Marriage x 4/Pam

[Guest guest]

Caroline, It is uncanny. The more I have told this to women it does seem to

make sense. What you said about someone wanting you in this shape is what I am

thinking also. I was looking pretty good on the outside, but as I become more

sedentary (which is the only thing that helps with my pain, besides drugs) that

is starting to change. I am starting to look my age. And not to mention what a

finacial drain I would be. Who's able to sit around being social, and, where

would that be, long enough to meet anybody? Not to mention the trust issue.

After what my husband has done to me, how could I ever trust a man again. I was

completely fooled. When he told me, I couldn't breathe, for eight months at

least I couldn't quit crying or believe it. He has screwed me in everyway he

possibly could. From making the house unsellable to not paying my SS from the

the business so I don't qualify for benefits. I am 51, that's a long time to

live with this disability and no money. I gave it

to God it is the only reason I can live with it. Before I did that I was so

scared I could hardly function. HE has been taking care of everything pretty

good since. I just can't imagine any kind of future that I would want to live

through. I am trusting that He has some reason for me to live through all that

has happened to me. Right now I am just so grateful that I don't need to cry

all the time. Pam

Caroline Pollak wrote:Pam, that is uncannily true what

that book character said about the four marriages.

Pam McGrath wrote:

Caroline, about your comment about 3 husbands, I just read Marrying Mom by the

late Olivia Goldsmith. One of the charactors in the book, a 70 yr old widow,

said that women should marry 4 times.

[Guest guest]

Pam,

I can sure relate to being more sedentary for pain relief & getting out of

shape, aging more. Social life to meet anybody is another thing I can't do much

of either. Not even at the next city's senior center. Too far to drive for one

thing. Expensive for classes, outings & such as well plus yearly membership fees

for all other things.

There's a widowed people's group in that same city too that requires a yearly

membership fee. But it wasn't my cup of tea either. They did have potlucks now &

then at someone's house or their center. But mostly just board or card games.

I'm just not a board or card game player anymore. Not since childhood. Too

boring.

Then at the potlucks, there's too much food I can't eat. I have to have a

special diet so that makes even dining out very difficult. Also the widowers'

group was too religiously oriented for one thing & I'm spiritual, not at all

religious.It wasn't a constant thing but it entered in far too often for my

tastes. I think religion should be a private or church affair & not out in

public. Not everyone is even the same religion anymore in this USA melting pot.

My social life lately has been mostly at the warm water disabled peoples' pool

in that same city. That's fun. But I haven't been able to drive there to do that

for well over a month now. I do miss that though. There were mostly women there

in those classes & only two occasional men, both married to women who went there

too.

I've got a major problem with trusting men as well. If you want to share stories

about what you husband did & mine also, write me privately. That would be a good

thing to share I think if we both have issues to resolve there with males in

general. But you might not like the fact that my male issues include your " God "

as well. He's nobody I could trust either. I do way better taking care of things

myself or with the help of my spiritual guides.

Pam McGrath wrote:

Caroline, It is uncanny. The more I have told this to women it does seem to

make sense.

[Guest guest]

Oh God, I came in on this conversation a little late but 2 bast----are enough

for me. I have a fine gentleman...with a foul mouth; but i can cope with that.

At least he doesn't degrade me and do all the other unmanly things some of them

try to do. I don't know how anyone could cope with 4 of the buggers.

Pam, you did the right thing to turn everything over to God, somehow he will

take care of you. He has me. Why, I will never know. but why question. donna