Re: Post-traumatic stress syndrome

[Guest guest]

Auntumn

Thanks for sharing your story. That had to be difficult for you to

share. God Bless

--- Autti@... wrote:

> From: Autti@...

>

> Dear ('s mom)

>

> I think we all have felt this way from time to time.

> I almost lost on

> August 3, 1994. I remember that date, and always

> will as it is my dads

> birthday. had been having a very bad time with

> asthma. I took him in

> to see who was our asthma specialist at that time.

> He gave him a dose of

> prelone in the office and sent me home with

> instructions to call if he got

> worse. I remember it was very hot that day and

> while I was driving home I

> looked in the rearview mirror and 's lips were

> slightly blue. I called

> the doctor as soon as I walked in the door. By this

> time you could hear a

> very audible high pitched wheeze. When the

> physician heard from the

> other end of the phone he instructed me to get to

> the hospital ASAP assuming

> we had enough time. I drove there, in rush hour,

> in a panic mode...still

> not realizing how bad was ( I was very naive to

> asthma at that time, and

> had no idea he could die from it). When we walked

> into the ER the triage

> nurse looked at and quickly took him from me

> and asked if it was asthma

> or was he choking. I told her he had asthma. She

> ran him down to a

> room....it was as if I were not there at all. A

> team of nurses came in with

> a resident. By this time was white as a

> ghost....blue lips, blue

> fingernails...the resident yelled for someone to get

> " Dr. so and so " ...I kept

> asking what is wrong...he was not wheezing anymore,

> so I said out loud " oh

> thank God it stopped " ...thinking that the attack was

> over. The head nurse

> asked another nurse to escort me out of the room. I

> asked why, assuming he

> would return to his normal color as I no longer

> heard him wheezing. At first

> I agreed and left the room. But when I saw the

> crash cart being whisked into

> the room I demanded and forced my way back in...the

> sight that I saw is one

> that I will NEVER get out of my mind. My little

> lie there and his

> entire body was dark gray.....his eyes were as wide

> as they come. They

> physically had to remove me from the room and I

> heard one of the docs say

> someone page " social work " .....they took me to the

> nurses station and a nurse

> and the social worker explained that was

> critical. I remember sitting on

> his bed in the ICU, numb, with a blank stare

> watching his heart rate, etc.

> The social worker came in and asked me if I wanted

> to call my husband. I

> looked at her and asked her to call as I did not

> want leave 's side for

> fear that he could get worse. Several hours later

> when was placed in a

> special room, a doctor came in. I was sobbing

> sitting there holding my

> little boys tiny little hand watching him continue

> to struggle to breath.

> The doctor asked me if anyone explained to me what

> exactly had happened to

> ...I told him no. He sat down and told me how

> close we were to losing

> him and that he was no where near being out of the

> woods. The next day my

> pediatrician came in and said that had a very

> close call with death and

> that the next three to four days would be crucial.

> My heart sank. From

> them on I began to learn as much as I could about

> asthma.

>

> When we came home I kept having these moments of

> seeing him lie there all

> gray and not breathing....causing me to have extreme

> anxiety over that scene.

> Over time I have managed to deal with that life

> changing day. I was mad at

> my husband for not being there (he stayed home to

> take care of Mark), even

> though it was not his fault. I could not sleep

> anytime would wheeze or

> cough. I would lie next to his crib on the floor

> just to make sure he was

> O.K. It took some counseling and a lot of learning

> about asthma to help me

> get through that time. We switched asthma

> specialists after that at the

> request of our pediatrician. She felt that my boys

> needed to be at a better

> place then where our other specialist was from. We

> agreed. I once got the

> courage to tell the new doctor about what I went

> through and he told me that

> it was like Post-traumatic stress syndrome. He told

> me that even some

> doctors get it, usually who work in the ER, NICU,

> PICU, ICU...ones that see

> the face of death daily. He told me that he had

> seen 's ER report and

> that what I witnessed was very traumatic and to not

> beat myself up over it or

> look at myself as a failure for not " knowing " the

> ins and outs of 's

> disease...he told me that our other doctor should

> have explained to me how

> serious asthma was. These days, I am able to manage

> many of 's serious

> attacks at home....my comfort level is almost too

> high. I have such a good

> plan set up with 's allergist/asthma specialist

> that does not

> require as many ER visits. Even then, the ER gets

> overwhelmed when they hear

> 's medical history and end up calling his

> physician for the instructions

> as they usually do no want to listen to me tell them

> what needs....funny

> thing is, that when they finish talking to 's

> doctor they come back and

> say " your were right, we just have never seen such a

> complex case before. " I

> smile, really wanting to say " I told you so. "

>

> I have never shared this story with anyone other

> then my husband and 's

> asthma physician. I can now write it without the

> panic. Please know that

> you are not alone. I thank GOD everyday that I am

> able to communicate with

> others who share many of the same feelings etc.

> Take care and do something

> fun! )

>

> Autumn mom to Mark Cd5-Cd19 PID/ A1A, Samter's,

> GERD

>

> ---------------------------