Re: Worthless

[Guest guest]

> My thing is feeling worthless.

>

> I am worthless.

> -Is it true? I can't know for sure. It is only true in the sense

> that it's my own opinion. My story: My friend walks away and I think

> it means that I am worthless. I think I have proof.

>

> TA: I am valuable.

> -Hmm, in a sense it is also true. It is the other side of the same

> coin. If I look deep I see that sometimes I do feel valuable. My

> story: My friend comes to me. I think it means that I am valuable.

> Now I get away from feeling worthless. I'm using the opposite story.

Where my head goes with valuable and worthless is, " Valuable to whom? "

" Worthless for what? " It sounds like you're assessing your value or

worthlessness to your friend. Are you valuable to yourself? Is your

friend valuable to you? What determines your value to yourself, or your

friend's value to you?

> " Some things make me valuable " is an idea in my mind. Then the

> opposite must also be the case: " Some things make me worthless " . I

> have a degree of worth/worthlessness.

Well, all I see is that they're both ideas in my mind. That doesn't

make either one of them true.

> The truth of " I am valuable " maybe is that " I am valuable beyond

> measure " . Nothing can make me more or less valuable.

>

> Suggestions?

I am valuable to me.

How do I know? Because I go to such lengths to preserve and protect my

life.

I am worthless to me.

How do I know? Because I often ignore how I'm feeling and what I'm

wanting. I often abandon myself to get into someone else's business.

The mind will find evidence for the belief it's holding. Which belief

do I want to hold? Which belief brings me peace? Which belief is kinder

to me?

Tom

[Guest guest]

> I am valuable to me.

>

> How do I know? Because I go to such lengths to preserve and protect

my

> life.

>

> I am worthless to me.

>

> How do I know? Because I often ignore how I'm feeling and what I'm

> wanting. I often abandon myself to get into someone else's business.

>

> The mind will find evidence for the belief it's holding. Which

belief

> do I want to hold? Which belief brings me peace? Which belief is

kinder

> to me?

So, here again

there is no such thing as truth (tought),

choise the peacfull thought, (I am not worthless)

force yourself (sometimes it feels like that)

on finding reasons why it could be as true or truer,

and hope that when the stresfull thought will come again

(I am worthless)

you wouldn't attach to her.

Do you realy want to know the truth...

M- N- I- P- U- L- A- T- I- O- N

I sent this question to

waiting for her answer

Thank you Tom

>

> Tom

[Guest guest]

Dear ,

Inner Bondings could be helpul to you, I don't know.

And my thoughts about what you wrote:

> My thing is feeling worthless.

>

> I am worthless.

> -Is it true? I can't know for sure.

Hold it and stay in that place for a moment.

We attach to thoughts that make us feel miserable, and we don't even

know if they are true.

> It is only true in the sense

> that it's my own opinion. My story: My friend walks away and I think

> it means that I am worthless. I think I have proof.

And can you really *know* that? They just walk where they need to walk.

Have you ever walked away from anyone? Did you feel he was worthless?

And of course attaching to this thought *makes* you feel worthless.

It's *supposed* to, it's his job. That is what the thought is for.

Look at how do you treat your *friends* when you have that thought?

They can't even leave the room without your permission.

And who would you be without it? - *All* of your friends have walked

away, and you can not think that thought. How do you feel?

> TA: I am valuable.

straight TA of " I am worthless " : I am *not* worthless. - Could that be

*as* true?

And try to put " my thinking " in it.

> -Hmm, in a sense it is also true. It is the other side of the same

> coin. If I look deep I see that sometimes I do feel valuable. My

> story: My friend comes to me. I think it means that I am valuable.

> Now I get away from feeling worthless. I'm using the opposite story.

Yes, because he walks to you. You never had a problem with that, I

would keep it.

As long as your friends are not supposed to leave the room, in order

not to hurt you, your work is not done.

> " Some things make me valuable " is an idea in my mind. Then the

> opposite must also be the case: " Some things make me worthless " . I

> have a degree of worth/worthlessness.

Yes, it is the case: this is also an idea in your mind. - And is it

true? How can *anything* *make* you worthless?

> The truth of " I am valuable " maybe is that " I am valuable beyond

> measure " . Nothing can make me more or less valuable.

How does it feel? To you.

> Suggestions?

>

> Love,

>

Love,

[Guest guest]

Dear ,

> > I am worthless.

> > -Is it true? I can't know for sure.

> Hold it and stay in that place for a moment.

