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Dear nne,

Am 16.10.2004 um 17:26 schrieb nne:

>

>

> > Dear nne, dear Jan,

> >

> > reading your discussion several things com up in my mind:

> >

> > I see Jan as *pushing* people to inquiry, and the thought " can't she

> > see that she is the one who should do it? " .

> > And I realize that I am the one who should do it. And that I don't

> like

> > myself when I push people to inquiry.

> >

> > I see that nne wants to make Jan accept her, and her

> gentleness,

> > and that she wants Jan to take care of herself.

> > And I realize that that is what I do, I want others to care about

> > themselves. And I want them to acknowledge my caring for them.

> >

> > I see that both want to " spread " their love.

> > And I realize that I can not give my love to anyone, I can only let

> it

> > " flow " through myself. And it is when I experience this love, that I

> > can see it in them.

>

> I'm having a hard time seeing Jan loving herself (Jan caring for

> herself)in the way that she rejects...can you help me out here? I

> experience love FOR Jan.. and that is exactly why I said something to

> her.....

I don't know. What has more charge for you:

" Jan would be much better off, if she *really* listened to me " or " Jan

is rejecting my/her insights (or whatever it is that you see she

rejects) " ?

> MY projection is that if I were to push away or do *rejection*, that

> it would not be loving to myself....it would be 'cause I was scared. I

> would be turning away the gift of a brother and defending myself from

> freedom. I would not be open and listening. I would have my heart

> closed and be defensive to truth...

And what were you scared of?

> nne

Love,

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> > > Dear nne, dear Jan,

> > >

> > > reading your discussion several things com up in my mind:

> > >

> > > I see Jan as *pushing* people to inquiry, and the thought

" can't she

> > > see that she is the one who should do it? " .

> > > And I realize that I am the one who should do it. And that I don't

> > like

> > > myself when I push people to inquiry.

> > >

> > > I see that nne wants to make Jan accept her, and her

> > gentleness,

> > > and that she wants Jan to take care of herself.

> > > And I realize that that is what I do, I want others to care about

> > > themselves. And I want them to acknowledge my caring for them.

> > >

> > > I see that both want to " spread " their love.

> > > And I realize that I can not give my love to anyone, I can only

let

> > it

> > > " flow " through myself. And it is when I experience this love,

that I

> > > can see it in them.

> >

> > I'm having a hard time seeing Jan loving herself (Jan caring for

> > herself)in the way that she rejects...can you help me out here? I

> > experience love FOR Jan.. and that is exactly why I said something to

> > her.....

> I don't know. What has more charge for you:

> " Jan would be much better off, if she *really* listened to me " or " Jan

> is rejecting my/her insights (or whatever it is that you see she

> rejects) " ?

>

Well, the second one. When Jan has in the past asked for the cookie or

has invited me into conversation and then rejects my insights, that is

very confusing for me...If I ask someone for a *cookie*, it's because

I really, really want it, I'm clear it is what I want and I say thank

you....I see that is the difference for me.

The LIE> If you ask for my insights, my help, that means you really

want me to be honest and direct....not just listening to your story....

The Truth> you don't really want to hear what I have to say! You just

want a friend to listen to you and join with you.

So if a friend asks me to do something for them...and then appears to

reject based on what I say or what I have done for them...I guess I'm

seeing that maybe my offering them my truth really shakes 'em up.

> > MY projection is that if I were to push away or do *rejection*, that

> > it would not be loving to myself....it would be 'cause I was

scared. I

> > would be turning away the gift of a brother and defending myself from

> > freedom. I would not be open and listening. I would have my heart

> > closed and be defensive to truth...

> And what were you scared of?

Oh, afraid of hearing the truth..but now I see it was exactly what i

needed to hear.

>

> > nne

> Love,

>

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Dear nne,

So, when you see someone in need, you offer help.

That sounds loving.

And what I hear is, that when I don't accept it, or if I don't see it

as that, you turn away from me.

