Re: Depression/guilt

[Guest guest]

/me raises her hand. I have depression too that seems to go in almost a bipolar cycle. However the term bipolar seems to serious for me and makes me feel inadequate so I just say im depressed

I take 40mg of celexa well wait i used to i haven't since AUgust. I should again huh? see now im rambling, lol sorry ok im shutting uplol

Re: Depression/guilt

Which do you all think come first--the depression or the Asperger's? I struggled all my life with mood disorders and have family members with depression and bi-polar disorder--I think I've read these things run in the same familes that spectrum disorders do.My thing is that I feel so guilty because my depression and my social anxiety get in the way of me being a good advocate for my son. Luckily, my husband is a real tiger--but he's not as sensitive to my son's difficulties as I am. Together we make a good team, but i often feel bad about not addressing my son's needs as much as I would like and that guilt fuels my depression. It could be a neverending cycle, if I let it.Are there a lot of people onlist with depression?Wilma>

[Guest guest]

Which do you all think come first--the depression or the Asperger's?

I struggled all my life with mood disorders and have family members

with depression and bi-polar disorder--I think I've read these things

run in the same familes that spectrum disorders do.

My thing is that I feel so guilty because my depression and my

social anxiety get in the way of me being a good advocate for my son.

Luckily, my husband is a real tiger--but he's not as sensitive to my

son's difficulties as I am. Together we make a good team, but i often

feel bad about not addressing my son's needs as much as I would like

and that guilt fuels my depression. It could be a neverending cycle,

if I let it.

Are there a lot of people onlist with depression?

Wilma

>

[Guest guest]

I personally think the Aspergers

can really make a person depressed and hard on themselves for not being able to

“mind over matter” the deal and “be normal”. “If I just work hard enough on

myself, then I can fit in with the rest of the pack.”

I have struggled with self esteem and

depression my entire life for being “out of step” and feeling “socially

inept”. I always felt like I

just didn’t know how to do it and always felt like I was doing it wrong.

I always thought it was bc I was raised in a

dysfunctional, abusive home. I

worked very hard to overcome my childhood and be responsible for myself and my

feelings as an adult. i.e. get out of the victim mode.

I found it very interesting when Trevor

was 3 yo that I felt like I was watching a “mini-me”. The way he was responding to his world

was JUST THE SAME as I had responded when I was his age. My home is way different than that which

I was raised so it couldn’t be environmental for my son. What was it?

I took Trevor off the sugars because I had

already discovered that I felt

better off the sugars. My

depression, anxiety, fear, and anger evaporated when I ditched the sugars. Interesting thing here is that when I

cheat on sugars, I start to have panic attacks and little paranoia trips. I had a Psychotherapist tell me that

there is documentation in the literature linking sugars with Autism Spectrum

Disorders. Do I have undxed Aspergers? It is very possible.

The Behavioral Docs are going to test

Trevor for Aspergers in a couple of months. They told me they want him on the sugars

for the testing. If he is dxed with it, can I make a leap that I have it, too? I don’t know.

Until I ditched the sugars, I spent a lot

of time talking to my friends about my fears, anxieties, anger, etc. I struggled trying to find the line between

validating my feelings and reminding me that just because my brain told me

something was so didn’t mean that it actually was so. How could I validate myself and discount

myself at the same time? I tended

to take 2+2 and get 17 by reading between the lines.

I definitely feel much clearer now. My fears and anxieties don’t drive

my bus like they use to do. I don’t

take other peoples stuff personal like I use to do. Are these symptoms associated with Aspergers? I don’t

know. But they are things that I

see in my son when he is on sugar in addition to the other more extreme Aspergers symptoms.

Bec

Re:

Depression/guilt

Which do you all think come first--the depression or

the Asperger's?

I struggled all my life with mood disorders and

have family members

with depression and bi-polar disorder--I think

I've read these things

run in the same familes that spectrum disorders

do.

My thing is that I feel so guilty because my

depression and my

social anxiety get in the way of me being a good

advocate for my son.

Luckily, my husband is a real tiger--but

he's not as sensitive to my

son's difficulties as I am. Together we make a

good team, but i often

feel bad about not addressing my son's needs as

much as I would like

and that guilt fuels my depression. It could

be a neverending cycle,

if I let it.

Are there a lot of people onlist with depression?

Wilma

>

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[Guest guest]

Bec,

Your letter is very enlightening! I think many parents of Aspergers kids

realize they share some traits with their children. My husband was never

formally diagnosed, but, after his nephew was we researched the DX and saw

the traits in him and 2 of our kids. I have some, but, like you - related my

trouble to a childhood home filled with insecurities.

