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---Nice job.

i am angry at my friend jeff for a comment he made regarding the

" abnormalcy "

of the fact that i enjoy being single.

he shouldn't make comments about how he thinks i should live my life.

~is that true? what's the reality of it?

the reality is that he did (and has before). still...

~how do i react when i believe that friends should keep thier comments to

themselves and they don't?

i get really furious inside. i push them away and believe that they are

stupid and blind. i want them to stay out of MY business! self-righteous

anger.

i compare all thier " abnormalities " , which i say they are too stupid and

blind to even see, and want to verbally tear them down, embarass them,

humiliate

them, knock them down a couple wrungs, give them a big dose of fuuuuuuuuuck

YOU. i don't tell them how i think THEY need to be living their lives, so

how

dare they continuously do it to me?! i feel this in my chest, my throat, my

jaw.

~what do i gain by holding this belief?

oh, well it's pretty obvious i get to be extremely right, while i get to see

them as extremely wrong. i also get yet another reason to keep myself

distant

from others, safe in my secluded little existance.

~can i see a peaceful reason to hold on to this thought?

no, not a peaceful one.

~can i see a reason to drop it?

yes, i could move on much easier, and relate to jeff (and others) in a much

more peaceful way.

~who would i be without the belief that friends should keep thier comments

to

themselves?

open to what they do say. less likely to react like an angry rattlesnake.

able to communicate the way i feel about that in a way that is not

attacking,

or 'counter-attacking'. more sane at any rate.

TA

friends should make comments about how they think i should live my life.

well, they do. that's reality.

i should not make comments on how i think they should live thier lives. ah,

as in how they should'nt make comments...good one!

i need to digest this a little.

thanks

jeremy

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Dear ,

how about

> he shouldn't make comments about how he thinks i should live my life.

I shouldn't make comments (to myself) about how I think I should live

my life.

Have you *ever* considered it " abnormal " ?

Love,

Am 30.09.2004 um 14:43 schrieb jmknapp74@...:

> i am angry at my friend jeff for a comment he made regarding the

> " abnormalcy "

> of the fact that i enjoy being single. 

>

> he shouldn't make comments about how he thinks i should live my life.

>

> ~is that true?  what's the reality of it?

> the reality is that he did (and has before).  still...

>

> ~how do i react when i believe that friends should keep thier

> comments to

> themselves and they don't?

> i get really furious inside.  i push them away and believe that they

> are

> stupid and blind.  i want them to stay out of MY business! 

> self-righteous anger. 

> i compare all thier " abnormalities " , which i say they are too stupid

> and

> blind to even see, and want to verbally tear them down, embarass

> them, humiliate

> them, knock them down a couple wrungs, give them a big dose of

> fuuuuuuuuuck

> YOU.  i don't tell them how i think THEY need to be living their

> lives, so how

> dare they continuously do it to me?!  i feel this in my chest, my

> throat, my

> jaw. 

>

> ~what do i gain by holding this belief?

> oh, well it's pretty obvious i get to be extremely right, while i get

> to see

> them as extremely wrong.  i also get yet another reason to keep

> myself distant

> from others, safe in my secluded little existance. 

>

> ~can i see a peaceful reason to hold on to this thought?

> no, not a peaceful one.

>

> ~can i see a reason to drop it?

> yes, i could move on much easier, and relate to jeff (and others) in

> a much

> more peaceful way.

>

> ~who would i be without the belief that friends should keep thier

> comments to

> themselves?

> open to what they do say.  less likely to react like an angry

> rattlesnake. 

> able to communicate the way i feel about that in a way that is not

> attacking,

> or 'counter-attacking'.  more sane at any rate. 

>

> TA

>

> friends should make comments about how they think i should live my

> life. 

> well, they do.  that's reality.

>

> i should not make comments on how i think they should live thier

> lives.  ah,

> as in how they should'nt make comments...good one!

>

>

> i need to digest this a little.

