Re: work on abandonment, failure - Jan

[Guest guest]

Thank you Jan for this ! Finally I get what it means to beat your

self up by doing the work. You wrote to me a while back about it and

the questions " am I beating myself up when I do the work, what does

it mean " has been floating around in my brain since then. I didn´t

get it but it upset me so I knew there was something in it for me. I

have struggled so much with it. Wonder why I didn´t ask you what you

ment...Think I was afraid. When the worst that could happen was that

I still wouldn´t understand, and I was already living that!

However, I loved this post and I´m grateful that I read it.

Love,

> > > Carol,

> I've seem many depressions go

> > > into remission simply by the changing of diet, association and

> > > activity. I had one client who improved by quiting a job he

hated,

> > > another stopped eating sugar and a third moved out of the city

into

> > > a lake property he inherited from his father.

> > >

> >

> > Hey Eddie,

> >

> > Of course we all know that what ended the depression of those

> > dear sweet people was NOT stopping eating sugar or changing

their

> > job, it was the fact that they STOPPED believing the depressing

> > THOUGHTS running through their head. Don't you just love it, the

> > depression ends, then I run the story of how the sugar or the

job

> > change did it so that I never get to SEE the truth that MY

THOUGHTS

> > did it!

> >

> > One of my favorite CDs has a man who tries to explain his

wifes

> > suicide in terms of chemical imbalance in her brain or a genetic

> > predisposition, then cuts in and says that's its still her

> > THINKING that caused her suicide whether or not their was a

chemical

> > imbalance or genetic error. LOL ... I do love 's clarity.

>

> > Neo

>

> Interesting stuff...

>

> Eddie seems to be saying that by changing the " external "

environment,

> it illicits an " internal " change. In my experience when I love

myself

> enough to inquire what my truth is, sometimes I change or

rearrange my

> " external " life. Loving me is very healing indeed.

>

> seems to be saying that by changing the " internal " thoughts,

that

> illicits an " internal " change. Could be true. I just find it a

> little difficult to have convincing thoughts that I can live on

air,

> or if I walk through a burning building that if I believe I won't

get

> burned I won't. Could be true. I just know that this is a level

of

> story dropping that I haven't quite approached yet - don't care to

> approach.

>

> If I were to inquire and find that I believe that sugar is harmful

to

> my story of my diabetic heritage, then I may wish to limit or

> eliminate it from my diet. To work on beating myself up that I

must

> be weak because I feel the need to give up sugar in order not to

get

> diabetes for me is using the work in a rather harsh manner thus

> unpeaceful for me.

>

> We all have stories. It's what we do. Finding what stories are

yours

> and working with them until they drop away from you and you own the

> understanding as you do inquiry simply seems a kinder more loving

> process instead of just treating stories the way seems to

treat

> them - Just drop 'em and do it now - get over it!!!!

>

> Thanks to Eddie and for helping me to see my story in all this

> more clearly....

>

> - Jan

[Guest guest]

" " wrote:

> Thank you Jan for this ! Finally I get what it means to beat your

> self up by doing the work. You wrote to me a while back about it and

> the questions " am I beating myself up when I do the work, what does

> it mean " has been floating around in my brain since then. I didn´t

> get it but it upset me so I knew there was something in it for me. I

> have struggled so much with it. Wonder why I didn´t ask you what you

> ment...Think I was afraid. When the worst that could happen was that

> I still wouldn´t understand, and I was already living that!

> However, I loved this post and I´m grateful that I read it.

>

> Love,

>

You are welcome...I'm learning that when I am living a short distance

away from my body, I can be harsh and demand of myself to live up to

the intellectual knowledge that all stories are lies.

I've also discovered that I'm harsh when I do the work on " a story

once removed " like - my boyfriend causes me.....

One way I can have pain from this line is the thought... the story if

" he is my boyfriend " then he should be.....so I find many statements I

write need to be backed up a notch or two. Trish (an old timer on

this board...) was FABULOUS at demonstrating this to me. Then for me

I used to find comfort in 's statement...peaceful stories that

are not painful - don't inquire.

Why not? Because says so? Not so for me. Addicts never

inquire into the presently peaceful story of I'm happy

with.......(fill in blank with addiction) until the addiction no

longer works for them.

For me I ask - why wait? I inquire into anything and I love it - I

discover the pain that is inherent in all beliefs and it is delicious.

Blessings - Jan

[Guest guest]

Dear Jan,

this is some thoughts I got when I read this post from you:

> You are welcome...I'm learning that when I am living a short

distance

> away from my body, I can be harsh and demand of myself to live up

to

> the intellectual knowledge that all stories are lies.

>

> I've also discovered that I'm harsh when I do the work on " a story

> once removed " like - my boyfriend causes me.....

>

> One way I can have pain from this line is the thought... the story

if

> " he is my boyfriend " then he should be.....so I find many

statements I

> write need to be backed up a notch or two. Trish (an old timer on

> this board...) was FABULOUS at demonstrating this to me. Then for

me

> I used to find comfort in 's statement...peaceful stories that

> are not painful - don't inquire.

>

> Why not? Because says so? Not so for me. Addicts never

> inquire into the presently peaceful story of I'm happy

> with.......(fill in blank with addiction) until the addiction no

> longer works for them.

Not true for me. What is an addiction? For me, a story of a need.

