Good stretches and bad stretches

[Guest guest]

I had a couple of weeks where I was non-stop productive. I was getting

up on time, had a daily schedule which I followed faithfully. I had

projects I was doing like making my 1st self-advocating video for You

Tube, and a generally upbeat & optimistic attitude. I was going to the

forest preserve w/my mother and taking pictures. My therapist couldn't

get over the change in me since March. Now, suddenly since mid-week, I

find myself irritable, overwhelmed and overtired. This raises

questions for me like will I ever be able to work in the future? Live

on my own when my mother can't take care of me anymore? I'm always in

this start-stop pattern. I don't know if there's more I should be

doing, something different. The noises and resulting phobias are

crippling. That's why I don't fully see AS as a gift. It's 2-sided. I

would like to think that TRT and getting a light-box will put a stop

to this vicious cycle, as well as continued council. Does anyone else

go through this? Has it cost them their job/housing/relationships? Or

are there understanding bosses/landlords/partners. It would help me to

know for the future. Thanks. .

[Guest guest]

" I had a couple of weeks where I was non-stop productive. I was

getting up on time, had a daily schedule which I followed faithfully.

I had projects I was doing like making my 1st self-advocating video

for You Tube, and a generally upbeat & optimistic attitude. I was going

to the forest preserve w/my mother and taking pictures. My therapist

couldn't get over the change in me since March. Now, suddenly since

mid-week, I find myself irritable, overwhelmed and overtired. This

raises questions for me like will I ever be able to work in the

future? Live on my own when my mother can't take care of me anymore?

I'm always in this start-stop pattern. "

1) Autism is a wave. Not a straight line. By that I mean that the

degree to which one is affected by autism tends to ebb and flow, and

this ebb and flow may not be consistent. That is why...

2) Making a schedule and sticking to it works at " high tide " but not

at " low tide. "

" I don't know if there's more I should be doing, something different. "

The trick is to make two separate schedules for yourself. One at high

tide and one at low tide, and not beat yourself up if you cannot tell

which tide you are in.

" The noises and resulting phobias are crippling. That's why I don't

fully see AS as a gift. It's 2-sided. "

The noises and phobias are not a part of your autism. Asperger

Syndrome is something separate and apart from the issue that you have

with sounds and phobias. Knowing this, you can better ascertain what

it is that is crippling.

" I would like to think that TRT and getting a light-box will put a

stop to this vicious cycle, as well as continued council. Does anyone

else go through this? "

I've learned to be more self-aware and adjust my life accordingly.

When I can see that something is going to be affecting me, I try to

make plans in advance about how to deal with it. Not everything can

be planned for, but it's quite possible to circumvent alot of the

problems I normally encounter.

" Has it cost them their job/housing/relationships? "

I'd say both. No one has patience at work for a perfectionist,

although just about anyone who is looking to hire someone would tell

you the opposite. And no one likes anti-social co-workers. So I have

had problems at some places of employment. I would also say that

every relationship I have had with a non-Aspie woman has been

disasterous. They never understood how noisy and obnoxious or

gregarious they were, and they never understood my need to be alone

and not socialize. The worst relationship I had was in college. That

woman was studying to be a special education teacher. She was very

understanding of hearing impaired people, but had no patience for

people who were suffering anxiety or anti-social disorders.

" Or are there understanding bosses/landlords/partners. It would help

me to know for the future. "

My most recent employer was very understanding of who I am and

ofcourse, Raven and I get along well.

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