2, 2003 Report Share Posted January 2, 2003 I recieved the same advice about separating out the guardianship from the trustee. I actually have co-guardians; my son has two older half sisters who are both adults, one who just happens to be an attorney. For now, my attorney, not the attorney sister, is the trustee, only because I can't figure out what next to do. My son's father, unfortunatley, is not capable of handling the business of physicians, IEPs, bills, etc. I am now looking into obtaining an autism advocate who can oversee everything, should something happen to me. My daughter and step-daughter would need some support and guidance nearly as much as my son would. One of my daughters has even begun going to IEP meetings with me. If anyone knows of any printed information which gives some advice on wills and what to do in the event that something happens to a parent/guardian of a disabled child, I'd appreciate it. Hope this helps! Good luck and God speed. Leah > My husband's impending military activation is > forcing us to do something that we have been > putting off--writing our > wills. I am interested in knowing how > others have handled the issue of > guardianship of their children. We don't > want our three boys to be > separated (should both my husband and I die) > but also realize how difficult it > is to care for all three of them. What > have others done? We are > developing trusts for all three of them as > well; it has been suggested that > their guardian(s) not be the trustees. > Any information or experience that > you have with this? Thanks for any advice > you can give. Happy New > Year! > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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