> We attach to thoughts that make us feel miserable, and we don't

even

> know if they are true.

****Yes, I can see that now. I feel worthless only when I hold that

thought. It's my opinion. The problem is I don't want to have that

opinion. I want to get rid of the feeling/thoughts/opinion that I am

worthless, because it stops me from doing what I want/being

myself/being free. But I can't get rid of it!

> > It is only true in the sense

> > that it's my own opinion. My story: My friend walks away and I

think

> > it means that I am worthless. I think I have proof.

> And can you really *know* that? They just walk where they need to

walk.

> Have you ever walked away from anyone? Did you feel he was

worthless?

****LOL! Yes, of course! I walked away becuse it wasn't right for me

to be there. I needed to be somewhere else. Maybe I felt the

situation/person couldn't give me what I wanted. But that doesn't

mean *he* is worthless.

> And of course attaching to this thought *makes* you feel

worthless.

> It's *supposed* to, it's his job. That is what the thought is for.

****Why? Why do I " use " these thoughts to make me feel bad? I don't

want to feel bad.

> Look at how do you treat your *friends* when you have that

thought?

> They can't even leave the room without your permission.

****True, I try to be nice to them so they'll stay and see me as

valuable. If I succeed I feel better, if not, I feel bad.

Manipulation!

> And who would you be without it? - *All* of your friends have

walked

> away, and you can not think that thought. How do you feel?

****Relaxed. Because I can let go. They just needed to go away,

because that's what they had to do. People always do what they have

to do. ... The question is: Now, what do I do?

That is also the reason my girlfriend left me. She needed to do that

for herself. But it still hurts. Because I think it means I'm

boring, can't ever have a relationship again etc. (lots to Work on!).

---Hmmm, Is it true that I am boring to be with? Well, it's more of

a reflection on the person. They are the ones that feel bored, not

me! And do I even know what they feel? No! She said I am boring.

Does that mean I am??? No, it just means that she said that. And she

said that because that's what she needed to do, for her own reasons.

> > TA: I am valuable.

> straight TA of " I am worthless " : I am *not* worthless. - Could

that be

> *as* true?

****That is more true. " I am not worthless " is the truth. Because " I

am worthless " is just a thought without basis. Somehow " I am

valuable " doesn't ring as true. It rests on the same basis as " I am

worthless " .

> And try to put " my thinking " in it.

****My thinking is worthless. Yes, it doesn't really serve me here!

> > story: My friend comes to me. I think it means that I am

valuable.

> > Now I get away from feeling worthless. I'm using the opposite

story.

> Yes, because he walks to you. You never had a problem with that, I

> would keep it.

****Yes, I wouldn't even be motivated to fix something if it wasn't

a problem, or that it might help fix another problem. Feeling

valuable doens't nescessarily have anything to do with feeling

worthless.

> > " Some things make me valuable " is an idea in my mind. Then the

> > opposite must also be the case: " Some things make me

worthless " . I

> > have a degree of worth/worthlessness.

> Yes, it is the case: this is also an idea in your mind. - And is

it

> true? How can *anything* *make* you worthless?

****True. Nothing can *make* me worthless, or valuable for that

matter. I just am.

> > The truth of " I am valuable " maybe is that " I am valuable beyond

> > measure " . Nothing can make me more or less valuable.

> How does it feel? To you.

****I like " I am " even better. I feel present. I feel free. Can't

put much words on this feeling.

Thanks ! Your post was very enlightening. It pinpointed

exactly the " untrue " thinking. I feel much clearer. Even though my

work is still not done. I feel good about continuing to do the work

on this and future situations.

Love,

[Guest guest]

Dear ,

Am 28.08.2004 um 12:57 schrieb peter3karlen:

> Dear ,

>

> > >  I am worthless.

> > >  -Is it true? I can't know for sure.

> > Hold it and stay in that place for a moment.

> > We attach to thoughts that make us feel miserable, and we don't

> even

> > know if they are true.

>

> ****Yes, I can see that now. I feel worthless only when I hold that

> thought. It's my opinion. The problem is I don't want to have that

> opinion. I want to get rid of the feeling/thoughts/opinion that I am

> worthless, because it stops me from doing what I want/being

> myself/being free. But I can't get rid of it!

Don't bother. You are not supposed to. Did you notice that it comes and

goes? That it's not always there?

> > > It is only true in the sense

> > > that it's my own opinion. My story: My friend walks away and I

> think

> > > it means that I am worthless. I think I have proof.

