Guest guest Posted June 13, 2004 Report Share Posted June 13, 2004 Dear Whitman, GREAT! VERY nice piece of Work! Here are a few comments that you may or may not want to consider: RW: I am angry at Byron because She said, " Just keep showing up. " SD: THIS IS WHAT IS. If you argue with What Is, you lose but only 100% RW: This angers me. SD: Arguing with What Is means you lose and that is not acceptable to the mind, which needs to be right and leads to negative feelings. RW: She should have helped me more than that. SD: Again, THIS IS WHAT IS. Did she? If you argue with What Is, you lose but only 100% RW: She should have seen the pain that I was in and have been in for decades. She spent lots of time with others, helping them and I was left out in the cold. I hate her. This was just another replay of my going to my parents as a young child seeking appreciation, approval and love and the cupboards were always empty. I needed validation as a child and I need it now and I hate people who won't give it to me. SD: So, you know what and others should do or what she or others are feeling? I don't think so! This is an example of the mind going out to gather proof that it is right. That is the Mind's job, To be right! The mind takes stories from the past and project s them onto the Now, in order to prove that it is right. RW: People let me down. SD: Is that true? People do what they do and your thinking let's you down. Your thinking wants people to do something different than what they apparently did and that let's you down. Can you really know that people should act differently than they do? No. How do you feel when you belief the thought that " People can let me down. " ? You feel angry at them, and then you feel guilty for being angry at them and then you feel depressed. Can you see a reason to drop this thought " People can let me down. " ? Yes, it angers and depresses you. Can you find one peaceful reason to keep this thought " People can let me down. " ? Not one. Who would you be without the thought " People can let me down. " ? This is a big one. Sit with this one for a while and see what comes up. I have a feeling that who you would be without that belief is very frightening to you so you have chosen to believe the lie that " People can let me down. " ?, rather than realize who you would be without that belief. Could there be a story that you are not worthy of being Whitman without that belief? And, can you really know that that is true? We are talking about your basic identity here. If you were to understand that " People can let me down. " ? Is an out right lie, then who would you be?? If I believe that I can get Love, Approval or Appreciation from somewhere outside of me, I am confused. Others will say and do what they do and your mind will hear what it believes about what they say or do. This has nothing to do with reality. It is your made up story about how others should act. I hear what others say but I do not hear what others mean. RW said: 4. Who would I be without the thought " Others don't love me " ? I would be in my business possibly loving myself. I would be open to the love that does come from others, instead of getting angry at others. I would be freer to love myself and feel love from others. SD: This was beautiful, but please drop the " possibly " . Turnarounds: RW: should have helped me turns around to I should have helped me, or should not have helped me. She shouldn't have because in my mind she didn't. And that's what is. I should help me. I am trying!!!! SD: Great! RW: I hate becomes I hate myself. That's true. I hate becomes I don't hate or I love . That's true SD: I hate my thinking that makes me think I can hate others? RW: and parents should acknowledge that I am a beautiful kid becomes I should acknowledge that I am a beautiful kid. SD: and parents should NOT acknowledge that I am a beautiful kid. RW: I need others to love and cherish me becomes I need me to love and cherish me. SD: I don't need others to love and cherish me. RW: and my parents are selfish, oblivious, assholes becomes I am a selfish and oblivious asshole. Ouch! SD: True, but not always, only in that moment that I believe that and my parents are selfish, oblivious, assholes. RW: They don't realize how special I am becomes I don't know how special I am or I don't realize how special they are or they DO realize how special I am. SD: I DON'T WANT TO REALIZE HOW EQUAL WE ARE. RW: I don't ever want to experience or my parents ignoring me. becomes I look forward to and my parents ignoring me. SD: I am willing to experience or my parents ignoring me. You may as well, since it may happen again, if only in your thinking. SD: I look forward to experiencing or my parents ignoring me. Dittoe! SD: I don't ever want to experience me being in others business and my thinking