Re: doing the work with anxiety attacks...

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

And welcome. Most of us are here because we want to make a difference with

others, so it's certainly not a problem that you only post rarely. I'm just

glad that you're here looking at this.

When looking at anxiety there is something that you are not willing to

experience, something you would deny its existence; that's the place to look

for " workable " sentences. I'll take a stab at some that might be there:

* I don't have a choice. I'm trapped.

* I love my kids.

* My kids are precious to me.

o Now I'm not suggesting that you're a bad mommy or that you don't

care about your kids. But when you say that sometimes you can't remember how

precious they are to you that sounds like you're trying to pretend that they

are precious to you, when, in the moment, they aren't at all. They are a

burden, a burden that has you feeling trapped and helpless and overwhelmed.

There's nothing wrong with you feeling this way . I hear that you would

like to deny those feelings their existence and push them out of your

awareness. This causes stress. It comes from a stand that there is something

wrong here. There's something wrong with me and I shouldn't feel the way I

do. Is that really true?

o Being the father of a baby was the hardest job I ever did. They need

so much care, so much attention, so much stuff. I had some resentment that

my life had become centered on her needs. What about me? What about my

needs? I felt like a beast of burden.

o One of the only things that tempered my resolve to get through it

was remembering Maharishi Mahesh Yogi saying that when you have children you

pay your karmic debt to your parents. That makes sense. My parents had gone

through that for me, now here I was.

* One place to look is for underlying meanings. If _____ is true, it

means ______.

o If I acknowledge resenting what I have to go through for my kids, it

means that I am a bad person, a defective woman.

o If I don't take my kids to the museum it means ________

* Panic comes from projecting yourself into an imagined future and

then resisting (in your thinking) the future you have projected yourself

into. Work on getting clearly what those projections are; distinguish them;

get them down on paper, and then look at them with the four questions.

* Another place to look is at " The Worst that Could Happen. " If you

give in to the situation as it is, what's the worst that could happen? And

if you had that, then what would be present? Just go ahead and let the

thinking mind have it's life on paper. Instead of suppressing it and running

from it, turn around and look it in the face. Invite it to do it's worst.

" Hit me with your best shot. Let's see just how horrible you can be. " You'll

survive, I promise. And I imagine you'll end up seeing through a paper

dragon.

What you're dealing with in panic attacks is a desire to contract in the

face of an imagined outcome. You may or may not have control over the

outcome, but you do have control over contracting or not. It is the

contraction that hurts. The more you can look, without contracting, just

allowing, the freer and more peaceful you will be.

Links of possible interest:

http://groups.msn.com/spearesWeb/thelazymansguidetoenlightenment.msnw

http://groups.msn.com/spearesWeb/confrontingthetiger.msnw

Here's an idea for you. There are people all over the place who remember

what a struggle it is to raise small children; people who want to contribute

and make a difference. How about creating a flyer and posting it around your

neighborhood that says:

Overwhelmed Mom Needs a Little Break

Willing to trade off childcare with another mom. Would love to meet some

women who know/remember how tough it can be and contribute to each other to

help us all get through this.

Grateful for any responses,

Phone Number:

doing the work with anxiety attacks...

dear all,

i have been riding out episodes of anxiety of varying strength for about two

months, and in between mindfulness, meditation, yoga,deep breathing and

anything else i can find that helps, i've thought about trying to do the

work with

it, but i'm not sure how to, because i'm not often able to catch the

thoughts

that trigger each attack, if they're there.

victoria's work on psychosis was quite helpful.

I am tired of the anxiety attacks. I want them to end. I'm afraid of feeling

anxious. I feel like I've done enough work already.

The panic attacks are making me miserable.

Is this true? Hell yes.

Can I absolutely know it's true? No, I can't even know what's triggering

some of the panic attacks. I'm sure my resisting the feelings and sensations

is

at least part of what's making me miserable, though I can't always see that.

How do I feel when I believe that the attacks are making me miserable? I

feel

trapped, out of control of my own experience of life. I'm anxious (ha!) and

depressed. I feel resentful and sorry for myself. I want to stomp my feet

and

scream my frustration out, goddamn it!

Who would I be if I couldn't think that thought? Hmmm. This is pretty damn

hard to imagine. Maybe someone who woke up wondering what sort of internal

weather she might get that day? Someone curious to see how mercurial and

fleeting

her emotional states are?

TA: my fear of panic attacks is making me miserable.

:my thinking is miserable, I'm just fine.

: I'm making my fear miserable by pushing it away.

Hmmm,

I'm going to take a stab at what I think is under them.

