Re: *Re: Advice

[Guest guest]

I know I am really late in putting my 02 cents worth in on this, that darn IKE !!! Anyway I just wanted to say gave some awesome advice, and exactly what I was going to say.

Good luck Kristi. Just keep in mind you cannot control your ex, and unfortunately the more you try, the more he will do it to irk ya. It will really cause a deep spot of contention. Just let it go, and deal with the kids and your rules in your home. All you can do, and lowers your stress level a ton.

Hugs

 Jules

Romero

-- *Re: [DownSyndromeInfoExchange] Advice

Being a divorced Dad. Gratefully we get along quite well. I can offer some advice. We share custody, we each have them 50% of the time.The "r" word is a hot topic for many reasons recently. I have blogged about it here.Mostly what you have to remember is different people feel differently about it. The only thing you have control over is your own house and how you act towards it. You have done your best to tell him how it makes you feel and he has shared that he doesn't share your feelings. You will not get him to change his mind. You are only causing yourself pain, by thinking you can. What you can control is what actions are in place in your own house and the reasons behind them. I know in mine when there is a difference between our two houses I just tell the children these are the rules here and I expect them to follow them. They will soon get in line with what needs to be done and how they should act based on YOUR rules. As far as your oldest. Just teach him the rules in your house and make him follow them and he will be fine. Now onto you. As I remember each time I run across one of these instances. You got divorced for a reason and this is one of them. It establishes why what happened happened and that you are better off for it. Hope that helps.Chris

On Fri, Sep 12, 2008 at 8:22 PM, Kristi <krististephens06> wrote:

Hi All!I have a son who will be 1 this month on the 24th...woo-hoo! We have been through so much and I am blessed to have him. The issue that it bothering me right now is with is dad. We are divorced and he is remarried and has pretty much nothing to do with him. Lately he has been using the "r" word extremely too much! And I have repeatedly asked him not to say that, to please think of another word to use. I have explained that I REALLY don't like that word. But he says things like "That's so retarded" or "are you retarded", and I have said "you mean, thats so stupid". But he doesn't care and ignores my thoughts and feelings on this matter. We also have a 2 year old boy(wesley) together and I don't want that word to ever come out of his mouth, I would cry trying to explain that one. I got so mad last night after he used the word in a sentence while talking about him picking up wesley, that I just hung up while he was in mid sentence. I sent him a text asking him what it would take to make him quit using that word. His reply was "I'm not fake i realize my son has a disability but i don't think its fair to just change my vocab". What an ass! I replied and said so then its ok for someone to walk up and ask if our son was retarded, that it will be ok cause he shouldn't have to change his vocab either. I got no reply but once again when I met him to let him get wesley for his weekend he used the word again. I just want to scream and slap some since into his ignorant butt. What can I do to explain to his ignorant self? If he keeps doing this after I ask him to stop, one day I will probably slap him right in mid sentence. Any advice please....Kristi~Praying for patience!~