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Re: Re: Digest Number 1290/Tom

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Hi Tom,

I wonder, how can we know the difference between

perception and projection? Is projection always

combined with negative emotions whereas

perception is not?

For instance, there really are people who are

very aggressive, moody, dishonest or whatever,

aren't there? So, when I recognize that a person

is aggressive, for instance, that doesn't always

mean that I am just projecting that, right?

On the other hand, if I think of a person as

aggressive and that thought makes me become angry

or upset, then I am projecting?

Eva Elli

--- Tom Barron schrieb:

---------------------------------

On Sun, Feb 08, 2004 at 01:27:47PM -0000,

dee_barbara_mckellar wrote:

> ...

> yourself, as you can't know what another is

thinking ~ even by their

> actions). So if someone attacks you verbally or

physically, it is

> always about the 'projection' they made of

their thoughts about

> themself.

>

> Dunno if that's as clear as mud, or ....

>

> Hope someone else can add to all this ?

Hi, Barbara. I think you're doing great. Your

words remind me of a

meeting I was in a couple of months ago at work.

At the time, my work

group consisted of eight guys, including the

supervisor. There had

been a conflict going on between the supervisor

and one of the newer

group members and the supervisor called this

meeting. My perception

during the meeting was that he was trying to

clear the air, get

everyone's feelings out in the open, and clear

things up so the group

could move forward. I tried to be as present as I

could, responding as

honestly as I knew how, and offering ideas as

they came to me.

The meeting ended when the supervisor and the new

group member locked

horns over what was to be discussed next. The new

member seemed to

feel he had been accused unjustly and wanted to

defend himself, but

the supervisor said he was not willing to discuss

that particular

issue further and got up and left the room.

Later, talking to other members of the group,

they told me that they

had all felt attacked by the supervisor in the

meeting. I wondered if

I had not felt attacked because I was projecting

something different.

They also questioned his intentions in calling

the meeting. It seemed

clear to me that he had gone into the meeting

with the best of

intentions. Now I'm thinking that perhaps that

was my projection also.

Thanks for being here, Barbara and Elli. I

appreciate the

contributions both of you make.

love,

Tom

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People usually project onto others the disowned parts of themselves. For

instance, a meek acting woman is more likely to project her denied anger

onto another person than a woman who felt comfortable with her own anger.

The Work addresses a great deal of denied and disowned parts in the people

who study it--the most disowned part of most people is their divinity.

Eddie

>

>Reply-To: Loving-what-is

>To: Loving-what-is

>Subject: Re: Re: Digest Number 1290/Tom

>Date: Sun, 8 Feb 2004 18:14:02 +0100 (CET)

>

>Hi Tom,

>

>I wonder, how can we know the difference between

>perception and projection? Is projection always

>combined with negative emotions whereas

>perception is not?

>

>For instance, there really are people who are

>very aggressive, moody, dishonest or whatever,

>aren't there? So, when I recognize that a person

>is aggressive, for instance, that doesn't always

>mean that I am just projecting that, right?

>

>On the other hand, if I think of a person as

>aggressive and that thought makes me become angry

>or upset, then I am projecting?

>

>Eva Elli

>

>

>

> --- Tom Barron schrieb:

>

>---------------------------------

>On Sun, Feb 08, 2004 at 01:27:47PM -0000,

>dee_barbara_mckellar wrote:

> > ...

> > yourself, as you can't know what another is

>thinking ~ even by their

> > actions). So if someone attacks you verbally or

>physically, it is

> > always about the 'projection' they made of

>their thoughts about

> > themself.

> >

> > Dunno if that's as clear as mud, or ....

> >

> > Hope someone else can add to all this ?

>

>Hi, Barbara. I think you're doing great. Your

>words remind me of a

>meeting I was in a couple of months ago at work.

>At the time, my work

>group consisted of eight guys, including the

>supervisor. There had

>been a conflict going on between the supervisor

>and one of the newer

>group members and the supervisor called this

>meeting. My perception

>during the meeting was that he was trying to

>clear the air, get

>everyone's feelings out in the open, and clear

>things up so the group

>could move forward. I tried to be as present as I

>could, responding as

>honestly as I knew how, and offering ideas as

>they came to me.

>

>The meeting ended when the supervisor and the new

>group member locked

>horns over what was to be discussed next. The new

>member seemed to

>feel he had been accused unjustly and wanted to

>defend himself, but

>the supervisor said he was not willing to discuss

>that particular

>issue further and got up and left the room.

