Helping Others....

[Guest guest]

" Boyd " wrote:

> And welcome. Most of us are here because we want to make a

difference with

> others, so it's certainly not a problem that you only post rarely.

I'm just

> glad that you're here looking at this.

The belief that there is an other (in pain)....the belief that you are

helping are stories. When you give advice as so many here are prone

to do, are you helping or attaching to a story? When you lurk here to

respond to newbies with your wisdom who is it you are helping?

Through inquiry for me I saw it was my low self esteem I was helping.

When I think that I help someone by believing in their problem and I

can show them a way out of their hell, have I helped?

sometimes points the way out but most times she sits and allows

an expansiveness so that the other person can have the deep aha and

really *own* the altered perception.

For me, when I give advice, what I have done is fostered the lie that

help, love, whatever is *out there* some where. It's not.

For me, I'm learning that the only way to help another is to redirect

them back to themselves.

I notice that this board is changing in complexion because of this

apparant lack of people really doing inquiry.

There appears to be a lot of new postings of people asking for help

and advice and people here to give advice. Just one ego talking to

another.

The goal is to UNDO the stories and do continuous self-inquiry so that

each person becomes both the sufferer and the savior.

Carol constantly redirected and pointed out her story and ways to look

at your story and I'm noticing that the people who actually do the

work are posting less and less and the dialog isn't about the work but

more about people looking for crutches and the crutch dispensers hand

them out willingly.

Unfortunately, the loving what is philosophy appears to mean that

anything that this board morphs into is " okay " - for me this is a

common misinterpretation of the entire book - as a result, how do you

address the issue of people using the board to bolster weak self

esteems without actually doing inquiry?

People who think that they have " arrived " and no longer need to do the

work themselves.

No matter how wise, how wonderful, how skillful, how fabulous the

advice is...it is still that advice from a well meaning ego.

No matter how well meaning - it simply adds to suffering - doesn't

undo it - because the core of Loving What Is is to get that it's you -

you are the source of your suffering, your answers to end that

suffering, you are the source of the love you seek, everything....

I'm realizing that when I excessively posted on this board it was a

way I could distract myself from me doing the work. I hid from the

work by watching tv, excessive sleep, binge eating, shopping sprees,

etc. Rescuing another is simply an addiction - it's an addiction

that's very prevalent on this board.

So for me recently this board should be renamed - Loving That

Addiction! As with all addicts - it's so hard to get that no one

needs you - but you need yourself - real hard to bottom out with so

much praise for your addiction.

Blessings - Jan