Re: Critical judgements, please-Eddie - Tim

[Guest guest]

> The metaphor or model NLP borrows can be very useful:- how our ego

> filters and adjusts incoming information according to what our ego

> wants to perceive.This is quite unconscious, an automatic reflex.

> It's interesting to see this happening; when folks have strong ego-

> identifications, and each rewrite their perceptions, then

> communication becomes very muddled. Clear perception is rare, and

> invaluable. Living with my own ego is like treading on eggshells,

> with a fussy maiden aunt! And me, such a slattern! cheers, Tim

Oh Tim, have a slice of delicious humble pie! You are so very clear

where you want to be clear - is it not so? So very muddled where

muddled feels like it's a good thing? Yes?

Listening to Living A Course in Miracles, Ken Wapnick talks about

taking responsibility for ALL of it. The open joke is WE ARE THE

CREATORS.

I loved it when talked in Sarasota and went in to see her mother

lying dead. She lifted up the eyelid and peered into her mother's

unseeing eye. Yep! all projection!

It's just so hard to not feel so guilty for projecting the hideosity

of it all *out there*.

Each time I made my mother into a bigger perp, I conversely became a

bigger victim. This turnaround stuff works at so many different

levels. How did I arrive here from reading your post????? But thanks

for the journey - I really needed to hear that turnaround!

Blessings - Jan

[Guest guest]

Dear Jan,

> Each time I make my boyfriend into a bigger perp, I conversely become a

> bigger perp.

> joni

[Guest guest]

>

> Dear Jan,

> > Each time I make my boyfriend into a bigger perp, I conversely

become a

> > bigger perp.

> > joni

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Jan,

Yes, your turn around: " Each time I make my boyfriend a bigger victim, I

conversely

become a bigger perp. " Fits for me too.

Next topic: You wrote:

> I am happy at X for choosing to ultimately move on and not face his

> relationship fears.

wrote:

> And there is another one:

> I am angry at myself for ? *not* moving on?

Jan wrote:

Last one is huge - I am angry at myself for spending so many years

adapting to his universe and being untrue to mine.   I wished I had

listened to myself and left on the third date...

Jan huge for me too,

At this past weekend intensive at Omega, we had an exercise on the

topic: " I did it wrong " . I chose my marriage which lasted 20 +- years and as you

said: I should have left on the third date!

So as I'm doing the work on the topic: (I did marriage all wrong; we

yelled, we screamed, we abused each other in every way for 20 -+ years, what an

asshole I was blah, blah, bla...} As I sat with the work, I had a vision of us,

being so young, so sexual, so intimate, so partying, so full of many friends,

so enthusiastic, so alive, so house building together, so risk taking, so baby

birthing, so child loving, and the tears of bitterness turned to tears of

sadness which turned to tears of gratitude, that that was my life when I was

young, and I am so grateful to have experienced all that. So of course I didn't

do it wrong, there truly are no mistakes.

I love your work Jan, I read your posts and take them in as my work,

Joni

[Guest guest]

joni wrote:

> Hi Jan,

> Yes, your turn around: " Each time I make my boyfriend a bigger

victim, I

> conversely

> become a bigger perp. " Fits for me too.

>

> At this past weekend intensive at Omega, we had an exercise on

the topic: " I did it wrong " .

and the tears of bitterness turned to tears of

> sadness which turned to tears of gratitude, that that was my life

when I was

> young, and I am so grateful to have experienced all that. So of

course I didn't

> do it wrong, there truly are no mistakes.

> I love your work Jan, I read your posts and take them in as my work,

> Joni

I didn't do it " wrong " either - easier to say I did it while I was

asleep. I'm waking up and becoming alive and I get to do it this way

- feels so much better.

It is so nice to share similar roads. Thanks for responding -

Blessings - Jan