I hear that you want me to accept you.

What for?

....

> > >  > Dear nne, dear Jan,

> > >  >

> > >  > reading your discussion several things com up in my mind:

> > >  >

> > >  > I see Jan as *pushing* people to inquiry, and the thought

> " can't she

> > >  > see that she is the one who should do it? " .

> > >  > And I realize that I am the one who should do it. And that I

> don't

> > > like

> > >  > myself when I push people to inquiry.

> > >  >

> > >  > I see that nne wants to make Jan accept her, and her

> > > gentleness,

> > >  > and that she wants Jan to take care of herself.

> > >  > And I realize that that is what I do, I want others to care

> about

> > >  > themselves. And I want them to acknowledge my caring for them.

> > >  >

> > >  > I see that both want to " spread " their love.

> > >  > And I realize that I can not give my love to anyone, I can only

> let

> > > it

> > >  > " flow " through myself. And it is when I experience this love,

> that I

> > >  > can see it in them.

> > >

> > >  I'm having a hard time seeing Jan loving herself (Jan caring for

> > >  herself)in the way that she rejects...can you help me out here? I

> > >  experience love FOR Jan.. and that is exactly why I said

> something to

> > >  her.....

> > I don't know. What has more charge for you:

> > " Jan would be much better off, if she *really* listened to me " or

> " Jan

> > is rejecting my/her  insights (or whatever it is that you see she

> > rejects) " ?

> >

> Well, the second one. When Jan has in the past asked for the cookie or

> has invited me into conversation and then rejects my insights, that is

> very confusing for me...If I ask someone for a *cookie*, it's because

> I really, really want it, I'm clear it is what I want and I say thank

> you....I see that is the difference for me.

>

> The LIE> If you ask for my insights, my help, that means you really

> want me to be honest and direct....not just listening to your

> story....

>

> The Truth> you don't really want to hear what I have to say! You just

> want a friend to listen to you and join with you.

>

> So if a friend asks me to do something for them...and then appears to

> reject based on what I say or what I have done for them...I guess I'm

> seeing that maybe my offering them my truth really shakes 'em up.

>

> > >  MY projection is that if I were to push away or do *rejection*,

> that

> > >  it would not be loving to myself....it would be 'cause I was

> scared. I

> > >  would be turning away the gift of a brother and defending myself

> from

> > >  freedom. I would not be open and listening. I would have my heart

> > >  closed and be defensive to truth...

> > And what were you scared of?

>

> Oh, afraid of hearing the truth..but now I see it was exactly what i

> needed to hear.

So it's not the rejection that hurts, but your interpretation of what

it means?

And isn't the truth what you have always heard?

Love,

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> Dear nne,

>

> So, when you see someone in need, you offer help.

> That sounds loving.

>

> And what I hear is, that when I don't accept it, or if I don't see it

> as that, you turn away from me.

>

> I hear that you want me to accept you.

>

> What for?

So i don't feel like I'm wrong/a stooge for giving you the gift....hmmmm

My religion would be: if you don't accept me, that means_______________

Thanks Lexi. I see what's going on now...

nne

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Dear nne,

Am 17.10.2004 um 17:29 schrieb nne:

>

>

> > Dear nne,

> >

> > So, when you see someone in need, you offer help.

> > That sounds loving.

> >

> > And what I hear is, that when I don't accept it, or if I don't see

> it

> > as that, you turn away from me.

> >

> > I hear that you want me to accept you.

> >

> > What for?

>

> So i don't feel like I'm wrong/a stooge for giving you the

> gift....hmmmm

> My religion would be: if you don't accept me, that

> means_______________

It may be: " you should accept me. " Whatever has more charge for you.

I've found more charge in the latter one, it's easier to see. And I

don't have to look for underlying beliefs, I can just undo the one in

front of my eyes.

> Thanks Lexi. I see what's going on now...

You're welcome.

> nne

Love,

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