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Re: Family 'support' :(

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I am so sorry your daughter doesn't understand . My daughter also questions my

illness, but sinse she took me to Mayo Clinic and now she believes it. But she

still doesn't understand why I can't keep her 3 kids but they are 4,3, and 7 mo.

I just can't do it. My husband is wonderful and he takes care of the situation

and helps me all the time. He does everything including cleaning and cooking.

Again I hope your daughter realises you are doing all you can.

debbie

________________________________

It's so sad when your ill and really need a sympathetic ear and your own

daughter (whom you've given all the best ) doesn't support or just even

LISTEN. It hurts. She just shuts down and hides out in her BR. Needed to

vent.

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So sad, sounds like she needs to grow up. You can always vent here, though,

okay?

Jeanette

It's so sad when your ill and really need a sympathetic ear and your own

daughter (whom you've given all the best ) doesn't support or just even

LISTEN. It hurts. She just shuts down and hides out in her BR. Needed to

vent. L

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Sometimes families are the last to understand. They just may need you not to be

in pain. I believe our support groups are much more understanding because we are

living it!

________________________________

>

>

> It's so sad when you are ill and really need a sympathetic ear

> and your own daughter doesn't support or just even LISTEN. It hurts.

> L

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Like Jeanette says.......Venting is one of the things we are here for.

Unfortunately, our kids don't always " get it " . I don't know your daughters'

age, but all 3 of my kids have gone thru different stages with my diseases

(CFS/FM mainly) and how they interact with me. Mine are 23, 20 and 19 now, much

more understanding and even helpful to me, but it wasn't always that way and

it's been a long, painful journey.

PLEASE feel free to come here and vent ANYTIME - we've been there or are there

ourselves now

STL Jane

>

> It's so sad when your ill and really need a sympathetic ear and your own

>

> daughter (whom you've given all the best ) doesn't support or just even

>

> LISTEN. It hurts. She just shuts down and hides out in her BR. Needed to

>

> vent. L

>

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It saddens  me  that  my  family  who lives in the NYC area  would  go  to  the

Outerbanks

North  Carolina  instead of spending this past week in  New England  where I am

at.

the kids are on winter break  and  there is a winterfestival going on.  temp

difference

at the most  5 degrees.

Like Jeanette says.......Venting is one of the things we are here for.

Unfortunately, our kids don't always " get it " . I don't know your daughters' age,

but all 3 of my kids have gone thru different stages with my diseases (CFS/FM

mainly) and how they interact with me. Mine are 23, 20 and 19 now, much more

understanding and even helpful to me, but it wasn't always that way and it's

been a long, painful journey.

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Sometimes I feel like all I say is, I understand how you feel but I think

I do. My family has long been gone from my life, it was the worst pain

anyone should have to endure. Some of the reasons I understood and others, some

I don't. I did a lot of soul searching and tried to make amends but to no

avail. I felt like someone was squeezing my heart but for many years I held

out hope .Every holiday was just horrible but being a Christian the lord

didn't let me wallow in self pity. I can't say how it all started but God

gave me a job, not a real jod but something he wanted me to do and the

horrible holidays changed.

I also learned that all my grief and anger were a waste of time. Jesus

said “Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and

I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me. For I am

gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my

yoke is easy and my burden is light.†11:28-30.

So I turned everything over to God, I would sometimes take it back but I

no longer wanted to feel the grief, guilt and the awful pain so I gave it

bach.

Being left out by family or friends and isolation has no words to describe

the grief and pain..

God bless you and give you peace,

Cee

In a message dated 2/21/2010 8:48:34 A.M. Pacific Standard Time,

debbieg1711@... writes:

It saddens me that my family who lives in the NYC area would go

to the Outerbanks

North Carolina instead of spending this past week in New England where

I am at.

the kids are on winter break and there is a winterfestival going on.

temp difference

at the most 5 degrees.

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I may be odd, and I may feel differently at some point, but right now I find

that I really don't want my family or my friends to understand exactly how I

feel. It must be a terrible burden to know how much pain and suffering

someone is in all the time, and not be able to do anything about it. I just

don't want to put that burden on them. I don't want them to look at me and

see first and foremost someone who is hopelessly sick and suffering.

I feel like chronic sickness builds a wall between us and normals. When we

became ill, our lives shifted into a different existence than most people.

We suffer things that they do not, we learn things that they do not.

There are doors in the walls between us, where we can find ways to relate

to our friends and family based on common interests or love or shared

experiences, but I don't think that they can understand our pain - not

really. I can't even understand my pain, half the time!

Support groups are wonderful because everyone is in the same boat. We can

vent without burdening one another, because we all share the same burden

already. I hate that so many of us are suffering, but am so glad that there

are now ways that we can connect and share with one another, instead of

feeling so isolated behind our walls. What a blessing!!!

April

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You are a sweetheart thank you, you brought tears to my eyes.

Families argue and get so mad but should never stay mad, being angry is a

waste of time.

Thank you for you invite on face book and I will look for you.

Cee

In a message dated 2/25/2010 8:18:12 A.M. Pacific Standard Time,

debbieg1711@... writes:

I am so sorry about your estrangement from your family. I have a very

large family 9 brothers and sisters and my mom plus all the inlaws. There have

been many times I thought I would not speak to this one or that one. but it

never lasted. They have been very supportive of me. I know family can be a

difficult thing to keep going. But you are blessed God gave you what you

needed.

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