New to the group..

[Guest guest]

Hello,

I am new to this board and wanted to introduce myself. I am a 26

year old grad student in psychology currently residing in Los

Angeles area. After years of therapy and starting the road to become

a therapist myself, I believe I finally have put a name to the

insanity I experienced as a child. While she has not been formally

diagnosed, I truly believe that my mother has borderline personality

disorder, or at the very least, strong BPD traits. I remember a

childhood of parentification, manipulation and emotional emptiness.

My mother could never understand my anger, sadness and despair, nor

would she acknowldege it. My father was as distant and aloof as a

person could get without actually stepping out the picture. I was

made to listen to my mother's constant musings about her private

affairs, gossip and general terror about the world at large. I could

sense her resentment of my abilities and my comfort with people (a

comfort she herself could not develop no matter how hard she tried).

She constantly demanded attention and gratitude for the great life

she was giving me (IE a life with lots of material and financial

perks, but a life secretly devoted to making up for her horrible

childhood). I finally confronted her with just a small amount of the

information I had finally been able to articulate in terms of her

abuse (after months of a slow, painful separation, individuation

process) and she told me she didn't want to speak to me and hung up

on me.

The two months without her have been the best two months of my life.

Not having to worry about her issues, her fears and her manipulative

tendencies has been a breath of fresh air and a freedom unlike

anything else I have ever experienced. I have been in contact with

my father though and he has begun to pester me about when I will

speak with her again (she says that she " misses " me and that she is

totally bewildered about why I am not in her life).

I am feeling now confused and sad myself, given that I feel a sort

of obligation to try and resolve this, and yet it seems like such a

moot point, given that she wouldn't acknowledge my issues with her.

Thank you for listening to me vent about my situation. I would

welcome any feedback from those who have been through the similar

experience of " escaping " and dealing with the aftermath. How does one

confront such a situation or person?

Thanks and well wishes to you all out there.