Parenting is too hard. I want out. They're killing me. one or the other is

on

me from the moment I wake up until the moment I sleep. I have no other life.

And I can't quit. I'm trapped. I don't want to turn them over to someone

else

to raise. Most of the rest of the world makes a mess of child rearing.

Okay, I'm overwhelmed, yet I don't want to stop parenting them.

I'm trapped and overwhelmed.

Is it true? Sure feels like it.

Absolutely know it's true? Nah, much of the time I'm just fine. I can feel

really good about what I'm doing. And I do get breaks. And I truly could

walk

away. People do.

How do I feel when I believe the story that I'm trapped and overwhelmed?

Panicked, depressed, crappy. I shut down emotionally, I try to escape on

line, or

into the newspaper. I lay around and let harry nurse on me because it's

easier

than getting up and playing with them. My gut churns, there's a fluttering,

zinging feeling in my heart center, I consider killing myself, but what's

the

point of that, I'll just get right back on this damn wheel of samsara. I

can't

feel how precious my children are to me. I can't remember how incredibly

lucky I am to be home with them. I forget to go outside and garden. I forget

to

take care of my body. I don't take them out to museums or the zoo.

Who would I be if I couldn't think the thought, " I'm trapped and

overwhelmed? "

I'd be happy, I'd wake up excited to have a whole day with the kids to

explore the world. I'd be silly and playful. I'd be how I am when I'm

feeling

good.

TA:

My thinking is trapped and overwhelms me.

Well, I'm not feeling like I'm really getting at the core of this.

Any suggestions would be much appreciated (and I hope you don't mind that I

show up so rarely and am asking for feedback without having offered any to

others)

Thanks in advance,

susan

[Guest guest]

dear frank,

thank you ever so much. you nailed it for me. i'm going to sit down

with your post and do several more worksheets on what comes out of

your suggestions for digging deeper into my anxiety.

i know that the first one is going to be, " My kids are precious to

me. " b/c you're abolutely right, i don't feel that in the least right

now, and i'm so ashamed of that i haven't even admitted it to myself.

i'm so glad to pull that sad little thought out and embrace it and

tell it that it's okay not to feel love for your kids when you're

overstressed.

then i'll get to work on it with a worksheet!

i also want to thank you for your excellent observation about anxiety

underlying causes, and about projecting onself into the future and

creating panic. that makes great sense and yet it never occured to me

so clearly.

and thank you for saying that parenting was so hard for you. i need

to hear that time and again, because i tell myself too often that

i've got it easy, staying at home with the kids and having a super-

involved husband who only works 3-day weeks, that i should be

handling it better than i do. (i guess that'll be the second

worksheet i do!)

with much gratitude,

susan

> Hi ,

>

>

>

> And welcome. Most of us are here because we want to make a

difference with

> others, so it's certainly not a problem that you only post rarely.

I'm just

> glad that you're here looking at this.

>

>

>

> When looking at anxiety there is something that you are not willing

to

> experience, something you would deny its existence; that's the

place to look

> for " workable " sentences. I'll take a stab at some that might be

there:

>

> * I don't have a choice. I'm trapped.

>

> * I love my kids.

>

> * My kids are precious to me.

>

> o Now I'm not suggesting that you're a bad mommy or that you

don't

> care about your kids. But when you say that sometimes you can't

remember how

> precious they are to you that sounds like you're trying to pretend

that they

> are precious to you, when, in the moment, they aren't at all. They

are a

> burden, a burden that has you feeling trapped and helpless and

overwhelmed.

> There's nothing wrong with you feeling this way . I hear that

you would

> like to deny those feelings their existence and push them out of

your

> awareness. This causes stress. It comes from a stand that there is

something

> wrong here. There's something wrong with me and I shouldn't feel

the way I

> do. Is that really true?

>

> o Being the father of a baby was the hardest job I ever did.

They need

> so much care, so much attention, so much stuff. I had some

resentment that

> my life had become centered on her needs. What about me? What about

my

> needs? I felt like a beast of burden.

>

> o One of the only things that tempered my resolve to get

through it

> was remembering Maharishi Mahesh Yogi saying that when you have

children you

> pay your karmic debt to your parents. That makes sense. My parents

had gone

> through that for me, now here I was.

>

> * One place to look is for underlying meanings. If _____ is

true, it

> means ______.

>

> o If I acknowledge resenting what I have to go through for my

kids, it

> means that I am a bad person, a defective woman.

>

> o If I don't take my kids to the museum it means ________

>

> * Panic comes from projecting yourself into an imagined

future and

> then resisting (in your thinking) the future you have projected

yourself

> into. Work on getting clearly what those projections are;

distinguish them;

> get them down on paper, and then look at them with the four

questions.

