MORNING COFFEE

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IF LIFE WERE NOT SO BITTER...

File this story under the heading: "If life were not so bitter,revenge would not be sweet."

After seventeen years of marriage, a man dumped his wife for a youngerwoman. The downtown luxury apartment was in his name and he wanted toremain there with his new love, so he asked his wife to move out andsaid he would buy her another place. The wife agreed to this, butasked that she be given three days.

The first day she packed her personal belongings into boxes and cratesand suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collecther things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at theircandlelit dining table, soft music playing in the background, andfeasted alone on shrimp and a bottle of Chardonnay.

When she had finished, she went into each room and deposited shrimpleftovers into the hollow of her curtain rods. She then cleaned up thekitchen and left.

Her husband returned with his new girl, and all was bliss for thefirst few days. Then it started; slowly but surely. Clueless, the mancould not explain why the place smelled as it did.

They tried everything. First they cleaned and mopped and aired theplace out. That didn't work. Then they checked vents for dead rodents.Still no luck. They steam cleaned the carpets and hung air fresheners.That didn't solve the problem. They hired exterminators; still nogood. They ripped out the carpets and replaced them. But the smelllingered.

Finally, they could take it no more and decided to move. The movingcompany packed everything and moved it all to their new place.Everything. Even the curtain rods.

I like the story because of the humor. But revenge is always a pooroption if we want to be healthy and happy.

The problem is... we can't carry a grudge and carry love in our heartsat the same time. We have to give one of them up. It's a choice wemake.

Some resentments are large; they've built up over a long time and willnot be easy to part with. Some have been fed by years of pain andanger. But all the more reason to give them up.

When we're tired of the anger and resentment and bitterness, we can choose a better way. We can be forever unhappy, or we can be healthy. We're just not made to carry a big grudge and a heart filled with love at the same time.

But I still chuckle at the story.

Steve Goodier

When children try something new, they practice over and over until they master it. They make the challenge of learning fun and the work of trainingturns into play.

Unlike a child's mind, your adult mind reminds you of the reasons why you can't do something, whichcreates resistance and ultimately leads to quitting.You end up turning back to your old ways, to comfort zones that have nothing new to offer.Imagine yourself as a child. Now, how do you feel about that new project?

Next time you tackle something new, adopt the mind set of a child. Remain open and try not to placeexpectations on the outcome. Before you know it,you will be immersed in continual positivereinforcement. Success will come easily becauseyou are thinking like a child.

There are some assumptions that you have no choice but to make, and they can at times be helpful. Many assumptions, though, just get in the way. When you assume that a task will be difficult, you'll likely make it even more difficult than it otherwise would have been. When you assume that something will be easy, that can lead to needless frustration and dismay when unexpected challenges arrive. Instead of putting your energy into making assumptions, put that energy into being fully aware. Pull away the mask of your assumptions, and there is much you'll suddenly be able to see. Rather than assuming what you'll find around the next bend, make the journey and experience what is really there. Instead of assuming how someone will be, make the effort to truly get to know that person. When you assume, realize full well that you're doing it. And know that you could indeed be wrong. Are there assumptions you hold that could be holding you back? Look beyond them and find much value in what is really there. Ralph Marston

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