ignoring me. Love, Steve D. " my definition of depression - emotional barriers > that > > > hide my true Self and keep me from fully living. " > > > > > > I have worked so hard to break through these emotional barriers > > > that you speak of, but I fear that the work keeps me in my head > and > > > that simply changing thoughts about depression will not change > > > these " emotional barriers. " > > > > > > I am in therapy now and am working to EXPRESS my emotions--to > feel > > > the hurt that I had as a child, to cry. This is really > difficult > > > for me--it is hard for an intellectual like me to access > feelings. > > > > > > Does the Pathway address this issue of feeling emotions?? > > > > > > Thanks!! > > > > > > Love > > > Whitman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 13, 2004 Report Share Posted June 13, 2004 Hello Steve; Thank you for your long, carefully thought-out reply to my work. I said in the work that I did that people let me down, but your reply shows that people care and don't let me down. Makes me almost tearful and I thank you. You say that that my statement " People let me down " is an outright lie. Haven't you ever experienced that someone has let you down? Why do you say it is a lie? This is a tough one for me to accept, but I am open to new ways of seeing reality!!! I am going to do some more work on this based on your long post to me, but I need time to digest your remarks. You have insight into character that I admire. Thanks Steve!! love, Whitman > > Okay Steve, I am taking your advice and doing the work on my > > depression. > > > > Judge Your Neighbor worksheet > > > > 1. I am angry at Byron because when I went to the School I > > went up to her and told her that I had been searching for the story > > behind by depression for twenty years and could not find it. She > > said, " Just keep showing up. " This angers me. She should have > > helped me more than that. She should have seen the pain that I was > > in and have been in for decades. She spent lots of time with > > others, helping them and I was left out in the cold. I hate her. > > This was just another replay of my going to my parents as a young > > child seeking appreciation, approval and love and the cupboards > were > > always empty. I needed validation as a child and I need it now and > > I hate people who won't give it to me. People let me down. > > > > > > 2. I wanted (and my parents) to change so that they give me > > what I want. I want full attention to my problems. I want my > needs > > met. I want love. I want, I want, I want!!! I want someone to > > make this awful depression go away!! > > > > 3. should have healed me of my depression. She should have > > given me her full devotion and love and make be better. My parents > > should have acknowledged what I beautiful kid I was and heaped love > > on me. > > > > 4. I need others to love me and cherish me and make me feel loved > > and accepted. I need others to heal me > > > > 5. and my parents are selfish, oblivious assholes. They > > don't realize how special I am. They don't see the real me--the > > wondrous person that I am. > > > > 6. I don't ever want to experience or my parents ignoring > > me. I don't want to experience ignoring my illness and not > > healing me. > > > > The Four Questions > > > > 1. Is it true that others ignore me and don't give me the > > appreciation that I want. It seems that way. could have > > given me more time and attention than just saying " Keep showing up " . > > > > 2. Can I absolutely know that its true. No, I can't know for > > sure. Maybe that was her way of loving me. And I do have friends > > who listen to me and do what they can to help me. > > > > 3. How do I react when I think the thought that others don't love > > me or appreciate me? I get really depressed and feel really alone > > and separate. I feel empty. I feel lonely. > > > > 4. Who would I be without the thought " Others don't love me " ? > > I would be in my business possibly loving myself. I would be open > to > > the love that does come from others, instead of getting angry at > > others. I would be freer to love myself and feel love from others. > > > > Turnarounds: > > > > should have helped me turns around to I should have helped > me, > > or should not have helped me. She shouldn't have because in > > my mind she didn't. And that's what is. I should help me. I am > > trying!!!! > > > > I hate becomes I hate myself. That's true. > > I hate becomes I don't hate or I love . That's > true > > > > and parents should acknowledg that I am a beautiful kid > > becomes I should acknowledge that I am a beautiful kid. > > > > I need others to love and cherish me becomes I need me to love and > > cherish me. > > > > and my parents are selfish, oblivious, assholes becomes I am > a > > selfish