Re: need help understanding fleas

[Guest guest]

Hi Theresa,

A flea is when we act like a BP, because we don't know or were not

taught the right way to act in a situation. It can be almost any

behavior, and it will be different for all of us. I don't think your

reaction was a flea. I think that you were triggered by the person

who threatened you - in that their action reminded you, or brought

back feelings that were related to your nada. That is also why we

have such a hard time getting over these incidents. The present

incident brings up feelings that we have suppressed. Often we don't

even remember the original incident, but we have stored the emotional

memory. My therapy has been about getting those suppressed memories

out in the open and deal with them now, cause my nada and foo didn't

let me deal with them when they were happening.

Hang in there until the 26th, and take care,

Sylvia

> Hi, all

>

> I know I have read about fleas before. Is that in SWOE or somewhere

> else? So, is a flea when you react to something or someone as if it

> is coming from your borderline parent or is a flea when you kind of

> act like a borderline yourself? I wanted to get that straight.

>

> Earlier today someone threatened me in a borderline parent nada way

> and I had a major flea. I had to figure out how to stop playing

the

> incident over and over in my head and stop dwelling on it. My

> therapist said she has some ideas on how to distract from being

> exhausted by nada stress, but I don't see her until the 26th. I

> really need this technique b/c it really can mess up my work

schedule;

> I get paid by production instead of by the hour, so when I am over

> stressed, my production goes down.

>

> Daughter's confirmation sponsor has been sucked in by all the " poor

> granny " stories from nada herself, so I did have to let him in on

info

> that I otherwise had not. I told him I don't go around telling

people

> about my family problems b/c it'snot proper. hint hint for when

nada

> goes around telling her family problems to them; they should see

> something weird about that.

>

> Know what? If they thought nada really cared about my daughter,

they

> should know that if nada were in trouble money wise or health wise

or

> needing her yard done or whatever, the first place nada should go is

> to her church. At least all Catholic churches are set up in a way

to

> help people with needs if they really need it. That way there is no

> risk of putting a negative light on me or daughter and such by going

> to the homeschool group. I guess they just ain't that bright or

> somethin' , huh? Nada really gets to the kind of ignorant ones or

> the ones who have a dreamy family life and can't imagine anyone

could

> be like nada.

>

> Theresa