> > And can you really *know* that? They just walk where they need to

> walk.

> > Have you ever walked away from anyone? Did you feel he was

> worthless?

> ****LOL! Yes, of course! I walked away becuse it wasn't right for me

> to be there. I needed to be somewhere else. Maybe I felt the

> situation/person couldn't give me what I wanted. But that doesn't

> mean *he* is worthless.

Doesn't that feel *good*?

> > And of course attaching to this thought *makes* you feel worthless.

> > It's *supposed* to, it's his job. That is what the thought is for.

> ****Why? Why do I " use " these thoughts to make me feel bad? I don't

> want to feel bad.

You don't *use* them. They just appear. To be met with understanding.

When you feel worthless, do you notice how people look at you? Do they

give you " the " look?

How do you treat them, when they do? In your mind?

> > Look at how do you treat your *friends* when you have that thought?

> > They can't even leave the room without your permission.

> ****True, I try to be nice to them so they'll stay and see me as

> valuable. If I succeed I feel better, if not, I feel bad.

> Manipulation!

Good find.

> > And who would you be without it? - *All* of your friends have

> walked

> > away, and you can not think that thought. How do you feel?

> ****Relaxed. Because I can let go. They just needed to go away,

> because that's what they had to do. People always do what they have

> to do. ... The question is: Now, what do I do?

Whatever comes to you.

Has there ever, in your whole life, been a moment when you did *not*

know what to do? What did you do, then?

" I wouldn't know what to do! " - It's a *very* common thought, *very*

old. And is it true? Turn it around.

> That is also the reason my girlfriend left me. She needed to do that

> for herself.But it still hurts. Because I think it means I'm

> boring, can't ever have a relationship again etc. (lots to Work on!).

Well, " I would be happier *now* if she had not left me *then* " - Can

you know that? And is it true that she left you? How often did she do

that? And how often did you play it in your mind? Who is the expert

when it comes to leaving you? How do you live your life, when you think

that thought? Who would you be without it?

And can you really *know* that she will never come back?

" I would be happier *now* if she had not left me *then* " - turn it

around.

> ---Hmmm, Is it true that I am boring to be with? Well, it's more of

> a reflection on the person. They are the ones that feel bored, not

> me! And do I even know what they feel? No! She said I am boring.

> Does that mean I am??? No, it just means that she said that. And she

> said that because that's what she needed to do, for her own reasons.

>

> > >  TA: I am valuable.

> > straight TA of " I am worthless " : I am *not* worthless. - Could

> that be

> > *as* true?

>

> ****That is more true. " I am not worthless " is the truth. Because " I

> am worthless " is just a thought without basis. Somehow " I am

> valuable " doesn't ring as true. It rests on the same basis as " I am

> worthless " .

>

> > And try to put " my thinking " in it.

>

> ****My thinking is worthless. Yes, it doesn't really serve me here!

Especially when it comes to what it means when people walk out of the

room! Give them a life, for sake! ;-)

> > >  story: My friend comes to me. I think it means that I am

> valuable.

> > >  Now I get away from feeling worthless. I'm using the opposite

> story.

> > Yes, because he walks to you. You never had a problem with that, I

> > would keep it.

>

> ****Yes, I wouldn't even be motivated to fix something if it wasn't

> a problem, or that it might help fix another problem. Feeling

> valuable doens't nescessarily have anything to do with feeling

> worthless.

>

> > >  " Some things make me valuable " is an idea in my mind. Then the

> > >  opposite must also be the case: " Some things make me

> worthless " . I

> > >  have a degree of worth/worthlessness.

> > Yes, it is the case: this is also an idea in your mind. - And is it

> > true? How can *anything* *make* you worthless?

>

> ****True. Nothing can *make* me worthless, or valuable for that

> matter. I just am.

>

> > >  The truth of " I am valuable " maybe is that " I am valuable beyond

> > >  measure " . Nothing can make me more or less valuable.

> > How does it feel? To you.

> ****I like " I am " even better. I feel present. I feel free. Can't

> put much words on this feeling.

>

>

> Thanks ! Your post was very enlightening. It pinpointed

> exactly the " untrue " thinking. I feel much clearer.

> Even though my work is still not done.

Dear , can you *know* that? It's *old* mythology. Turn it around,

and stay with it for a moment.

> I feel good about continuing to do the work

> on this and future situations.

Good, and have a wounderful time!

> Love,

>

Love,