Re: my spiritual partner is too unstable

[Guest guest]

It's very difficult to " be in the world but not of the world. " Many of us

spend a lifetime trying to master this one. Good luck! And remember, you

can have anything you want...your present partner may not be what you really

want. Only you know the truth of that question. Eddie

>

>Reply-To: Loving-what-is

>To: Loving-what-is

>Subject: my spiritual partner is too unstable

>Date: Sun, 15 Feb 2004 02:47:51 -0000

>

>I am mad at my partner, because he was supposed to make my life safe

>and secure and fun, but instead of him giving me security I have to

>take care of him.

>I am mad that he is not interested in this world enough to

>participate in a normal way.

>I am embarrased by his behaviour in public.

>I am mad that he is not strong or stable.

>I am mad that he is always depressed and sooo fragile that I have to

>watch how I act and what I say.

>I am mad that I have to stifle how I feel and that I cant talk

>openly, because he is so sensitive and would not be able to handle

>it.

>I am mad that he only wants Enlightenment and therefore is a misfit

>in society. I want him to want Enlightenment, but still be able to

>function in this world.

>I am tired of suppressing my feelings and not doing what I want to

>do with my life, just because of him.

>I am mad that he does not earn money and provide a stable life for

>me.

>I am mad that he is cold and angry and critical instead of being

>light and fun and easy going.

>I am mad that his path to enlightenment is sooo serious and painful

>and depressing and suffering.....

>

>I want him to have a path that is more normal, more easy going, more

>fun, less suppressive, less renouncing of this world.

>I want him to be nice, supportive and happy.

>I want a secure life with a place to live in peace and enough money.

>I want to continue with this search for enlightenment, but not poor

>and not with such uncertain living situations, not without a home or

>some income.

>

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[Guest guest]

Still Heart, this is my 1st posting here, mostly I just read to

see how others are applying the Work....

I don't type fast enough and it is too late for me to give you the

detail I would like.... so here is the nutshell version...

You are responsible for you. That is what a turn around would

say.. he is responsible for him. If he is too ill to see he needs

self work, then all the effort in the world, outside of his forced

commitment to a facility, won't make him drink the water. This is

is true.

It may be true he thinks enlightenment requires that he live as

basically as possible. That doesn't make it your truth.

That is true.

Anger is from pain. What you are going through hurts. Only

accepting the truth will relieve the pain and then the anger.

I am an addict.

I am angry. But I am working to accept the truth, and let the

anger go....

I am married to a very angry woman, who is sure I need to relieve

her pain....

And the truth has set me free.

I wish you peace.

Ron

my spiritual partner is too unstable

I am mad at my partner, because he was supposed to make my life

safe

and secure and fun, but instead of him giving me security I have

to

take care of him.

I am mad that he is not interested in this world enough to

participate in a normal way.

I am embarrased by his behaviour in public.

I am mad that he is not strong or stable.

I am mad that he is always depressed and sooo fragile that I

have to

watch how I act and what I say.

I am mad that I have to stifle how I feel and that I cant talk

openly, because he is so sensitive and would not be able to

handle

it.

I am mad that he only wants Enlightenment and therefore is a

misfit

in society. I want him to want Enlightenment, but still be able

to

function in this world.

I am tired of suppressing my feelings and not doing what I want

to

do with my life, just because of him.

I am mad that he does not earn money and provide a stable life

for

me.

I am mad that he is cold and angry and critical instead of being

light and fun and easy going.

I am mad that his path to enlightenment is sooo serious and

painful

and depressing and suffering.....

I want him to have a path that is more normal, more easy going,

more

fun, less suppressive, less renouncing of this world.

I want him to be nice, supportive and happy.

I want a secure life with a place to live in peace and enough

money.

I want to continue with this search for enlightenment, but not

poor

and not with such uncertain living situations, not without a

home or

some income.

------------------------------------------------------------------

------------

[Guest guest]

THANK you so much for posting this work. I howled when I read it. I

used to be in this hell. When I sat down with a therapist - I think

it took the therapist all of 2 minutes to see clearly, he simply

turned to me and said - Hon you need therapy to understand why you

stayed with him for over 6 years....

I have interspersed MY work in your work - it may not serve you at

all, but it sure gave me a grand smile and I'm so thankful to you.

