and depression

[Guest guest]

Hello again ,

I hear you.

I was reflecting last night on the gift that being 50-years old is to me. We

are so attached to this identity earlier in life. We are going to take the

bull by the horns, go out there and make our mark and be somebody. And for

most of us there is a mid-life crisis in our 40's where we become despondent

about our purpose, our effectiveness, our ability to fulfill on those

dreams, to be who we said we wanted to be, and when you're in that

despondency, it seems like the last place in the world you want to be.

Looking back on it now, that sadness was the most wonderful gift I could

have possibly received. It was the impetus to give up on winning love,

approval and appreciation from who I was pretending to be.

I'm reminded of a story about a tiger that was mistakenly raised as a goat.

He tried to be a good goat and fit in to this life he was given, but he was

despondent and depressed, but not over who he was. He was depressed over not

being who he thought he was.

Then one day another tiger came into the herd, looking for a meal and was

shocked by what he saw. Here was a tiger, eating grass and bleating in

terror upon seeing the intruding tiger. The old tiger grabbed the younger

one and dragged it to the water, and ignoring the protests of terror, got

the younger one to look at his own reflection, to see who he really was. The

young tiger was astonished, and stared, amazed at his reflection.

With each passing moment, his true nature sank in and the realization of the

illusion he had been living with became clearer. And then, when his doubts

and questions were settled, he let out a great roar. It was a roar of

awakening, as he realized his true nature and the released his " goat-self. "

So, my point is that becoming despondent over how unfulfilling our false

self is, is healthy. As long as we believe that the ego can win and get us

what we want in life, we tend to follow that hope. If you're interested in

the truth; if you're really serious about this Self-realization stuff then

giving up on that hope, even if it means entering a state of utter breakdown

and collapse, is progress.

Switching gears here: Can you see how, looking out that window, imagining

the lives those people are leading, you are going into the realm of stories

and concepts? Going into that realm takes us out of touch with reality,

which is always immediate, here, now, and always kinder than our story. So

when you notice yourself being sad over the life that you're missing, ask

yourself:

* Can I just be here?

* Can I just be with what is going on in this space?

* What do I hear?

* What do I see?

* How does my body feel?

* If this is as bad as it gets, can I be with this?

You may indeed find that this practice prevents you from missing your life.

If you think it would be helpful, you might print those questions out and

put them on the wall so that you are reminded to come back to reality when

you're lost in some story.

Here's another idea for you. Write down one or two paragraphs stating what

your problem is and then go ask a leaf or, a flower, a rock, a tree, etc. to

give you advice and feedback. Write down the answer that you get. I have

done this and received the most wonderful wisdom " from a leaf. "

I'd love to hear what you get.