Have you noticed that your child especially craves sugar? I ask because

my children didn't have sugar until they were older than most kids, yet they

crave sugar constantly. My youngest especially has a problem with her

ability to cope after she has sugar, yet she'll do almost anything to get it!

I'd love to break the cycle. How do you manage to? We have a fairly healthy

diet otherwise: organic meats and grains, almost no dyes or artificial

flavors, yet the sugar is a problem.

Any ideas?

Peggy A

[Guest guest]

Which comes first, depression or aspergers? Good question!!!!!!!

I know my husband, who I believe has undiagnosed mild Aspergers and

undiagnosed depression (he absolutely refuses to go see a psych. Shoot, I

can barely get him to go to a regular doctor until he is so sick or in pain

he can't stand it anymore, but that is another topic.) Anyway, I digress.

I know that he suffers from bouts of depression, usually related to him

feeling powerless at work. When he can't have it " his way " he gets very

frustrated and angry, then goes in to deep moods. Now that I see everything

going on with my son, and how he needs to feel " in control " beause he feels

like his world is so out of control, I see why my husband gets so uptight

when he does not have control. So I see this as an Aspie thing. I think

the Aspergers definitely comes first, then the depression. If my husband

and son understood people and social situations better, they would not get

so depressed when they fail in these situations.

On the other hand, how about us folks that are living with the Aspies?

Until recently, I have always been a very upbeat, positive person. My

friend even used to tease me that I am too " Pollyannaish. " But lately,

(about the last 3 months, ever since school started back up and 's

problems multiplied....) I have been feeling very down. Sometimes I just

crawl in to bed at night and cry. This was not the way life was supposed to

turn out. I am a good mom, so why is my son doing so horribly at school?

(5 school suspensions, 1 bus suspension, more referrrals than I can count -

and he is only 6!!) Intellectualy, I know this is all because of the

Aspergers, and the school's inability to deal effectively with it and their

insistence that it is " behavioral. " But, deep down inside I feel like a

failure, and that is starting to send me in to depression. I am even

considering going on meds myself. Hate the thought of it, but my son needs

me to be clear headed and positive so I can continue to fight for him.

Obviously, his father is not going to be able to!!! So, again, the

Aspergers came first, which is leading to depression.

Thanks to whoever started this thread. It has really got me thinking this

morning!!

Debi

[Guest guest]

We deal with the same issues here. Sometimes I could just sit down and cry, but it probably would only give me a headache. I'm finding out that a whole lot of these "behavioral problems" can be linked directly back to bullying at school. I'm trying very hard to change the system for all kids, nobody benefits from bullying it affects the bully, the target and anyone unfortunate enough to be around to hear and see what is going on. Keep your chin up! Remember to cover all of your bases in writing, Most importantly take time for your self.

TALK TO YOU LATER

MELISSA

Protect your PC - Click here for McAfee.com VirusScan Online

[Guest guest]

Interesting thing about sugar, just a

little bit and I crave it, too. But

if I don’t have it period, nada, I don’t. Same with Trev, if he gets a little bit,

he wants more and more and more. He

starts sneaking it. I remember in

the beginning that Trevor was very upset when I removed the sugars from his

diet. He cried and begged. It took several weeks for me to get it

out of his diet without him begging.

I told him that I couldn’t have it

either. That seemed to help him

realizing that he wasn’t alone.

In fact he will say, “Why do you get to eat that and I don’t?”,

when I cheat. Soooo,

I try hard not to cheat. It can be

very difficult if one feels alone and deprived.

I decided that I didn’t want to

deprive either me or Trevor with out respective sweet tooth. I got creative with my pantry. I stocked it with good tasting foods

that are sweet tasting but don’t contain the sugars. You will have to read labels if you aren’t

already, sounds like you are.

In the beginning, it can be quite time

consuming. But once you realized

what foods are on the list and which ones aren’t it gets easier. I don’t spend 2 hours in the

grocery store anymore. The NO list

can be quite intimidating, but for our family it was definitely worth it to get

a relationship with Trevor AND to have me not so hypersensitive, anxious, or

fearful. As the commercial says, “I

have lived in both bodies and I prefer the view from here”. Knowing the difference in how I feel

motivates me to make sure that I don’t give Trevor foods that I know make

me feel bad, therefore likely make him feel bad, too. It really gave me a different perspective

on the entire deal.