and oblivious asshole. Ouch! > > > > They don't realize how special I am becomes I don't know how > special > > I am or I don't realize how special they are or they DO realize how > > special I am. > > > > I don't ever want to experience ro my parents ignoring me > > becomes I look forward to and my parents ignoring me. > > > > Thanks!! > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 13, 2004 Report Share Posted June 13, 2004 " whitman1010 " wrote: > Hello Steve; > > You say that that my statement " People let me down " is an outright > lie. Haven't you ever experienced that someone has let you down? > Why do you say it is a lie? > > This is a tough one for me to accept, but I am open to new ways of > seeing reality!!! > > I am going to do some more work on this based on your long post to > me, but I need time to digest your remarks. You have insight into > character that I admire. Thanks Steve!! Dear Randy, Steve does facilitate the work wonderfully. For me, it is important that a facilitator keep asking questions and allow you to come up with YOUR truth. This journey is about you. When you don't understand Steve's truth, " people let me down " is a lie - you're not meant to - it's not your truth - until you ask yourself and it is - or not. This is a journey about how wonderful Randy is. In your last paragraph, you make a statement - (Steve) You have insight into character that I admire. When I find myself saying things like this - I ask myself if I am making someone " better " than myself - more special than I...it's just another way I abandon myself and attempt to live someone else's truth - again. I invite you to stay with you Randy. It's not the Randy and Steve show or the Jan and Randy show...just Randy...wonderful, insightful, willing to get to know yourself Randy. This was a road block for me for years. I saw it reflected in your and Steve's work. So I get to tell myself to stay true to me through your work. Thank you Steve and Randy - Blessings - Jan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 13, 2004 Report Share Posted June 13, 2004 Dear Whitman, Yes, I am long winded and Yes, I have experienced that people have let me down. However, when I experienced it, I was confused. I was believing my story that people should act a certain way. When, in fact, they act they way they do, not the way I want. When I experienced being " let down " by someone, I was under the false assumption that others would behave according to my story. It ain't happening!! People do what they do and act the way they do and then I tell myself a story how they should have acted differently and then my feeling " let down " is my reaction to my own story (which is not true, therefore an outright lie) that they should act differently. This is why says " You can't hurt me, that is my job. " This is a very difficult truth to own. Do not expect to own it all at once. For me, what is important is that if I allow myself to feel " let down " ; then I eventually realize that it was my story and not the other person that let me down. Then, little by little I stop believing the story all together. I begin to understand how arrogant and controlling my thinking is to assume that others should act the way I think that they should. Love, Steve D. , > > > Okay Steve, I am taking your advice and doing the work on my > > > depression. > > > > > > Judge Your Neighbor worksheet > > > > > > 1. I am angry at Byron because when I went to the School > I > > > went up to her and told her that I had been searching for the > story > > > behind by depression for twenty years and could not find it. > She > > > said, " Just keep showing up. " This angers me. She should have > > > helped me more than that. She should have seen the pain that I > was > > > in and have been in for decades. She spent lots of time with > > > others, helping them and I was left out in the cold. I hate > her. > > > This was just another replay of my going to my parents as a > young > > > child seeking appreciation, approval and love and the cupboards > > were > > > always empty. I needed validation as a child and I need it now > and > > > I hate people who won't give it to me. People let me down. > > > > > > > > > 2. I wanted (and my parents) to change so that they give > me > > > what I want. I want full attention to my problems. I want my > > needs > > > met. I want love. I want, I want, I want!!! I want someone to > > > make this awful depression go away!! > > > > > > 3. should have healed me of my depression. She should > have > > > given me her full devotion and love and make be better. My > parents > > > should have acknowledged what I beautiful kid I was and heaped > love > > > on me. > > > > > > 4. I need others to love me and cherish me and make me feel > loved > > > and accepted. I need others to