>

>Later, talking to other members of the group,

>they told me that they

>had all felt attacked by the supervisor in the

>meeting. I wondered if

>I had not felt attacked because I was projecting

>something different.

>They also questioned his intentions in calling

>the meeting. It seemed

>clear to me that he had gone into the meeting

>with the best of

>intentions. Now I'm thinking that perhaps that

>was my projection also.

>

>Thanks for being here, Barbara and Elli. I

>appreciate the

>contributions both of you make.

>

>love,

>Tom

>

>

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> Hi Tom,

>

> I wonder, how can we know the difference between

> perception and projection? Is projection always

> combined with negative emotions whereas

> perception is not?

Hi, Eva Elli. I wonder if there's a difference between perception and

projection? :) Your words suggest to me that maybe there is a

difference and I just have no way of knowing what the difference is.

> For instance, there really are people who are

> very aggressive, moody, dishonest or whatever,

> aren't there? So, when I recognize that a person

> is aggressive, for instance, that doesn't always

> mean that I am just projecting that, right?

Well, I don't know. What I've observed is that when I respond calmly,

even people who appear upset and agressive tend to calm down. When I

respond with anxiety or anger or upset, the person I'm responding to

tends to get anxious or angry or upset.

When I'm feeling peaceful, the trees I see around me are beautiful and

serene. When I'm upset, the trees are dark and threatening. Replace

" trees " with " people " , " buildings " , " clouds " , " weather " , " rocks " ,

" computers " , anything. They all work. The world seems to be a mirror

of my mind.

As far as I can tell, my experience seems to be entirely determined by

how I take in what comes to me. If I receive it as a threat and become

fearful, my experience is fear. Oftentimes, for me, fear leads to

anger, and then my experience is anger. If I receive what comes as a

gift from the hand of God, all I experience is love.

> On the other hand, if I think of a person as

> aggressive and that thought makes me become angry

> or upset, then I am projecting?

That seems accurate to me. It also seems accurate to me to say that if

I think of a person as loving and kind and that thought makes me feel

loving and kind, then I am projecting. When I say something seems

accurate to me, that doesn't mean it's true, though. :)

It seems to me that I perceive what I project. And your experience may

be different.

Thank you for writing to me, Eva Elli.

love,

Tom

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Hi Tom,

Thank you very much for your reply.

I appreciate what you wrote and I understand some

of it. A lot of what you wrote is very difficult

for me to understand...

but maybe one day I will. :)

Thanks again.

Eva

--- Tom Barron schrieb:

---------------------------------

On Sun, Feb 08, 2004 at 06:14:02PM +0100, Elli

wrote:

> Hi Tom,

>

> I wonder, how can we know the difference

between

> perception and projection? Is projection always

> combined with negative emotions whereas

> perception is not?

Hi, Eva Elli. I wonder if there's a difference

between perception and

projection? :) Your words suggest to me that

maybe there is a

difference and I just have no way of knowing what

the difference is.

> For instance, there really are people who are

> very aggressive, moody, dishonest or whatever,

> aren't there? So, when I recognize that a

person

> is aggressive, for instance, that doesn't

always

> mean that I am just projecting that, right?

Well, I don't know. What I've observed is that

when I respond calmly,

even people who appear upset and agressive tend

to calm down. When I

respond with anxiety or anger or upset, the

person I'm responding to

tends to get anxious or angry or upset.

When I'm feeling peaceful, the trees I see around

me are beautiful and

serene. When I'm upset, the trees are dark and

threatening. Replace

" trees " with " people " , " buildings " , " clouds " ,

" weather " , " rocks " ,

" computers " , anything. They all work. The world

seems to be a mirror

of my mind.

As far as I can tell, my experience seems to be

entirely determined by

how I take in what comes to me. If I receive it

as a threat and become

fearful, my experience is fear. Oftentimes, for

me, fear leads to

anger, and then my experience is anger. If I

receive what comes as a

gift from the hand of God, all I experience is

love.

> On the other hand, if I think of a person as

> aggressive and that thought makes me become

angry

> or upset, then I am projecting?

That seems accurate to me. It also seems accurate

to me to say that if

I think of a person as loving and kind and that

thought makes me feel

loving and kind, then I am projecting. When I say

something seems

accurate to me, that doesn't mean it's true,

though. :)

It seems to me that I perceive what I project.

And your experience may

be different.

Thank you for writing to me, Eva Elli.

love,

Tom

Mit schönen Grüßen von Yahoo! Mail - http://mail.yahoo.de

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