Guest guest Posted September 30, 2004 Report Share Posted September 30, 2004 ---Nice job. i am angry at my friend jeff for a comment he made regarding the " abnormalcy " of the fact that i enjoy being single. he shouldn't make comments about how he thinks i should live my life. ~is that true? what's the reality of it? the reality is that he did (and has before). still... ~how do i react when i believe that friends should keep thier comments to themselves and they don't? i get really furious inside. i push them away and believe that they are stupid and blind. i want them to stay out of MY business! self-righteous anger. i compare all thier " abnormalities " , which i say they are too stupid and blind to even see, and want to verbally tear them down, embarass them, humiliate them, knock them down a couple wrungs, give them a big dose of fuuuuuuuuuck YOU. i don't tell them how i think THEY need to be living their lives, so how dare they continuously do it to me?! i feel this in my chest, my throat, my jaw. ~what do i gain by holding this belief? oh, well it's pretty obvious i get to be extremely right, while i get to see them as extremely wrong. i also get yet another reason to keep myself distant from others, safe in my secluded little existance. ~can i see a peaceful reason to hold on to this thought? no, not a peaceful one. ~can i see a reason to drop it? yes, i could move on much easier, and relate to jeff (and others) in a much more peaceful way. ~who would i be without the belief that friends should keep thier comments to themselves? open to what they do say. less likely to react like an angry rattlesnake. able to communicate the way i feel about that in a way that is not attacking, or 'counter-attacking'. more sane at any rate. TA friends should make comments about how they think i should live my life. well, they do. that's reality. i should not make comments on how i think they should live thier lives. ah, as in how they should'nt make comments...good one! i need to digest this a little. thanks jeremy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 1, 2004 Report Share Posted October 1, 2004 Dear , how about > he shouldn't make comments about how he thinks i should live my life. I shouldn't make comments (to myself) about how I think I should live my life. Have you *ever* considered it " abnormal " ? Love, Am 30.09.2004 um 14:43 schrieb jmknapp74@...: > i am angry at my friend jeff for a comment he made regarding the > " abnormalcy " > of the fact that i enjoy being single. > > he shouldn't make comments about how he thinks i should live my life. > > ~is that true? what's the reality of it? > the reality is that he did (and has before). still... > > ~how do i react when i believe that friends should keep thier > comments to > themselves and they don't? > i get really furious inside. i push them away and believe that they > are > stupid and blind. i want them to stay out of MY business! > self-righteous anger. > i compare all thier " abnormalities " , which i say they are too stupid > and > blind to even see, and want to verbally tear them down, embarass > them, humiliate > them, knock them down a couple wrungs, give them a big dose of > fuuuuuuuuuck > YOU. i don't tell them how i think THEY need to be living their > lives, so how > dare they continuously do it to me?! i feel this in my chest, my > throat, my > jaw. > > ~what do i gain by holding this belief? > oh, well it's pretty obvious i get to be extremely right, while i get > to see > them as extremely wrong. i also get yet another reason to keep > myself distant > from others, safe in my secluded little existance. > > ~can i see a peaceful reason to hold on to this thought? > no, not a peaceful one. > > ~can i see a reason to drop it? > yes, i could move on much easier, and relate to jeff (and others) in > a much > more peaceful way. > > ~who would i be without the belief that friends should keep thier > comments to > themselves? > open to what they do say. less likely to react like an angry > rattlesnake. > able to communicate the way i feel about that in a way that is not > attacking, > or 'counter-attacking'. more sane at any rate. > > TA > > friends should make comments about how they think i should live my > life. > well, they do. that's reality. > > i should not make comments on how i think they should live thier > lives. ah, > as in how they should'nt make comments...good one! > > > i need to digest this a little. > > thanks > > jeremy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 2, 2004 Report Share Posted October 2, 2004 What came up for me was " I should not think it is abnormal for me to enjoy being single. For me that is the underlying belief, That I think there is something wrong, abnormal with being single. Thanks for sharing, >> > i am angry at my friend jeff for a comment he made regarding the > > " abnormalcy " > > of the fact that i enjoy being single. > > > > he shouldn't make comments about how he thinks i should live my life. > > > > ~is that true? what's the reality of it? > > the reality is that he did (and has before). still... > > > > ~how do i react when i believe that friends should keep thier > > comments to > > themselves and they don't? > > i get really furious inside. i push them away and believe that they > > are > > stupid and blind. i want them to stay out of MY business! > > self-righteous anger. > > i compare all thier " abnormalities " , which i say they are too stupid > > and > > blind to even see, and want to verbally tear them down, embarass > > them, humiliate > > them, knock them down a couple wrungs, give them a big dose of > > fuuuuuuuuuck > > YOU. i don't tell them how i think THEY need to be living their > > lives, so how > > dare they continuously do it to me?! i feel this in my chest, my > > throat, my > > jaw. > > > > ~what do i gain by holding this belief? > > oh, well it's pretty obvious i get to be extremely right, while i get > > to see > > them as extremely wrong. i also get yet another reason to keep > > myself distant > > from others, safe in my secluded little existance. > > > > ~can i see a peaceful reason to hold on to this thought? > > no, not a peaceful one. > > > > ~can i see a reason to drop it? > > yes, i could move on much easier, and relate to jeff (and others) in > > a much > > more peaceful way. > > > > ~who would i be without the belief that friends should keep thier > > comments to > > themselves? > > open to what they do say. less likely to react like an angry > > rattlesnake. > > able to communicate the way i feel about that in a way that is not > > attacking, > > or 'counter-attacking'. more sane at any rate. > > > > TA > > > > friends should make comments about how they think i should live my > > life. > > well, they do. that's reality. > > > > i should not make comments on how i think they should live thier > > lives. ah, > > as in how they should'nt make comments...good one! > > > > > > i need to digest this a little. > > > > thanks > > > > jeremy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 3, 2004 Report Share Posted October 3, 2004 In a message dated 10/1/2004 7:36:33 AM Eastern Standard Time, olli_26@... writes: Dear , how about > he shouldn't make comments about how he thinks i should live my life. I shouldn't make comments (to myself) about how I think I should live my life. Have you *ever* considered it " abnormal " ? Love, hi alexander, as for the turnaround, yes...very true. the truth is that i have quite a commentary on the way i live my life. I should take better care of myself (quit smoking, get more exercise, do the work more often etc...), i should be more comfortable around people, i should be more comfortable with myself, feel more comfortable in my own skin, the list goes on. i feel the vast majority of my negative judgements and beliefs are about me, far more than they are of others. Have you *ever* considered it " abnormal " ? oh, yeah i have. and i defend against that thought. i think the fear is that if i *enjoy* being alone too much, for too long, i will be alone forever. and there is no way for me to know that is true. i can see that i am attached to the relative serenity of " alone-ness " compared to being involved in a romantic relationship (or any kind of relationship where the other is a big part of my everyday life). the pendulum has swung far for me. from the time i was about 13 until i was 28 i was always involved in some intense affair with one girl or another, and have had three relatively " long term " relationships btwn those years. never without a girlfriend for more than a matter of a couple months between. big fear of being alone. after the last relationship ended, i allowed myself to pass through the pain of it and have come out the other side with a whole new appreciation for independence...in fact i am now VERY protective of it. i love it, but it does keep me at quite a distance. i suppose that is where i see " abnormality " , or some story of that. thank you for asking. this has allowed me to more clearly see the source of my harsh reaction toward my friend. jeremy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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