Sure happy addicts inquire. I know, because I did it. People told me

stories about smoking so I asked myself what is my story? And found

the truth is that I like it, don´t need to stop it, and right now

I´m fine with it. And when I´m not I can always do another inquiry.

Or inquire it while I´m fine with it too.You can inquire everything

and I´v heard said she did that. Her name, what time it is and

so on. So I haven´t heard said you should not iquire happy

stories. But what I have noticed is that most of the things I feel a

need to inquire is things that don´t feel comfortable to me.

> For me I ask - why wait? I inquire into anything and I love it - I

> discover the pain that is inherent in all beliefs and it is

delicious.

Hmmm... I haven´t found pain in all beliefs. Could be that´s why I

don´t feel a need to inquiry them...

>

> Blessings - Jan

Love,

maria

[Guest guest]

> Dear Jan,

> this is some thoughts I got when I read this post from you:

>

>

> Not true for me. What is an addiction?

An addiction is an external attempt to find a connection for an

internal disconnect. Once you are connected to who you really are, no

attempt to attach to a person, a thing (smoking), a pet, a sex act, a

gambling anticipatory high, a delectable food item, an obsessive

thought, or any " thing " can hold a candle to the bliss of that

internal connection and realization. Everything drops away and

nothing is left.

All external and internal attempts to attach to " something " are

painful. Attaching to " no-thing " , no suffering.

> For me, a story of a need.

need? - or desire.

> Sure happy addicts inquire. I know, because I did it. People told me

> stories about smoking so I asked myself what is my story? And found

> the truth is that I like it, don´t need to stop it, and right now

> I´m fine with it. And when I´m not I can always do another inquiry.

> Or inquire it while I´m fine with it too.You can inquire everything

> and I´v heard said she did that. Her name, what time it is and

> so on. So I haven´t heard said you should not iquire happy

> stories. But what I have noticed is that most of the things I feel a

> need to inquire is things that don´t feel comfortable to me.

One of the nice things about doing inquiry is that eventually you get

how insignificant is. I've noticed that all my addictions felt

comfortable - a conditioned mind is simply that - conditioned to

believe. How many cigarettes did it take you to feel like you like

smoking? What connection do you get from it? I've believed lies for

years - still do. Really loving yourself and treating yourself in a

sacred manner....only happens when your level of internal abuse

lessens...just my experience. For me hell is familiar...bliss is

kinda scary...

When I choose to believe the lie - I give up such tremdous bliss...all

for a lie....amazing!

>

>

> > For me I ask - why wait? I inquire into anything and I love it - I

> > discover the pain that is inherent in all beliefs and it is

> delicious.

>

>

> Hmmm... I haven´t found pain in all beliefs. Could be that´s why I

> don´t feel a need to inquiry them...

Don't, I do it because it is the ultimate addictive high. (attachment

moment here!)

> >

>

> > Blessings - Jan

>

>

[Guest guest]

Dear Jan,

don´t get a word of this. I´m too busy being addicted to life and

the happiness I am feeling right now. Can´t take one word in! I love

it! Just floating around in my happy story... Yeah, feels great...

Love you all,

> > Dear Jan,

> > this is some thoughts I got when I read this post from you:

> >

> >

> > Not true for me. What is an addiction?

>

> An addiction is an external attempt to find a connection for an

> internal disconnect. Once you are connected to who you really

are, no

> attempt to attach to a person, a thing (smoking), a pet, a sex

act, a

> gambling anticipatory high, a delectable food item, an obsessive

> thought, or any " thing " can hold a candle to the bliss of that

> internal connection and realization. Everything drops away and

> nothing is left.

>

> All external and internal attempts to attach to " something " are

> painful. Attaching to " no-thing " , no suffering.

>

> > For me, a story of a need.

>

> need? - or desire.

>

> > Sure happy addicts inquire. I know, because I did it. People

told me

> > stories about smoking so I asked myself what is my story? And

found

> > the truth is that I like it, don´t need to stop it, and right

now

> > I´m fine with it. And when I´m not I can always do another

inquiry.

> > Or inquire it while I´m fine with it too.You can inquire

everything

> > and I´v heard said she did that. Her name, what time it is

and

> > so on. So I haven´t heard said you should not iquire happy

> > stories. But what I have noticed is that most of the things I

feel a

> > need to inquire is things that don´t feel comfortable to me.

>

> One of the nice things about doing inquiry is that eventually you

get

> how insignificant is. I've noticed that all my addictions

felt

> comfortable - a conditioned mind is simply that - conditioned to

> believe. How many cigarettes did it take you to feel like you like

> smoking? What connection do you get from it? I've believed lies

for

> years - still do. Really loving yourself and treating yourself in

a

> sacred manner....only happens when your level of internal abuse

> lessens...just my experience. For me hell is familiar...bliss is

> kinda scary...

>

> When I choose to believe the lie - I give up such tremdous

bliss...all

> for a lie....amazing!

> >

> >

> > > For me I ask - why wait? I inquire into anything and I love

it - I

> > > discover the pain that is inherent in all beliefs and it is

> > delicious.

> >

> >

> > Hmmm... I haven´t found pain in all beliefs. Could be that´s why

I

> > don´t feel a need to inquiry them...

>

> Don't, I do it because it is the ultimate addictive high.

(attachment

> moment here!)

> > >

> >

> > > Blessings - Jan

> >

> >