on addictions

[Guest guest]

Below is a piece on addiction from 's book " All War Belongs on

Paper " (Thanks to Steve D. for this electronic version). You can

take out all the references to alcohol and replace them with smoking

since they are just a different form of addiction.

Enjoy

' Addiction

BK: Welcome, angel. Let's play. Take a deep breath and begin

reading. Just read what you have written.

: I don't like alcohol, but I seem to really enjoy drinking a

lot. Alcohol is wrecking my relationships with myself and my family.

It's going to put me in a situation that I really don't want to be

in. I am fighting with it because I don't want to drink it, but I am

drinking it. I don't know what to do about it.

BK: My experience is I'm not addicted to alcohol. I'm addicted to my

thinking. Alcohol is an effect of my thinking. I haven't known how

to understand or shut down my thinking, so alcohol is available to

get me through this hell. It can look like grace, for awhile. It

gets me through to a point, but only up to a point. I sober

up and am left with more confusion.

And then some of us go for even more radical combinations in the

attempt to shut down our minds, like cocaine possibly or

tranquilizers or sex. And ultimately it turns out like everything

else. It comes down to this. We are still stuck with our thoughts

running wildly and uncontrollably.

Let's take a look. Read the sentence you wrote, sweetheart.

: Alcohol is wrecking my relationships with myself and my

family.

BK: Now, put the words " my thinking " where you have the

word " alcohol " , and read it again.

: My thinking is wrecking any relationship with myself and my

family.

BK: Feel it. Is that as true?

: It is exactly true. I am with them, but I am not really with

them because I am thinking of a way to get out of there and get a

drink. I think I need to drink.

BK: You are insane with your thinking before you ever take a drink.

And those of you that are doing the food thing, you're not eating

chocolate. You're eating insanity You're eating an uncomfortable

mind. There is no chocolate. There is no alcohol. So put your symbol

where he has the word alcohol. What is your symbol?

Is it brother, husband, food, cigarettes, money, relationships? You

need to drink, is it true?

: No.

BK: No. I know it's not true, because I do not see a drink in your

hand now. And how do you react when you attach to the lie that you

need to drink?

: I drink. I make excuses to drink. I break commitments. I

miss work. I use a lot of manipulations to get it and lies to cover

it up. And if someone tells me not to, drink. I go to war to get a

drink. I think it's their fault. I do anything to set a drink.

BK: How does that feel?

: It feels like a lot of pain and effort and a lot of hurt.

BK: And we can strap ourselves in a chair or have someone chain us

to it so we won't drink, and there is no freedom. We still want a

drink because we are attached to our uninvestigated thinking. Angel,

who would you be if you did not hold the belief, the lie, that you

need to drink?

: A different person. Definitely. I wouldn't be a liar. And I

find myself lying when I am drinking - especially to myself.

BK: Good. Let's look at the next one.

: I don't want to become dependent on alcohol. I don't want to

have a craving for it.

BK: Use the word thinking and read it again.

: I don't want to become dependent on my thinking. I don't

want to have a craving for my thinking.

BK: That is the only addiction that has ever happened.

: I am addicted to my thinking?

BK: You are addicted to your story. When you inquire and abstain

from the lies, the body naturally follows.

: I went four and a half years without having a drink after

going through rehab. And then a month and a half ago 1 picked it up

again.

BK: I don't see a problem with that. My problem is my thinking.

That's what I deal with. I don't attach to alcohol or to things. I

only attach to the thought arising. " Things " are only a symbol, a

mirror image of your thinking. If you were drunk with your thinking

for those four and a half years, it's not surprising that you would

drink alcohol again. How else, other than inquiry, can we live with

bitterness and self-pity? Body follows mind, and alcohol is one way

that it can look. Let's look at the next one.

: I don't want alcohol to be a part of my life in a negative

way.

BK: Turn it around.

: I don't want my thinking to be a part of my life in a

negative way.

BK: So now you know how.

: Don't think negative thoughts, is that it?