" stillheartwalk " wrote:

> I am mad that he is always depressed and sooo fragile that I have to

> watch how I act and what I say.

> I am mad that I have to stifle how I feel and that I cant talk

> openly, because he is so sensitive and would not be able to handle

> it.

Turnaround - I am mad at myself because he depresses me and I am so

fragile that I have to watch how I act and what I say because if I

really spoke my truth he might leave - or behave in ways that I can't

or don't wish to handle.

I am mad that I have to stifle how I feel and that I can't talk

openly, because I am so sensitive in owning his feelings that I feel

he needs me to take care of him and I would not be able to handle the

real truth that I am here taking care of him so I don't have to look

too closely at myself and my work. I am the addict.

> I am tired of suppressing my feelings and not doing what I want to

> do with my life, just because of him.

I am tired of suppressing my desire to leave because I cannot handle

the guilt because I'm so taken with my purpose in life to rescue him

that I've forgotten the real purpose of my life.

> I am mad that he does not earn money and provide a stable life for

> me.

I'm mad at myself at thinking that I have to earn money for this man

and that I have to pretend stability for both of us.

> I am mad that his path to enlightenment is sooo serious and painful

> and depressing and suffering.....

Are you really asking if these questions are true? Are you believing

these statements? From over here, in my situation, I attached myself

to someone and that was it. I felt it was like a life raft and it

turned out to be a boat with a huge hole in it. When we released one

another - THAT was the liferaft. I felt so much pain at being rid of

someone so self-absorbed....oh honey...thank you for this work - just

one year ago I was writing like you and believing every word of it.

You make me so thankful for this work.

I too wanted the security - and I got huge insecurity - God's humor

telling me to look for the security inside myself. When I started the

journey inward EUREKA - there it was waiting to be discovered.

Blessings to you - Jan

[Guest guest]

Dear stillhearwalk,

thank you so much for your beliefs.

It is very relieving for me to undo them!

Thank you,

PS: turn the subject around, if you wish to. Feel it. Realize it.

Am 15.02.2004 um 10:30 schrieb Loving-what-is :

> Date: Sun, 15 Feb 2004 02:47:51 -0000

>

> Subject: my spiritual partner is too unstable

>

> I am mad at my partner, because he was supposed to make my life safe

> and secure and fun, but instead of him giving me security I have to

> take care of him.

> I am mad that he is not interested in this world enough to

> participate in a normal way.

> I am embarrased by his behaviour in public.

> I am mad that he is not strong or stable.

> I am mad that he is always depressed and sooo fragile that I have to

> watch how I act and what I say.

> I am mad that I have to stifle how I feel and that I cant talk

> openly, because he is so sensitive and would not be able to handle

> it.

> I am mad that he only wants Enlightenment and therefore is a misfit

> in society. I want him to want Enlightenment, but still be able to

> function in this world.

> I am tired of suppressing my feelings and not doing what I want to

> do with my life, just because of him.

> I am mad that he does not earn money and provide a stable life for

> me.

> I am mad that he is cold and angry and critical instead of being

> light and fun and easy going.

> I am mad that his path to enlightenment is sooo serious and painful

> and depressing and suffering.....

>

> I want him to have a path that is more normal, more easy going, more

> fun, less suppressive, less renouncing of this world.

> I want him to be nice, supportive and happy.

> I want a secure life with a place to live in peace and enough money.

> I want to continue with this search for enlightenment, but not poor

> and not with such uncertain living situations, not without a home or

> some income.

[Guest guest]

Dear Eddie,

thank you for making me realize how often people suggest to " consider

if you are together with the wrong partner " on this list.

BK says: " The one you are with is perfect. Because you are with him "

When I started with the work I had considered leaving my wife, and she

had considered leaving me. We both realized at about the same time,

that it would be no difference. (Me with what I call " the work " and her

without (is that really true??)).

It does not matter whom you are with. There is no one to be with but

yourself.

Love,

>

> It's very difficult to " be in the world but not of the world. " Many

> of us

> spend a lifetime trying to master this one. Good luck! And remember,

> you

> can have anything you want...your present partner may not be what you

> really

> want. Only you know the truth of that question. Eddie

>