>

> thanks

>

> jeremy

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What came up for me was " I should not think it is abnormal for me to

enjoy being single. For me that is the underlying belief, That I

think there is something wrong, abnormal with being single.

Thanks for sharing,

>> > i am angry at my friend jeff for a comment he made regarding the

> > " abnormalcy "

> > of the fact that i enjoy being single. 

> >

> > he shouldn't make comments about how he thinks i should live my

life.

> >

> > ~is that true?  what's the reality of it?

> > the reality is that he did (and has before).  still...

> >

> > ~how do i react when i believe that friends should keep thier

> > comments to

> > themselves and they don't?

> > i get really furious inside.  i push them away and believe that

they

> > are

> > stupid and blind.  i want them to stay out of MY business! 

> > self-righteous anger. 

> > i compare all thier " abnormalities " , which i say they are too

stupid

> > and

> > blind to even see, and want to verbally tear them down, embarass

> > them, humiliate

> > them, knock them down a couple wrungs, give them a big dose of

> > fuuuuuuuuuck

> > YOU.  i don't tell them how i think THEY need to be living their

> > lives, so how

> > dare they continuously do it to me?!  i feel this in my chest,

my

> > throat, my

> > jaw. 

> >

> > ~what do i gain by holding this belief?

> > oh, well it's pretty obvious i get to be extremely right, while

i get

> > to see

> > them as extremely wrong.  i also get yet another reason to keep

> > myself distant

> > from others, safe in my secluded little existance. 

> >

> > ~can i see a peaceful reason to hold on to this thought?

> > no, not a peaceful one.

> >

> > ~can i see a reason to drop it?

> > yes, i could move on much easier, and relate to jeff (and

others) in

> > a much

> > more peaceful way.

> >

> > ~who would i be without the belief that friends should keep

thier

> > comments to

> > themselves?

> > open to what they do say.  less likely to react like an angry

> > rattlesnake. 

> > able to communicate the way i feel about that in a way that is

not

> > attacking,

> > or 'counter-attacking'.  more sane at any rate. 

> >

> > TA

> >

> > friends should make comments about how they think i should live

my

> > life. 

> > well, they do.  that's reality.

> >

> > i should not make comments on how i think they should live thier

> > lives.  ah,

> > as in how they should'nt make comments...good one!

> >

> >

> > i need to digest this a little.

> >

> > thanks

> >

> > jeremy

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In a message dated 10/1/2004 7:36:33 AM Eastern Standard Time,

olli_26@... writes:

Dear ,

how about

> he shouldn't make comments about how he thinks i should live my life.

I shouldn't make comments (to myself) about how I think I should live

my life.

Have you *ever* considered it " abnormal " ?

Love,

hi alexander,

as for the turnaround, yes...very true. the truth is that i have quite a

commentary on the way i live my life. I should take better care of myself (quit

smoking, get more exercise, do the work more often etc...), i should be more

comfortable around people, i should be more comfortable with myself, feel more

comfortable in my own skin, the list goes on. i feel the vast majority of my

negative judgements and beliefs are about me, far more than they are of others.

Have you *ever* considered it " abnormal " ?

oh, yeah i have. and i defend against that thought. i think the fear is

that if i *enjoy* being alone too much, for too long, i will be alone forever.

and there is no way for me to know that is true. i can see that i am attached

to the relative serenity of " alone-ness " compared to being involved in a

romantic relationship (or any kind of relationship where the other is a big part

of

my everyday life). the pendulum has swung far for me. from the time i was

about 13 until i was 28 i was always involved in some intense affair with one

girl or another, and have had three relatively " long term " relationships btwn

those years. never without a girlfriend for more than a matter of a couple

months between. big fear of being alone. after the last relationship ended, i

allowed myself to pass through the pain of it and have come out the other side

with a whole new appreciation for independence...in fact i am now VERY

protective of it. i love it, but it does keep me at quite a distance. i

suppose

that is where i see " abnormality " , or some story of that. thank you for asking.

this has allowed me to more clearly see the source of my harsh reaction

toward my friend.

jeremy

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