Re: CP & Relationships...

[Guest guest]

Hello Again Everyone,

I must certainly say that dealing with Chronic Pain, along with

other illnesses is very difficult & the posts Annette, Steve, &

Kathleen it too really moved me ...touched my heart...I too feel

very alone at times because over the past year alone I've had back

surgery, last month knee surgery, & since my marriage there's been

more surgeries as well, which I don't want to take up too much time

getting into at the present, However if anyone would like addtional

Infomation & Support please feel free to email me " Privately " at

SweetOceanBlue2001@...

My husband & I also have been into Counseling/Therapy together &

seperately, which still too this day it's an everyday " struggle "

because he hates it that I'm ill 24/7, and the barriers which

communication here at home hurts me too because I'm very much into

discussing & trying to problem-solve, on the other hand my husband

doesn't talk much & he also gets frustated on a consistent basis

because I tell him all the time, " Communicating our feelings &

sharing is effective in any " Relationship, Marriage, etc... However,

he refuses to talk & when he does it's a real hard " pill " to swallow

for me because what he does say too me hurts, & Yes we've already

have " seperated " before because of this... I just don't know from

each day where my " Marriage " is heading & I do feel alone...

I try each day to stay strong, Pray & being a Member of this Support

Group gives me the " Courage & Strength " also too go on...

Thanks so much for reading my post, & also for those of you who are

facing the same situation as I, Just remeber let " us " continue too

give one another " Encouragement & Support " ...

Hugs,

Bradley-Kennedy

SweetOceanBlue2001@...

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone,

It sounds like a lot of us are having the same kinds of problems with

relationships.

Chronic pain is really ripping up my marriage, which was wonderful

for the 6 years before I hurt my back. We were one of those couples

who never really fought and now we fight almost constantly. I don't

know what's happening half the time. I'll say somehing without really

thinking about it and my husband will be angry suddenly. This is a

guy who is usually very gentle and sweet. He gets angry and then I

burst into tears, which stops the discussion but doesn't resolve the

issue.

I guess he looks forward to coming home so he can rest and get some

peace & quiet, and instead there's me - lonely and dying to talk to

someone or in pain & very irritable. Or both. He says I complain all

the time and I talk too much. I think we're in this vicious cycle

right now - I'm depressed so I'm needy, which makes him turn away,

which makes me more depressed and more needy, etc, etc.

I've suggested that we go to counselling together, but he says he

doesn't have time. He is going to a stress management class at work.

I'm going to a psychologist who specializes in CP, who is trying to

help me deal with my pain better. Hopefully this will break the

cycle, but I can't help feeling that our marriage will never fully

recover even if my back does (and even that's not likely).

Sorry for rambling on but I feel so lost and confused about what's

happening to my life. Right now it seems like my back pain is the

least of my worries, even though it caused all the others.

Di

in Vancouver, B.C., Canada