Re: wanting to eat less and losing weight

[Guest guest]

I wanted to eat less... or lose weight

While doing the work

I have discovered that I am not suppose to eat

less or weight less

simply because I dont.

Help with the turn around

I want to eat less food

T.A

I dont want to eat less food (who am I kiding here?)

My thinking is... (HELP)

[FB] You wanted to eat less; is it true? If you really wanted to eat less,

what prevented you from doing it? uses an example where she says she

wants to stand up. " No, really, I want to stand up " (all the while sitting).

Then after sufficient attempts to convince us that she wants to stand up,

she finally stands up and says " Now, it's true. "

Apparently you have a commitment to eat less. You also have another

conflicting commitment that has you eating as much as you do. Honoring what

is means being aware of both of those.

[FB] -

[Guest guest]

> Thing that I wanted to change in myself is:

>

> I wanted to eat less... or lose weight

>

> While doing the work I have discovered that I am not suppose to eat

> less or weight less simply because I dont.

>

> Help with the turn around

>

> I want to eat less food

>

> T.A

>

> I dont want to eat less food (who am I kiding here?)

>

> My thinking is... (HELP)

>

>

> Another way of looking at it is

>

> If I would lose weight and have the perfect body

> would I be happy????

>

> maybe not, but still

> I have this desire to lose a few kg.

*****Hi Tami ~ I think 's earlier post points out the conflict

succinctly: there are two desires, one to lose weight, one to

continue eating in the manner that you have been up to now.

Apparently the latter is more powerful. At the moment. It may

change in the next moment.

Perhaps part of the difficulty lies in an unclarity about *why* the

weight " should " come off. The thoughts you express remind me of my

story. I too lusted after a good body (if not the perfect one).

Why? For health reasons? No. In order to fill an emptiness that

was felt throughout my life. I'll elaborate.

For 25 years I maintained a " chucky " (but muscular) bodyweight of 188-

194 lb, and had a body image which wanted to be 155-160 lb. (and

still keep most of the muscle, of course! Hahaha!!!)

I was continually lusting after the lower body weight, all the while

eating excessive amounts of calories. I exercised addictively to

keep the weight at a ceiling of 195 lb...otherwise, with my eating

habits I would have balloned up over 200, easily!

As I said above, for me, losing the weight, attaining the body that I

desired, had nothing to do with health issues. There was an

underlying belief that worked something like this:

" if Andy looks like this, then Andy will get love, approval, respect,

admiration [in a word: chicks!]. "

Empowering the relentless desire to lose weight was this unclear,

fuzzy, but persistent sense that by LOOKING a certain way, a

particular kind of lifestyle and emotional environment would be

engendered. It was subtle and resisted being looked at, confronted,

directly. The closer I attempted to SEE it, the more unclear and

distorted it became. Very frustrating! For 25 years this powerful

tale continued. It drove much of my life, not just the eating part,

but the exercise aspect too. And the choice of a partner. And a

whole host of other life choices which I am probably not conscious of

as well.

I knew all the " right " reasons to lose weight: health, longevity,

vitality, etc. I had read dozens of sane, reasonable books about the

dangers of eating the amount of junk food that I was daily

consuming. And still, because of the pull of that story, I was

absolutely helpless to change anything. Even coming down with cancer

didn't alter my diet. Throughout my chemotheraphy treatment I ate

voluminous amounts of junk food (on top of a very healthy diet).

Unlike many cancer patients, I actually put ON weight during

treatment. It seems that to change the eating pattern, the story had

to end, the investment in the myth had to cease.

And that did happen. Quite on its own. In May of last year, the

turnaround occurred. No work was *specifically* done to achieve it.

But in the fairness of " full disclosure, " I shoudl add that at the

time I had been doing [for more than three years at that point]

serious inquiry into the nature of thought. It was not focused at

all on eating habits or even specific underlying belief structures.

But it was a daily and ongoing investigation that involved meditation

and something similar, but not identical, to The Work. No special

training or diet exercises were followed. There was no forced

effort.

So had did the eating habits change? What happened? It (the

underlying tape which 'held' the belief surrounding the self image)

just ceased to function. I awoke one morning and the decision HAD

BEEN MADE. (Notice I didn't say that " I " had " made " it. It just

happened.) The rest proceeded smoothly...the eating habits changed,

virtually all the junk food was eliminated, and the weight came off,

effortless, without hunger or a sense of deprivation. But this

alteration in behavior happened without any neurotic drive to achieve

or get something (other than the immediate benefits of eating without

compulsion...in a word, sanity). Nine months later and 33 lb light,

the weight is still coming off, more slowly perhaps, but I'm

still " shrinking. " :-)))

I thus invite you to investigate the stories, myths, beliefs, that

underlie you desire to lose weight. How do you think your life will

change for the better? What is lacking in it now (other than the

peace you would have if you weren't in contention with yourself to

lose the weight)? Are you (like I was) operating out of a belief

that IF you look a particular way, you will GET something from someone

(s) outside yourself that will be dependent on your looking or

weighing a specific weight, having a certain type of body? Are any

of these thoughts valid?

Good luck!

[Guest guest]

>

> Apparently you have a commitment to eat less. You also have another

> conflicting commitment that has you eating as much as you do.

******What do you mean ?

I have one will which is to eat less

and another is to eat the way I do (because that is what happening)

Please explain what do you mean

by saying:

Honoring what

> is means being aware of both of those.

[Guest guest]

* Apparently you have a commitment to eat less. You also have another

> conflicting commitment that has you eating as much as you do.

******What do you mean ?

I have one will which is to eat less

and another is to eat the way I do (because that is what happening)

* Yes, exactly. If you really want to eat less, what happened? Are you

suggesting that something/someone forced you to eat against your will?

Please explain what do you mean

by saying:

Honoring what

> is means being aware of both of those.

[FB] Honoring " What Is " means being aware of both. You appear to be aware of

the voice which says " I want to eat less " and unaware of the voice that, for

whatever reason, says " I desire to eat. " The first step to addressing this

conflict is to recognize that it is there. By distinguishing the " voice "

which wants to eat you can get to know it, look for what it thinks eating

will provide for it, see if eating will actually provide those things, look

for how you can gain it's cooperation or satisfaction. It's a place to

inquire.

-

_____