>

> * Another place to look is at " The Worst that Could Happen. "

If you

> give in to the situation as it is, what's the worst that could

happen? And

> if you had that, then what would be present? Just go ahead and let

the

> thinking mind have it's life on paper. Instead of suppressing it

and running

> from it, turn around and look it in the face. Invite it to do it's

worst.

> " Hit me with your best shot. Let's see just how horrible you can

be. " You'll

> survive, I promise. And I imagine you'll end up seeing through a

paper

> dragon.

>

>

>

> What you're dealing with in panic attacks is a desire to contract

in the

> face of an imagined outcome. You may or may not have control over

the

> outcome, but you do have control over contracting or not. It is the

> contraction that hurts. The more you can look, without contracting,

just

> allowing, the freer and more peaceful you will be.

>

> Links of possible interest:

>

http://groups.msn.com/spearesWeb/thelazymansguidetoenlightenment.

msnw

> http://groups.msn.com/spearesWeb/confrontingthetiger.msnw

>

>

>

> Here's an idea for you. There are people all over the place who

remember

> what a struggle it is to raise small children; people who want to

contribute

> and make a difference. How about creating a flyer and posting it

around your

> neighborhood that says:

>

> Overwhelmed Mom Needs a Little Break

>

> Willing to trade off childcare with another mom. Would love to meet

some

> women who know/remember how tough it can be and contribute to each

other to

> help us all get through this.

>

> Grateful for any responses,

>

>

>

> Phone Number:

>

>

>

> doing the work with anxiety attacks...

>

>

>

> dear all,

>

> i have been riding out episodes of anxiety of varying strength for

about two

>

> months, and in between mindfulness, meditation, yoga,deep breathing

and

> anything else i can find that helps, i've thought about trying to

do the

> work with

> it, but i'm not sure how to, because i'm not often able to catch the

> thoughts

> that trigger each attack, if they're there.

>

> victoria's work on psychosis was quite helpful.

>

>

>

> I am tired of the anxiety attacks. I want them to end. I'm afraid

of feeling

>

> anxious. I feel like I've done enough work already.

>

>

>

> The panic attacks are making me miserable.

>

> Is this true? Hell yes.

>

> Can I absolutely know it's true? No, I can't even know what's

triggering

> some of the panic attacks. I'm sure my resisting the feelings and

sensations

> is

> at least part of what's making me miserable, though I can't always

see that.

>

> How do I feel when I believe that the attacks are making me

miserable? I

> feel

> trapped, out of control of my own experience of life. I'm anxious

(ha!) and

> depressed. I feel resentful and sorry for myself. I want to stomp

my feet

> and

> scream my frustration out, goddamn it!

>

> Who would I be if I couldn't think that thought? Hmmm. This is

pretty damn

> hard to imagine. Maybe someone who woke up wondering what sort of

internal

> weather she might get that day? Someone curious to see how

mercurial and

> fleeting

> her emotional states are?

>

>

>

> TA: my fear of panic attacks is making me miserable.

>

> :my thinking is miserable, I'm just fine.

>

> : I'm making my fear miserable by pushing it away.

>

>

>

> Hmmm,

>

>

>

> I'm going to take a stab at what I think is under them.

>

>

>

> Parenting is too hard. I want out. They're killing me. one or the

other is

> on

> me from the moment I wake up until the moment I sleep. I have no

other life.

>

> And I can't quit. I'm trapped. I don't want to turn them over to

someone

> else

> to raise. Most of the rest of the world makes a mess of child

rearing.

>

> Okay, I'm overwhelmed, yet I don't want to stop parenting them.

>

>

>

> I'm trapped and overwhelmed.

>

>

>

> Is it true? Sure feels like it.

>

> Absolutely know it's true? Nah, much of the time I'm just fine. I

can feel

> really good about what I'm doing. And I do get breaks. And I truly

could

> walk

> away. People do.

>

>

>

> How do I feel when I believe the story that I'm trapped and

overwhelmed?

> Panicked, depressed, crappy. I shut down emotionally, I try to

escape on

> line, or

> into the newspaper. I lay around and let harry nurse on me because

it's

> easier

> than getting up and playing with them. My gut churns, there's a

fluttering,

> zinging feeling in my heart center, I consider killing myself, but

what's

> the

> point of that, I'll just get right back on this damn wheel of

samsara. I

> can't

> feel how precious my children are to me. I can't remember how

incredibly

> lucky I am to be home with them. I forget to go outside and garden.