BK: You could give it your best shot. That never worked for me

though. I have learned to welcome them. I open my arms to negative

thoughts and bring them to light on paper. I meet them through

inquiry with understanding in the way that we are doing here. And I

live an internal life that alcohol at its very best could never

compete with. Just notice the negative thoughts. Write them down.

Ask four questions and turn them around. Sit with it the way you

might sit with a drink. Go inside patiently and fill the thirst. The

hunger and thirst is for God. That is where the real high is. When

we know how to go there and we know it's inside of us, God-

realization for oneself becomes the ultimate addiction and it works.

The ultimate addiction is know thyself for thyself. Ask you!

Let's look at the next.

: I need alcohol to escape.

BK: You need alcohol to escape. Is it true? Is that really your

experience?

: No.

BK: So much for that. And how do you react when you attach to the

thought, " I can escape through alcohol? "

: I drink and I hold onto a lot of pain usually. I just don't

find out what is bothering me. I set it aside and don't look at it.

BK: And does that work?

: No. Because it's still there.

BK: Who would you be without that myth that alcohol is a successful

escape?

: I don't know who I would be. Somebody else. Somebody else.

BK: Free of the lie possibly. That is the grace of peace. So

sweetheart. put the word " my thinking " where you have the

word " alcohol " .

: Okay, I need my thinking to escape.

BK: And that thinking is what you use to get a drink. That is your

ticket to alcohol When the lie is unraveled, you have what you

wanted alcohol to give you and never could. You have you back. And

you have clarity. I love that the closer you get to alcohol (with

this work) the more you get to realize these thought systems arising

in you so you don't have to react and act on them. You get to see

and experience who you are without your mental craziness. And

when it appears again, you have this work to meet it. So you still

get high (not drunk). Let's look at the next.

: Alcohol makes me sad, happy, insecure and lost.

BK: My thinking...

: My thinking makes me sad, happy, insecure and lost. So I am

making myself that way?

BK: Yes. By attaching to these thought systems - drunk or sober.

: So how do I let go of them?

BK: It's my experience that you can't let go of them. You didn't

create them in the first place. We don't get up in the morning and

decide to think. The thoughts just come. And through this work, we

meet them with understanding finally and we no longer experience the

negative effects (such as drinking) of believing them. Through

inquiry, thoughts let go of me. It's the truth - your truth - that

will set you free. It waits untapped inside of you. It's always

there waiting, if you really want to know the truth and have the

willingness to ask of such an abundant, sobering, allgiving

source. Let's look at the next one.

: I don't ever want to drink alcohol again.

BK: Where we drink, before we physically drink is in our mind. Isn't

that where you begin drinking?

: Sure. Absolutely.

BK: So that thought, to drink, could arise again. And when it

arises, you are going to feel it. And that is the voice that says do

The Work. Get the high that works: the one that takes you much

higher than alcohol. So, I'm willing to...

: I am willing to drink.

BK: Yes, if only in your mind. It will take you back to The Work. I

look forward...

: I look forward to drinking.

BK: Yes. Just before you drink there is a thought. It may be about

something your wife did, something your children did, something your

neighbor did, something your boss did, or something your client did

(in your mind). And then you think, " Drink. " , that woman, that

child, that thing, or that situation.

: Whatever it is?

BK: Yes. without reservation. This work is steps one through twelve.

It's the fourth and fifth steps that everyone wanted to do and

didn't know how. Don't necessarily do The Work on drinking Go back

to the thought system just prior to the drink thought, and do The

Work on that, on that man again. Do The Work on the thoughts prior

to the drink thoughts. The prior system is what you are trying to

shut down with the alcohol. Apply The Work to that, not necessary to

alcohol.

: So, I just investigate those thoughts with The Work? And

then I will find the solution and have peace of mind?

BK: Do The Work. And your truth, not mine, will set you free. It's

for you to ask you. Your only problem is your thinking, and the

solution lies within you. I love you sweetheart. Welcome to The Work.