Guest guest Posted October 16, 2004 Report Share Posted October 16, 2004 Dear nne, Am 16.10.2004 um 17:26 schrieb nne: > > > > Dear nne, dear Jan, > > > > reading your discussion several things com up in my mind: > > > > I see Jan as *pushing* people to inquiry, and the thought " can't she > > see that she is the one who should do it? " . > > And I realize that I am the one who should do it. And that I don't > like > > myself when I push people to inquiry. > > > > I see that nne wants to make Jan accept her, and her > gentleness, > > and that she wants Jan to take care of herself. > > And I realize that that is what I do, I want others to care about > > themselves. And I want them to acknowledge my caring for them. > > > > I see that both want to " spread " their love. > > And I realize that I can not give my love to anyone, I can only let > it > > " flow " through myself. And it is when I experience this love, that I > > can see it in them. > > I'm having a hard time seeing Jan loving herself (Jan caring for > herself)in the way that she rejects...can you help me out here? I > experience love FOR Jan.. and that is exactly why I said something to > her..... I don't know. What has more charge for you: " Jan would be much better off, if she *really* listened to me " or " Jan is rejecting my/her insights (or whatever it is that you see she rejects) " ? > MY projection is that if I were to push away or do *rejection*, that > it would not be loving to myself....it would be 'cause I was scared. I > would be turning away the gift of a brother and defending myself from > freedom. I would not be open and listening. I would have my heart > closed and be defensive to truth... And what were you scared of? > nne Love, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 16, 2004 Report Share Posted October 16, 2004 > > > Dear nne, dear Jan, > > > > > > reading your discussion several things com up in my mind: > > > > > > I see Jan as *pushing* people to inquiry, and the thought " can't she > > > see that she is the one who should do it? " . > > > And I realize that I am the one who should do it. And that I don't > > like > > > myself when I push people to inquiry. > > > > > > I see that nne wants to make Jan accept her, and her > > gentleness, > > > and that she wants Jan to take care of herself. > > > And I realize that that is what I do, I want others to care about > > > themselves. And I want them to acknowledge my caring for them. > > > > > > I see that both want to " spread " their love. > > > And I realize that I can not give my love to anyone, I can only let > > it > > > " flow " through myself. And it is when I experience this love, that I > > > can see it in them. > > > > I'm having a hard time seeing Jan loving herself (Jan caring for > > herself)in the way that she rejects...can you help me out here? I > > experience love FOR Jan.. and that is exactly why I said something to > > her..... > I don't know. What has more charge for you: > " Jan would be much better off, if she *really* listened to me " or " Jan > is rejecting my/her insights (or whatever it is that you see she > rejects) " ? > Well, the second one. When Jan has in the past asked for the cookie or has invited me into conversation and then rejects my insights, that is very confusing for me...If I ask someone for a *cookie*, it's because I really, really want it, I'm clear it is what I want and I say thank you....I see that is the difference for me. The LIE> If you ask for my insights, my help, that means you really want me to be honest and direct....not just listening to your story.... The Truth> you don't really want to hear what I have to say! You just want a friend to listen to you and join with you. So if a friend asks me to do something for them...and then appears to reject based on what I say or what I have done for them...I guess I'm seeing that maybe my offering them my truth really shakes 'em up. > > MY projection is that if I were to push away or do *rejection*, that > > it would not be loving to myself....it would be 'cause I was scared. I > > would be turning away the gift of a brother and defending myself from > > freedom. I would not be open and listening. I would have my heart > > closed and be defensive to truth... > And what were you scared of? Oh, afraid of hearing the truth..but now I see it was exactly what i needed to hear. > > > nne > Love, > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 17, 2004 Report Share Posted October 17, 2004 Dear nne, So, when you see someone in need, you offer help. That sounds loving. And what I hear is, that when I don't accept it, or if I don't see it as that, you turn away from me. I hear that you want me to accept you. What for? .... > > > > Dear nne, dear Jan, > > > > > > > > reading your discussion several things com up in my mind: > > > > > > > > I see Jan as *pushing* people to inquiry, and the thought > " can't she > > > > see that she is the one who should do it? " . > > > > And I realize that I am the one who should do it. And that I > don't > > > like > > > > myself when I push people to inquiry. > > > > > > > > I see that nne wants to make Jan accept her, and her > > > gentleness, > > > > and that she wants Jan to take care of herself. > > > > And I realize that that is what I do, I want others to care > about > > > > themselves. And I want them to acknowledge my caring for them. > > > > > > > > I see that both want to " spread " their love. > > > > And I realize that I can not give my love to anyone, I can only > let > > > it > > > > " flow " through myself. And it is when I experience this love, > that I > > > > can see it in them. > > > > > > I'm having a hard time seeing Jan loving herself (Jan caring for > > > herself)in the way that she rejects...can you help me out here? I > > > experience love FOR Jan.. and that is exactly why I said > something to > > > her..... > > I don't know. What has more charge for you: > > " Jan would be much better off, if she *really* listened to me " or > " Jan > > is rejecting my/her insights (or whatever it is that you see she > > rejects) " ? > > > Well, the second one. When Jan has in the past asked for the cookie or > has invited me into conversation and then rejects my insights, that is > very confusing for me...If I ask someone for a *cookie*, it's because > I really, really want it, I'm clear it is what I want and I say thank > you....I see that is the difference for me. > > The LIE> If you ask for my insights, my help, that means you really > want me to be honest and direct....not just listening to your > story.... > > The Truth> you don't really want to hear what I have to say! You just > want a friend to listen to you and join with you. > > So if a friend asks me to do something for them...and then appears to > reject based on what I say or what I have done for them...I guess I'm > seeing that maybe my offering them my truth really shakes 'em up. > > > > MY projection is that if I were to push away or do *rejection*, > that > > > it would not be loving to myself....it would be 'cause I was > scared. I > > > would be turning away the gift of a brother and defending myself > from > > > freedom. I would not be open and listening. I would have my heart > > > closed and be defensive to truth... > > And what were you scared of? > > Oh, afraid of hearing the truth..but now I see it was exactly what i > needed to hear. So it's not the rejection that hurts, but your interpretation of what it means? And isn't the truth what you have always heard? Love, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 17, 2004 Report Share Posted October 17, 2004 > Dear nne, > > So, when you see someone in need, you offer help. > That sounds loving. > > And what I hear is, that when I don't accept it, or if I don't see it > as that, you turn away from me. > > I hear that you want me to accept you. > > What for? So i don't feel like I'm wrong/a stooge for giving you the gift....hmmmm My religion would be: if you don't accept me, that means_______________ Thanks Lexi. I see what's going on now... nne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 18, 2004 Report Share Posted October 18, 2004 Dear nne, Am 17.10.2004 um 17:29 schrieb nne: > > > > Dear nne, > > > > So, when you see someone in need, you offer help. > > That sounds loving. > > > > And what I hear is, that when I don't accept it, or if I don't see > it > > as that, you turn away from me. > > > > I hear that you want me to accept you. > > > > What for? > > So i don't feel like I'm wrong/a stooge for giving you the > gift....hmmmm > My religion would be: if you don't accept me, that > means_______________ It may be: " you should accept me. " Whatever has more charge for you. I've found more charge in the latter one, it's easier to see. And I don't have to look for underlying beliefs, I can just undo the one in front of my eyes. > Thanks Lexi. I see what's going on now... You're welcome. > nne Love, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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