Re: my introduction(hi need to share with u)

[Guest guest]

hello ,

how r u ?

u r doing THE WORK extremely well i think so ...

considering that

what ur son if doing u just forgive him for that....

that seems really wonderful...

can u tell me what forgiving others actually means

does it means accepting the reality..

or does it means find our faults

od does it means to find how others r innocent and how

we r wrong ....that means with whose business we r

dealing with....

i got it forgiveness means to look in whose business

we r dealing with ...

but if we find ourself guilty

then it all turns to be shame and blame

so can u tell me how should we react after the WORK is

complete ......how to imply it in practical..

please let me know what u did ?

thanks..

....

i think there is purpose after every event

after every thoughts ... and lot more

....

let me know ur purpose that would solve my problem to

know the purpose of my life..

thanks ok bye

--- rgeller3403 wrote:

---------------------------------

My name is and I have been doing the Work for

about 18 months.

I started having some problems in my life and embarked

on a spiritual

search for answers. My search uncovered Loving What Is

and I started

doing The Work and listening to the tapes.

I still listen to the tapes and do the work. I

probably " should " do

the work more often -- hey, I should do the work on

that last

statement becuase it isn't true and I believe it!

I have done the work for awhile but recently had an

experience that I

think you will find interesting. My greatest teacher

recently has been

my son. He sits on his computer all day and most of

the night. He is

14 and basically he has become uncommunicative. He is

playing games

but also writing programs and has a whole community of

people in his

social circle, all on the computer.

I tried to control him and alter his behavior for the

longest time. I

have tried to " teach " him and his younger sister

stuff. One of the

best tapes I've heard was " Raising Children " , an

incredible revelation

to me that I am still trying to understand and absorb.

Anyway, my son caused me a lot of pain. And suddenly,

after doing the

work yet again, somehow it just all stopped. I stopped

caring about

his behavior and I stopped trying to control. Some of

that comes back

here and there from habit, but I didn't do anything to

make this

happen, the thought " he shouldn't do this " just left

me.

Now some would say I should get my son some help. I

should take away

his computer. Whatever. But I do not think that at

all. I see what he

is doing as his business. How can I know what is best

for his path?

And I sit on *my* computer all day, so who am I to

know better what he

should do?

I have never experienced such a release from a

troubling set of

thoughts. So it does work. All I can do is inquire

about my own

thoughts and work on myself.

--

[Guest guest]

Hello, Abhijit.

On Fri, Jan 30, 2004 at 10:11:24AM +0000, abhijit mahajan wrote:

> hello ,

> how r u ?

> u r doing THE WORK extremely well i think so ...

> considering that

> what ur son if doing u just forgive him for that....

> that seems really wonderful...

> can u tell me what forgiving others actually means

I don't think it actually means anything, in and of itself. For me, it

means whatever I decide it does. Same for , same for ,

same for you. Whatever you mean when you say " forgive " , that's what it

actually means in your universe. I see no other meaning for anything,

other than what does it mean to you, to me, to someone.

> does it means accepting the reality..

> or does it means find our faults

> od does it means to find how others r innocent and how

> we r wrong ....that means with whose business we r

> dealing with....

> i got it forgiveness means to look in whose business

> we r dealing with ...

Ah, so now you know what forgiveness actually means, for you. And I

still might have different words to say what it means for me.

> but if we find ourself guilty

> then it all turns to be shame and blame

Really? Can you know that that's true every time? For everyone?

Suppose I attach to the idea, " Abhijit should do The Work. " I'm in

Abhijit's business.

Is it true? Yes! Abhijit should do The Work!

Can I know for sure that he's not doing The Work? No, I can't.

Can I really know that it's true that Abhijit should do The Work? No.

How do I react when I attach to that thought? I feel frustrated and

angry. I think, " If he'd just do a worksheet, he'd begin to see. " (Can

I know that's true? No.) I want to control him. I'm in his business.

Who would I be without the thought that Abhijit should do The Work?

Seeing that Abhijit is perfect just the way he is. Seeing that Tom is

perfect just the way he is. Enjoying watching Abhijit and Tom on their

journeys and walking with them.

TA: Abhijit should do The Work, or not, whichever he does. It's not up

to me.

TA: I should do The Work and get out of Abhijit's business. I notice

that I'm in Abhijit's business and stop -- I forgive Abhijit for not

doing The Work. Then, as you say, I could go to shaming and blaming

myself for having been in Abhijit's business.

Or, I could notice that I'm in the business of the person I was five

seconds ago, judging that Abhijit should do The Work. Now I can get

out of that guy's business and forgive him. No need for shame or

blame.

And, if it still hurts, I can do The Work on the thoughts that are

still pinching.

> so can u tell me how should we react after the WORK is

> complete ......how to imply it in practical..

> please let me know what u did ?

> thanks..

After doing The Work on a thought, I react however I do. Can you

choose your reactions? My experience is that they just happen. If

they're painful, I know to look for another thought and do some more

Work.

I don't expect my Work to ever be complete -- another thought can come

along just anytime and I might attach to it. says we're either

inquiring or attaching, no other choices. So far, in my experience,

that seems to be true.

> ...

> i think there is purpose after every event

> after every thoughts ... and lot more

> ...

> let me know ur purpose that would solve my problem to

> know the purpose of my life..

To know the purpose of my life, I look at what I'm doing. In this

moment, my purpose is to write an e-mail to you.

Keep asking your questions, Abhijit. If you feel it might serve you, I

invite you to write a worksheet and post it. I'm glad you're here.

love,

Tom

[Guest guest]

Tom,

I find such joy in reading your worksheets. Thanks for sharing.

regards,

MCO