Debi

[Guest guest]

My daughter,2, does the exact same thing! When she is having a meltdown NOONE can look at her and heaven forbit you chuckle or smile. I'm not sure she'd like something to put over her head but it is worth a try!

Thanks for the tip,

Angie

meltdowns>Date: Tue, 21 Jan 2003 20:14:52 -0800>>I know that for us it has really helped to isolate (6) when he is>having a meltdown. He is really in to "rules," so we told him the "rule" >is>if he is going to be angry, he has to go to his room. So, as soon as he>starts to get angry and yell, or throw things or try to hurt his sister or>I, I tell him he has to go to his room. The surprising thing is it >works!!!>He will stomp up the stairs and bang his door and sometimes I can hear all>kinds of terrible noises coming from his room, but at least he is not>impacting the rest of the family. It usually only takes 10-15 minutes and>he comes back down. We always just let it go and go on with business, then>sometime later, when he is really calm, I will talk with him about a better>way to handle the situation.>>Like this evening, for instance. The car was low on gas and I decided to>run it through the car wash while I was getting gas. This is one of >'s>favorite things, but I don't do it often. Well, we were waiting inside>watching the other cars going through. Our car was next in line when there>was a horrible crunching sound and everything shut down!!! Oh no!!!! The>mechanism was broken. Well, the folks washed all the cars still in line by>hand and it turned out clean enough, but this was not enough for !! >He>was practically hysterical that our car did not go through the machine (one>of his obsessions is gears and machinery). So here I am with an hysterical>6 year old screaming about the "stupid" car wash and the "idiots" who run >it>and how when we leave this place we are going to another car wash. Well,>with my heart about as low as it can go and really wishing the ground would>just swallow me up then and there, I knew we were in for a major meltdown.>Now, I could have agreed to take the car to another carwash. That would>have satisfied him and we would have avoided the meltdown. But, it just >did>not feel like the right thing to do. It was already 5PM, my older daughter>had lots of homework to do and I had dinner to fix. So I strapped the>screaming 6 year old in to his carseat (thank goodness he only weighs 38>pounds and still has to be in a carseat!!!) and drove home, all the while>listening to a barrage of words from the back seat telling me how stupid I>was and how he hated me and how I better turn this car around or he was>going to make me. When we pulled in to the driveway, he started a major>high-pitched screaming fit. Again, thank goodness he is only 38 pounds!!!>I carried him in to the house, set him on the front landing, pointed up the>stairs and said, (very calmly I think after what he had put me through!)>"GET UPSTAIRS RIGHT NOW AND I DO NOT WANT TO SEE YOU UNTIL YOU CAN ACT >HUMAN>AGAIN!!!!" (OK, it was not so calm. I am sure the neighbors were>wondering....)>>>THUMP, THUMP, THUMP upstairs. BANG, BANG, BANG, goes the door (how strong>are those hinges, anyway???). But my daughter and I unpack the car and she>starts her homework and I start dinner. After a while, down comes .>"Mom, I am going to give you two choices.">>"OK">>"Take the car back out to another carwash or take the car back out to>another carwash">>"Sorry, try again. I already told you I am not going back to another>carwash. Besides, that was just one choice.">>"I hate you.">>"Back up to your room.">>THUMP THUMP THUMP, BANG BANG BANG!!!>>Quiet for a while. Suspiciously so. But I resist the temptation to go up>and check on him.>>Down he comes again. "Mom, have you changed your mind yet?">>"Nope">>"Doh" (Like Homer Simpson) "Well, then, can I have a snack?">>"Sure">>And we went on like nothing had happened. Had a nice dinner, watched a>little TV, and now, he is playing while I take some time on the computer.>>Should I punish him for the meltdown? I don't think so. Sometimes I >really>think he can not help himself. And he was very disappointed he could not>see the car go through the carwash. I hope the next time he pitches a fit>he will remember that I do not give in. (OK I know I have not been giving >in>for almost 7 years. You would think it would get through that thick skull>of his!!)>>Anyways, this ended up being way longer than I meant it too, and it seems >to>be turning in to a short story. I was just reading the posts about what to>do with a meltdown and it seemed to fit since we had such a big one this>evening that actually ended on a positive note.>>Take care all,>Debi>_________________________________________________________________The new MSN 8: advanced junk mail protection and 2 months FREE* http://join.msn.com/?page=features/junkmail