On the No list…

Sugar, evaporated cane juice, honey, brown

rice syrup, “cane” anything, high fructose corn syrup, fructose,

dextrose, and glucose. Corn tends

to be a problem for Trevor. It is

sweet anyway – corn syrup. So

we avoid corn, maltodextrine, and corn starch. Milk and milk

products. Most fruits (they

are sweet, too). Most nuts cause

issues definitely almonds and peanuts.

Some people say that wheat and gluten

causes problems for their children. I tried an experiment with Trevor and

gluten. It doesn’t bring out

his symptoms. HOWEVER, most bakery

items contain milk products, corn products, and sugar of some sort. Is it really the wheat that bothers

these children or the “added” ingredients? Each family will have to be the judge of

that one. All I know is when I give

Trevor bakery items that do not contain the no list ingredients he is FINE with

wheat and gluten.

Interesting thought on milk products, all

of the carbs in milk are sugars. 23 grams of carbs

and 23 grams of sugars, no complex carbs, hmmmmm Is it the SUGAR in the milk that

causes Trevor and me the problem? Interesting query.

We have been on this diet to some degree

or another for the last 3 years so it isn’t as hard as it use to be. Over time, we have continued to remove

more foods from Trevors diet

when we learned they caused issues.

Now on to the list of things on the YES

list. I will include products that

I know work for us. Might help you

get started.

Do you have a large health and natural

foods store in your area? I am

assuming you have already found such since you eat organic anyway. They carry most of these foods. I found that Hen House and HyVee have a nice natural foods section that carries some

of them.

Meats

Applegates Turkey hot dogs, no sugars, no nitrates, etc. (the other hot

dogs they carry either have honey or sugar.)

Any fresh meat – turkey, beef,

chicken

Breads

Alvarado St Bakery Sprouted Barley Bread

Paine Becaure (sp?)

Champion Bread

Vans Dairy free / wheat free Apple Cinnamon

waffles (a staple in OUR house! – the others contain peach fruit sweetner)

We

put either sunflower butter (like peanut butter),

applesauce, or sugar free syrup on the waffles.

Nabisco Fat Free Premium Saltines (other

crackers have sugars)

Triskets (sp?)

Cereals

Barbara’s Brown Rice Crisps

Puffed Rice cereal

Cream of Rice hot cereal

Puffed Millet

Snacks

Quaker Lightly salted Rice Cakes

Kettle Chips (read labels several apply)

Garden of Eaten chips (read labels several apply) – my favorites

Sugar free Voortmans

Cookie Wafers (staple item, Trev LOVES these)

Rice Dream Ice Cream (I don’t give

him much since it contains Brown Rice Syprup. Also, the rest of the day he only gets 1

fruit instead of 2.)

Milks

Rice Dream Original Enriched (contains

calcium, vit A, vit D) {the

others contain brown rice syrup)

I don’t know about soy milks since I

can’t do soy I didn’t even look

Peanut Butter Knock

offs

Hazelnut Butter

Sunflower Butter

(The others cause Trevor problems – watch

for the sugars content)

{For a PB & J, I put mashed pears or

applesauce on the sandwich. Trev

loves this. It is just a new “jelly”

for him.)

Fruits

Apples

Pears

Only

Same for juices, watch ingredients

(We limit Trevor to 2 fruits a day, if

gone unchecked he will eat 5 bananas, an apple, and a couple of pears a day)

You can find canned fruits that are in

natural fruit juices only.

Applesauce comes with no added sugars

Frozen Entrees

Read the labels at the health food store

Amy’s carries a nice variety of

dairy free, wheat free entrees. Read

the labels for added sugars.

Baking items

Since I get migraines from corn, we avoid

ALL corns even in baking items.

Baking powder and salt contains corn

starch. You can find it without if

you want to go there.

En-R-G Rice Mix (another staple for us –

has some nice sugar free recipes on the box, since it has orange juice in it, watch

the fruit intake during the rest of the day)

Sugar free cake (tastes pretty good, even

my picky hubby likes like, tastes like corn bread)

Sugar free banana bread

Oils

Any oil that isn’t vegetable or corn

oil

Flax oil instead of butter or margarine

(tastes pretty similar, don’t use for baking too

sweet)

Sweeteners

Stevia (health food store)

Fruit sweeteners (applesauce makes a good

sweetener)

Frozen concentrated apple juice for the

En-R-G Rice Mix recipes.

We went Trick or Treating for Halloween. Trevor was so excited. We gave out little trinket toys. Trevor knew that there would likely not

be any candy he could eat. He was

excited at the thought of giving Daddy the candy. He would say, “I can’t eat

that but it is for my Daddy.”

He loves giving the candy to Daddy.

