Work on the poop-man - long

[Guest guest]

1. Who angers, confuses, or disappoints you, and why? What is it

about him you don't like?

I am really mad at the man that told me not to have the dogs on the

grass field.

Is it true? Yes, I am mad, and yes that was what he said.

So he shouldn´t have told you not to have the dogs on the field.

Is that true? No, because that was what happened.

How do you react when you believe this thought? I hate him! I feel

humiliated. I feel like he stepped on me. I want to punch his

rightious, red, little face. I want to shout obsceneties and scream.

I feel mad, mad, mad!

Who would you be without this thought? He is standing there, saying

what he is saying and you can´t think that he shouldn´t? Peaceful. I

would think that he was cute. I would listen and understand. My

heart would be open. I wouldn´t be afraid.

TA: He should have told me not to have the dogs on the field. Truer.

This is reality. And when I look at the words they seem so harmless,

so innocent.

I shouldn´t have told him that I am going to have the dogs on the

field. I didn´t say it out loud, but that was what I was thinking.

And I AM going to have them there. And he will probably keep wanting

me to take them away. So we are both as stubborn. We both want what

we want. That´s all. No one is right, no one is wrong, we just want

different things.

I shouldn´t have told me not to have the dogs on the field. I think

this is true. I think his words wouldn´t have made such a big

deal if I hadn´t told myself this too. I remember questioning my

right to be there anyway, so yes, this is true.

2. How do you want him to change? What do you want him to do?

I want him to mind his own business.

Is it true he wasn´t? I don´t know. At a first look I was sure he

was in my business, but I am not so sure anymore.

Can you absolutely know this is true? No. Maybe he was staying in

his own business, just asking for what he wanted. I don´t know.

How do you react when you believe the thought that you want him to

stay in his own business? I want him to go away, leave me alone. I

am very angry at him. And afraid. I feel as he just stepped into

my " integrety-zone " and violated it. I want to push him away. I

really, really don´t like him. I think he is very ugly.

Who would you be without this thought? He is standing there, doing

what he´s doing and you can´t think this thought? I would see him as

innocent. I would be peaceful.

TA: I don´t want him to mind his own business. True. I rather just

be peaceful no matter whose business he is in.

I want me to mind my own business. Yes, truest. I was totally in his

business. The minute I had the thought that he should mind his own

business, I was in his business. Every thought I have had about this

has been about his business.

I want him to see that I didn´t do anything wrong.

Is it true that he saw you do something wrong? I don´t know.

Can you absolutely know it´s true? No, he never said that, but I

believe that he thinks so because of the other things he said and

his whole behavior. This is what I really want, I don´t want him to

think I did something wrong.

So he, or anyone else on this earth, shouldn´t think you did

something wrong. Is that really true? No. If they do, they do.

How do you react when you believe this thought? This is really,

really painful. Very stressful. I get so scared. I feel so small. I

just want to crawl under my blanket on my sofa, where I´m safe and

stay there. So many thoughts comes into my mind now. This is a very

important belief, I see how it has influenced the way I have been

living my life for almost 2 years. When I worked as a teacher I got

a lot of criticism from the parents and my boss. One day it just

became too much for me and I left my work and only went back one

more time to say goodbye. After that I slowly started to isolate

myself. It got worse and worse. Sometimes I didn´t leave my home for

weeks. It is first now, this summer, that I have been able to break

my isolation.

Who would you be without the thought that he or anyone else on this

earth, shouldn´t think you did something wrong? Very peaceful. Very

happy. Calm and unafraid. Open to others, open to myself.

TA: He, or anyone else on this earth, should think I did something

wrong. This is true when they do that. Then it is reality. It is

what is.

I shouldn´t think that he, or anyone else on this earth, did

something wrong. Can I do that? No. When I think people are wrong, I

just do, I have no control over it. So this man had no control

either. He is just like me. Everyone is just like me. And in this

particular case, I was the one who thought he was wrong. I really

have no idea of what he really thought.

I shouldn´t think I did something wrong. Well, I did. I was the one

with these thoughts. If I hadn´t believed it myself, none of what he

said would have hurted. It is not his job to approve of my actions,

it is my job.

3. What is it that he should or shouldn't do, be, think or feel?

What advice could you offer?

He shouldn´t attack an innocent woman.

Is it true? No. He didn´t attack me. He approached me and told me

what he thought.

How do you react when you believe this thought? I feel like a

victim. I feel defenceless, and I feel like I need to defend myself.

I think he is a coward, an awful little man. I feel scornful.

Who would you be without this thought? Without anger. Calm and

peaceful.

TA: He should attack an innocent woman. Well, if he does it is true,

but he didn´t do that.

I shouldn´t attack an innocent man. Very true. I did that in my

mind. Very much. And I couldn´t stop. No more than he could stop

himself from approaching me.

I shouldn´t attack myself. Yes. Every attack on him is an indirect

attack on myself. Because it hurts me. It is very painful.

4. Do you need anything from him? What does he need to do in order

for you to be happy?

I need him to approach me again so I can kick his ass real hard.

Is it true? No, I really don´t need that.

TA: I don´t need him to approach me again so I can kick his ass real

hard. True. I needed to do the Work and find my way back home again.

I need him to approach me again so I can give him a big hug. Yeah,

why not...After all it was this kind man who showed me where I still

was attached to my stories!

I need me to approach me again so I can give me a big hug. Yes,

absolutely. And I do that right now.

5. What do you think of him? Make a list.

Hi is a control freak. He is a I-know-best person. He is a bully. He

is a coward, he would never had the guts to do that to Hans, a much

bigger man than him that also can look dangerous. He is a mean,

small-minded little man.

TA: I am a control-freak. True. I wanted to control his thinking and

actions. I am a I-know-best person. Yes, I thought I knew what was

the best thing to happen for both him and me. I am a bully. Yes. I

bullied him in my mind, his whole being was wrong. I am a coward.

Yes, when I stood there on the field I was too afraid to meet my own

thoughts, it took me half a day before i had the guts. I am a mean

small-minded little woman. Yes, comments are unnecessary, just look

at what all my thoughts about this man!

6. What is it that you don't want to experience with that person

again?

I don't ever want to feel this angry again.

TA: I look forward to feel this angry again! Yes I truly do. This

was such a great opportunity to take a look at myself and now I feel

peaceful again!

Any comments are welcome!

Love,