heal me > > > > > > 5. and my parents are selfish, oblivious assholes. They > > > don't realize how special I am. They don't see the real me-- the > > > wondrous person that I am. > > > > > > 6. I don't ever want to experience or my parents ignoring > > > me. I don't want to experience ignoring my illness and > not > > > healing me. > > > > > > The Four Questions > > > > > > 1. Is it true that others ignore me and don't give me the > > > appreciation that I want. It seems that way. could have > > > given me more time and attention than just saying " Keep showing > up " . > > > > > > 2. Can I absolutely know that its true. No, I can't know for > > > sure. Maybe that was her way of loving me. And I do have > friends > > > who listen to me and do what they can to help me. > > > > > > 3. How do I react when I think the thought that others don't > love > > > me or appreciate me? I get really depressed and feel really > alone > > > and separate. I feel empty. I feel lonely. > > > > > > 4. Who would I be without the thought " Others don't love me " ? > > > I would be in my business possibly loving myself. I would be > open > > to > > > the love that does come from others, instead of getting angry at > > > others. I would be freer to love myself and feel love from > others. > > > > > > Turnarounds: > > > > > > should have helped me turns around to I should have helped > > me, > > > or should not have helped me. She shouldn't have because > in > > > my mind she didn't. And that's what is. I should help me. I > am > > > trying!!!! > > > > > > I hate becomes I hate myself. That's true. > > > I hate becomes I don't hate or I love . That's > > true > > > > > > and parents should acknowledg that I am a beautiful kid > > > becomes I should acknowledge that I am a beautiful kid. > > > > > > I need others to love and cherish me becomes I need me to love > and > > > cherish me. > > > > > > and my parents are selfish, oblivious, assholes becomes I > am > > a > > > selfish and oblivious asshole. Ouch! > > > > > > They don't realize how special I am becomes I don't know how > > special > > > I am or I don't realize how special they are or they DO realize > how > > > special I am. > > > > > > I don't ever want to experience ro my parents ignoring me > > > becomes I look forward to and my parents ignoring me. > > > > > > Thanks!! > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 14, 2004 Report Share Posted June 14, 2004 Dear Whitman, Am 14.06.2004 um 02:35 schrieb whitman1010: > Hello Steve; > > Thank you for your long, carefully thought-out reply to my work. I > said in the work that I did that people let me down, but your reply > shows that people care and don't let me down. Makes me almost > tearful and I thank you. > > You say that that my statement " People let me down " is an outright > lie. Haven't you ever experienced that someone has let you down? > Why do you say it is a lie? > > This is a tough one for me to accept, The only thing tougher for me, seems not to accept. Or how long have *you* been trying without success? And I don't know about you, but it seems to help investigating in the most painful situation where someone let me down. And, eventually, one comes to see that one was not even let down. > but I am open to new ways of seeing reality!!! Interesting thought. I don't know if I can help seeing how I do. > I am going to do some more work on this based on your long post to > me, but I need time to digest your remarks. You have insight into > character that I admire. Thanks Steve!! > > love, Whitman Thank you for being there, > > > > > Okay Steve, I am taking your advice and doing the work on my > > > depression. > > > > > > Judge Your Neighbor worksheet > > > > > > 1. I am angry at Byron because when I went to the School > I > > > went up to her and told her that I had been searching for the > story > > > behind by depression for twenty years and could not find it. > She > > > said, " Just keep showing up. "  This angers me. She should have > > > helped me more than that. She should have seen the pain that I > was > > > in and have been in for decades. She spent lots of time with > > > others, helping them and I was left out in the cold. I hate > her. > > > This was just another replay of my going to my parents as a > young > > > child seeking appreciation, approval and love and the cupboards > > were > > > always empty. I needed validation as a child and I need it now > and > > > I hate people who won't give it to me. People let me down. > > > > > > > > > 2. I wanted (and my parents) to change so that they give > me > > > what I want. I want full attention to my problems. I want my > > needs > > > met. I want love. I want, I want, I want!!! I want someone to > > > make this awful depression go away!! > > > > > > 3. should have healed me of my