Re: Teenage girls-

[Guest guest]

, I'm so excited to read you have a sister with autism! Well,

not the way I meant it, but one of my biggest worries is the way our

family will impact our NT daughters, , 6yrs and Dinah, 8mos.

They have a sister with ASD, Allie Kat, who will be 4 in July.

As far as depression goes, I was deeply depressed the first year

after Allie's dx. It wasn't that I didn't love her or think she was

simply wonderful, it was the fear of the possibility of her not

being able to be educated, work, or live as an independent adult.

It's very scary to think that you could have a child that would need

your constant protection throughout her life, and also knowing that

she will probably still need the protection when she outlives you.

However, Allie has made wonderful progress, I've grown and learned

about my own predjudices and ignorance, and we are settling in

rather nicely to our unexpected twist on our family.

What do I as mommy of my three girls need to know to be a better mom

to them? I read that you wish your mom would be happy. I think I'm a

very happy person and tell my girls each day how wonderful they are.

In fact, I say to each of them, " God made you... " and wait for them

to say, " ...beautiful. " I also tell each of them how they are living

proof that God answers prayers because I prayed for each of them and

look at how overboard He went! But, I worry that perhaps I'm falling

short of what I need to do.

For example, I got back from a seminar the other day. I was filling

in my hubby on what I'd learned when pops in and

says, " Mommy, why is EVERYTHING ALWAYS about Allie? " I

replied, " Honey, everything is not always about Allie, everything is

always about autism. " I then went on to explain if it was or

Dinah that had autism or any other health problem that it's mommy's

job to do everything in my power to find the answer and help for

their health problems, that that is just what mommy's do. By then

she was already on to something else, but it made me wonder what I

could/should do differently to give a sense of peace.

TIA!

Debi

> I am a 22 year old, non-autistic sister of a 20 year old autistic

> woman. We live in metro Detroit, MI. I wouldn't mind chatting

about

> the teenage years. My mom would probably be a better one to know

ALL

> the ups and downs, since I've been away at college. Unfortunately,

> she tries to remove herself from this " scene " as much as

> possible...it depresses her :-( I typically ghost these groups and

> pass on tidbits to her.

>

> Does anyone else have a family member or spouse (or whoever) who

is

> depressed about their role in their autistic family member's life?

> It's very discouraging to me. I know it can't be all sunshine all

the

> time, but I wish my mom could see more of the positive side to our

> situation. She does a great job with my sister and is always

looking

> into nutritional and medicinal options for her, but she's unhappy

> with her life. I don't know how to make it better for her.

>