We really don’t have much in the house he can’t eat. keeps his goodies at work. keeps a couple of things here for

treats.

Mostly we eat what my mother in law

affectionately calls, real food; Grilled meat, rice or potatoes, and vegetables

with flax oil.

**************************************************

Some readers may think, “OMG, this

woman is over the edge. She has

completely stripped sugar from her child’s diet. I can never do that. It is too inconvenient, too time consuming,

and I don’t think it will work anyway. She just is an over the top obsessed nut.”

All I can say is that several family

members thought this and said some of it until they decided they felt sorry for

Trevor and gave him a REAL treat. Now they believe me. Give it a try for 2-3 weeks. If you don’t notice any

improvements in your child resume their regular diet.

Do I think that diet CURES ASD? No, I still see some mild symptoms with

Trevor off sugars. But OMG! He is a new kid. I never had this type of relationship

with him before. I feel like I have

a new kid. He can tell the difference. I ask him if he feels better. He says yes. According to the docs, off the sugars he

falls into the “questionable” category of ASD. He was previously in the High

Functioning Aspergers category.

Good luck, Peggy. I would be interested to know how it

works for your daughter.

Bec

Re: Depression/guilt

Bec,

Your letter is very

enlightening! I think many parents of Aspergers kids

realize they share some traits with their

children. My husband was never

formally diagnosed, but, after his nephew was we

researched the DX and saw

the traits in him and 2 of our kids. I have some,

but, like you - related my

trouble to a childhood home filled with

insecurities.

Have you noticed that your

child especially craves sugar? I ask because

my children didn't have sugar until they were

older than most kids, yet they

crave sugar constantly. My youngest

especially has a problem with her

ability to cope after she has sugar, yet she'll do

almost anything to get it!

I'd love to break the cycle. How do you manage to?

We have a fairly healthy diet otherwise: organic meats and grains, almost no dyes or

artificial flavors, yet the sugar is a problem.

Any ideas?

Peggy A

[Guest guest]

Wilma, I spent yesterday in ER with my DH so I am just getting around to

reading my mail. Bipolar, depression, ADHD, scizophrenia run on my mother

side of the family. My husband's kids from his first marriage have their

share of ADHD and depression with one boy that leaves a big question mark

about whether he might be on the autism sprectrum. My DH mom dumped him

when he was little and never would keep in contact with him when he grew up.

He was her only child, her only " mistake " . From what he remembers of his

grandparents when he visited them as a teenager, they were not at all even

friendly let alone loving. I have often wondered if the autism comes from

this side of the family. His mom was married 5 times and had only one child

that she abandoned. My totally dyfunctional family may have mood disorders

but we keep our kids in the family. She was a cold woman who never gave an

iota of care about her only child or her grandchildren but on the one

occassion that I met her, she had lots of pictures of her brother's children

out. None that I had sent her of her own grandchildren.

So this family most assurdely does know all about depression and about

bipolar. My daughter leaves almost all the work to me when it comes to the

boys' IEPs, their psychiatrist appointments and mental health appoitments.

She has begun to go with me to 's IEP meetings and she says she has to

bit her tongue to keep from telling some people off. I know they are

starting to listen to her. None of the men in the family help with any of

these. Neither grandpa or either of her two ex-husbands. To them that is

woman's business or else they are just to scared of the educators.

You keep on working with your husband as an advocate for your son and you

probably will be a lot better at it as you learn more. You might even find

yourself helping others as an advocate. (o;

Betty

grandma and guardian to

- 11 yo-- Bipolar/ADHD on Depakote, Adderall, Omega 3's

Evan - 8 yo nonverbal autism on 3 mg Risperdal

- 6 - Bipolar/ADHD/RAD/PTSD on Tegretol, Adderall, clondine .1 mg,

Omega 3's

mother to , their mom - Bipolar/ADHD on Topamax

wife to Bob too many meds to remember

----- Original Message -----

> Which do you all think come first--the depression or the Asperger's?

> I struggled all my life with mood disorders and have family members

> with depression and bi-polar disorder--I think I've read these things

> run in the same familes that spectrum disorders do.

>

> My thing is that I feel so guilty because my depression and my

> social anxiety get in the way of me being a good advocate for my son.

> Luckily, my husband is a real tiger--but he's not as sensitive to my

> son's difficulties as I am. Together we make a good team, but i often

> feel bad about not addressing my son's needs as much as I would like

> and that guilt fuels my depression. It could be a neverending cycle,

> if I let it.

>

> Are there a lot of people onlist with depression?

>

> Wilma