I forget

> to

> take care of my body. I don't take them out to museums or the zoo.

>

> Who would I be if I couldn't think the thought, " I'm trapped and

> overwhelmed? "

>

> I'd be happy, I'd wake up excited to have a whole day with the kids

to

> explore the world. I'd be silly and playful. I'd be how I am when

I'm

> feeling

> good.

>

>

>

> TA:

>

> My thinking is trapped and overwhelms me.

>

>

>

> Well, I'm not feeling like I'm really getting at the core of this.

>

>

>

> Any suggestions would be much appreciated (and I hope you don't

mind that I

> show up so rarely and am asking for feedback without having offered

any to

> others)

>

> Thanks in advance,

>

> susan

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I'm so glad that my words occurred as a contribution to you. That's the main

thing I want, you know; to feel like I add value through who I am and what I

bring. In listening to me as that kind of person you have contributed to me.

Thank you.

More inside.

doing the work with anxiety attacks...

>

>

>

> dear all,

>

> i have been riding out episodes of anxiety of varying strength for

about two

>

> months, and in between mindfulness, meditation, yoga,deep breathing

and

> anything else i can find that helps, i've thought about trying to

do the

> work with

> it, but i'm not sure how to, because i'm not often able to catch the

> thoughts

> that trigger each attack, if they're there.

>

> victoria's work on psychosis was quite helpful.

>

>

>

> I am tired of the anxiety attacks. I want them to end. I'm afraid

of feeling

>

> anxious. I feel like I've done enough work already.

>

>

>

> The panic attacks are making me miserable.

>

> Is this true? Hell yes.

>

> Can I absolutely know it's true? No, I can't even know what's

triggering

> some of the panic attacks. I'm sure my resisting the feelings and

sensations

> is

> at least part of what's making me miserable, though I can't always

see that.

>

> How do I feel when I believe that the attacks are making me

miserable? I

> feel

> trapped, out of control of my own experience of life. I'm anxious

(ha!) and

> depressed. I feel resentful and sorry for myself. I want to stomp

my feet

> and

> scream my frustration out, goddamn it!

>

> Who would I be if I couldn't think that thought? Hmmm. This is

pretty damn

> hard to imagine. Maybe someone who woke up wondering what sort of

internal

> weather she might get that day? Someone curious to see how

mercurial and

> fleeting

> her emotional states are?

>

>

>

> TA: my fear of panic attacks is making me miserable.

>

> :my thinking is miserable, I'm just fine.

>

> : I'm making my fear miserable by pushing it away.

>

>

>

> Hmmm,

>

>

>

> I'm going to take a stab at what I think is under them.

>

>

>

> Parenting is too hard. I want out. They're killing me. one or the

other is

> on

> me from the moment I wake up until the moment I sleep. I have no

other life.

>

> And I can't quit. I'm trapped. I don't want to turn them over to

someone

> else

> to raise. Most of the rest of the world makes a mess of child

rearing.

>

> Okay, I'm overwhelmed, yet I don't want to stop parenting them.

>

>

>

> I'm trapped and overwhelmed.

>

>

>

> Is it true? Sure feels like it.

>

> Absolutely know it's true? Nah, much of the time I'm just fine. I

can feel

> really good about what I'm doing. And I do get breaks. And I truly

could

> walk

> away. People do.

>

>

>

> How do I feel when I believe the story that I'm trapped and

overwhelmed?

> Panicked, depressed, crappy. I shut down emotionally, I try to

escape on

> line, or

> into the newspaper. I lay around and let harry nurse on me because

it's

> easier

> than getting up and playing with them. My gut churns, there's a

fluttering,

> zinging feeling in my heart center, I consider killing myself, but

what's

> the

> point of that, I'll just get right back on this damn wheel of

samsara. I

> can't

> feel how precious my children are to me. I can't remember how

incredibly

> lucky I am to be home with them. I forget to go outside and garden.

I forget

> to

> take care of my body. I don't take them out to museums or the zoo.

>

> Who would I be if I couldn't think the thought, " I'm trapped and

> overwhelmed? "

>

> I'd be happy, I'd wake up excited to have a whole day with the kids

to

> explore the world. I'd be silly and playful. I'd be how I am when

I'm

> feeling

> good.

>

>

>

> TA:

>

> My thinking is trapped and overwhelms me.

>

>

>

> Well, I'm not feeling like I'm really getting at the core of this.

>

>

>

> Any suggestions would be much appreciated (and I hope you don't

mind that I

> show up so rarely and am asking for feedback without having offered

any to

> others)

>

> Thanks in advance,

>

> susan

>

>

>

>

>