depression. She should > have > > > given me her full devotion and love and make be better. My > parents > > > should have acknowledged what I beautiful kid I was and heaped > love > > > on me. > > > > > > 4. I need others to love me and cherish me and make me feel > loved > > > and accepted. I need others to heal me > > > > > > 5. and my parents are selfish, oblivious assholes. They > > > don't realize how special I am. They don't see the real me--the > > > wondrous person that I am. > > > > > > 6. I don't ever want to experience or my parents ignoring > > > me. I don't want to experience ignoring my illness and > not > > > healing me. > > > > > > The Four Questions > > > > > > 1. Is it true that others ignore me and don't give me the > > > appreciation that I want. It seems that way. could have > > > given me more time and attention than just saying " Keep showing > up " . > > > > > > 2. Can I absolutely know that its true. No, I can't know for > > > sure. Maybe that was her way of loving me. And I do have > friends > > > who listen to me and do what they can to help me. > > > > > > 3. How do I react when I think the thought that others don't > love > > > me or appreciate me? I get really depressed and feel really > alone > > > and separate. I feel empty. I feel lonely. > > > > > > 4. Who would I be without the thought " Others don't love me " ? > > > I would be in my business possibly loving myself. I would be > open > > to > > > the love that does come from others, instead of getting angry at > > > others. I would be freer to love myself and feel love from > others. > > > > > > Turnarounds: > > > > > > should have helped me turns around to I should have helped > > me, > > > or should not have helped me. She shouldn't have because > in > > > my mind she didn't. And that's what is. I should help me. I > am > > > trying!!!! > > > > > > I hate becomes I hate myself. That's true. > > > I hate becomes I don't hate or I love . That's > > true > > > > > > and parents should acknowledg that I am a beautiful kid > > > becomes I should acknowledge that I am a beautiful kid. > > > > > > I need others to love and cherish me becomes I need me to love > and > > > cherish me. > > > > > > and my parents are selfish, oblivious, assholes becomes I > am > > a > > > selfish and oblivious asshole. Ouch! > > > > > > They don't realize how special I am becomes I don't know how > > special > > > I am or I don't realize how special they are or they DO realize > how > > > special I am. > > > > > > I don't ever want to experience ro my parents ignoring me > > > becomes I look forward to and my parents ignoring me. > > > > > > Thanks!! > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 14, 2004 Report Share Posted June 14, 2004 Dear Steve, Am 14.06.2004 um 03:09 schrieb SteveDaily: > Dear Whitman, > > Yes, I am long winded and Yes, I have experienced that people have > let me down. However, when I experienced it, I was confused. I was > believing my story that people should act a certain way. When, in > fact, they act they way they do, not the way I want. When I > experienced being " let down " by someone, I was under the false > assumption that others would behave according to my story. It ain't > happening!! People do what they do and act the way they do and then > I tell myself a story how they should have acted differently and then > my feeling " let down " is my reaction to my own story (which is not > true, therefore an outright lie) that they should act differently. > > This is why says " You can't hurt me, that is my job. " > > This is a very difficult truth to own. What about the truth that " Time is an illusion " ? Where does that leave things like, " need time to digest " or " difficult " (in the sense of, " it takes long time/many tries to do " ) > Do not expect to own it all > at once. For me, what is important is that if I allow myself to > feel " let down " ; then I eventually realize that it was my story and > not the other person that let me down. Then, little by little I stop > believing the story all together. I begin to understand how arrogant > and controlling my thinking is to assume that others should act the > way I think that they should. I need to see their arrogance, to find mine. And by seeing that they are just like me, and *I* already didn't realize that I was, I see their innocence. And that is what I need to see to find mine. ? What confusion. Love, > Love, Steve D. > > , > > > > Okay Steve, I am taking your advice and doing the work on my > > > > depression. > > > > > > > > Judge Your Neighbor worksheet > > > > > > > > 1. I am angry at Byron because when I went to the School > > I > > > > went up to her and told her that I had been searching for the > > story > > > > behind by depression for twenty years and could not find it. > > She > > > > said, " Just keep showing up. "  This angers me. She should have > > > > helped me more than that. She should have seen the pain that I > > was > > > > in and have been in for decades. She spent lots of time with > > > > others, helping them and I was left out in the cold. I hate > > her. > > > > This was just another replay of my going to my parents as a > > young > > > > child seeking appreciation, approval and love and the cupboards > > > were > > > > always empty. I needed validation as a child and I need it now > > and > > > > I hate people who won't give it to me. People let me down. > > > > > > > > > > > > 2. I wanted (and my parents) to change so that they give > > me > > > > what I want. I want full attention to my problems. I want my > > > needs > > > > met. I want love. I want, I want, I want!!! I want someone > to > > > > make this awful depression go away!! > > > > > > > > 3. should have healed me of my depression. She should > > have > > > > given me her full devotion and love and make be better. My > > parents > > > > should have acknowledged what I beautiful kid I was and heaped > > love > > > > on me. > > > > > > > > 4. I need others to love me and cherish me and make me feel > > loved > > > > and accepted. I need others to heal me > > > > > > > > 5. and my parents are selfish, oblivious assholes. They > > > > don't realize how special I am. They don't see the real me-- > the > > > > wondrous person that I am. > > > > > > > > 6. I don't ever want to experience or my parents > ignoring > > > > me. I don't want to experience ignoring my illness and > > not > > > > healing me. > > > > > > > > The Four Questions > > > > > > > > 1. Is it true that others ignore me and don't give me the > > > > appreciation that I want. It seems that way. could have > > > > given me more time and attention than just saying " Keep showing > > up " . > > > > > > > > 2. Can I absolutely know that its true. No, I can't know for > > > > sure. Maybe that was her way of loving me. And I do have > > friends > > > > who listen to me and do what they can to help me. > > > > > > > > 3. How do I react when I think the thought that others don't > > love > > > > me or appreciate me? I get really depressed and feel really > > alone > > > > and separate. I feel empty. I feel lonely. > > > > > > > > 4. Who would I be without the thought " Others don't love me " ? > > > > I would be in my business possibly loving myself. I would be > > open > > > to > > > > the love that does come from others, instead of getting angry > at > > > > others. I would be freer to love myself and feel love from > > others. > > > > > > > > Turnarounds: > > > > > > > > should have helped me turns around to I should have > helped > > > me, > > > > or should not have helped me. She shouldn't have because > > in > > > > my mind she didn't. And that's what is. I should help me. I > > am > > > > trying!!!! > > > > > > > > I hate becomes I hate myself. That's true. > > > > I hate becomes I don't hate or I love . > That's > > > true > > > > > > > > and parents should acknowledg that I am a beautiful kid > > > > becomes I should acknowledge that I am a beautiful kid. > > > > > > > > I need others to love and cherish me becomes I need me to love > > and > > > > cherish me. > > > > > > > > and my parents are selfish, oblivious, assholes becomes I > > am > > > a > > > > selfish and oblivious asshole. Ouch! > > > > > > > > They don't realize how special I am becomes I don't know how > > > special > > > > I am or I don't realize how special they are or they DO realize > > how > > > > special I am. > > > > > > > > I don't ever want to experience ro my parents ignoring me > > > > becomes I look forward to and my parents ignoring me. > > > > > > > > Thanks!! > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 14, 2004 Report Share Posted June 14, 2004 Steve, you are great! This was my work too and it was just great to be guided of you. Thank you! Love, " my definition of depression - emotional barriers > > that > > > > hide my true Self and keep me from fully living. " > > > > > > > > I have worked so hard to break through these emotional > barriers > > > > that you speak of, but I fear that the work keeps me in my head > > and > > > > that simply changing thoughts about depression will not change > > > > these " emotional barriers. " > > > > > > > > I am in therapy now and am working to EXPRESS my emotions-- to > > feel > > > > the hurt that I had as a child, to cry. This is really > > difficult > > > > for me--it is hard for an intellectual like me to access > > feelings. > > > > > > > > Does the Pathway address this issue of feeling emotions?? > > > > > > > > Thanks!! > > > > > > > > Love > > > > Whitman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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