walking

[Guest guest]

Judy previously wrote: " So many of us on this list can't walk the way you speak

of doing, can't sit or stand that long. We must encourage all to do whatever

they can do and never give up trying to go that extra mile. "

I know exactly what you mean, Judy. It is exactly that way for me. Sometimes I

can't sit, stand, walk, run, even lie down in my bed, for any length of time.

The pain is a constant terrible attention-grabbing monster that consumes all of

life taking away joy, interest, focus, relationships, and more. Family members

can't handle the changes that flare-ups cause me to go through. I try to

control my emotional reactions to the pain, but it takes all of my patience and

concentration just to handle the pain, leaving very little left over for them.

The truly confusing thing to them is the fact that both my reactive arthritis

(reiters syndrome) and my extreme fibromyalgia cycle through flare-ups and

remissions. My family often asks, " You were alright last week, what made the

difference? " As if, after 40+ years of dealing with the flare-ups without any

clear explanation of why they happen or even what causes them to go into

remission, I could answer their question. If medical science doesn't understand

what triggers a flare-up of these diseases, then how could anyone believe or

expect me to know the reason?

Living alone since Thanksgiving has resulted in some benefits! I no longer have

to keep a big house clean, cook for six other people, take care of all the

grocery shopping, babysit three grandchildren plus my youngest, be a taxi-cab

driver, or keep a yard trim and neat. Not having to do these things or deal

with the stress of living with my soon-to-be ex-wife has lowered my stress and

allowed me to cycle into a new period of remission-like peace. Oh, I still have

pain and discomfort. That's eternal. But I can truly use the peace and calm to

produce a better internal control over my body and keep the pain levels as low

as possible in that manner.

More later on family expectations and flare-ups.

Ray Neal, co-moderator