Re: the still-face

[Guest guest]

Oddly enough, I think that this typifies my cyclical patterns with

nada.

I know the look. At least, I should say that I think I do from this

horrible disgust that feels focused just below the the margin of my

rib cage, accompanied by what I might say is creepy or creaturely.

I notice the look of blank expression now that I've been away from

nada for several years. I used to wonder where she was in her head

and would ask what she was thinking about. Now that she's older,

the blank look is sometimes accompanied by a sort of single jolt of

nadas head followed by a moment of stillness in response to hearing

or seeing something that she cant face or consider.

My husband noticed nada doing it long before I ever said anything

about it. Especially in church, if I would happen to sing or speak,

or received an award, she stares blankly and then becomes withdrawn.

This is so creepy. I used to think it was anger that she was

struggling and concentrating to repress. Aparently, I've

mentioned " the look " to her in some delayed adolecent argument,

because she mentioned it in the sicko letter that she wrote this

summer.

Is this another common BP feature?

K

> Hi KOs,

>

> Below is a 2003 research study.

>

> 'Still-face' interactions between mothers with borderline

> personality disorder and their 2-month-old infants.

>

> BACKGROUND: There is evidence that psychopathology in mothers

> may be associated with dysfunctional mother-infant interactions.

>

> >

> METHOD: an episode when the

> mother adopted a 'still face' and was unreactive

> RESULTS: The mothers with borderline personality disorder were

> more intrusively insensitive towards their infants. During the

> still-face period, their infants showed increased looking away

> and dazed looks.

> Following this, mother-infant interactions were

> less satisfying and their infants showed dazed looks and

> lowering of affect.

>

>

> might suggest dysfunctional self-regulation, >>

[Guest guest]

We started noticing " the look " a few years ago in photos we had of

nada, and it felt strange. I only noticed it before when she had her

worst times in life and that is why I propably thought she was

psychotic, but she had the look otherwise too, like the pictures showed.

BM

>

> Oddly enough, I think that this typifies my cyclical patterns with

> nada.

>

> I know the look. At least, I should say that I think I do from this

> horrible disgust that feels focused just below the the margin of my

> rib cage, accompanied by what I might say is creepy or creaturely.

>

[Guest guest]

I think are you guys referring to that disassociated look?? ICK!

- jana (back after finals)

[Guest guest]

bigmoomin1 wrote:

> We started noticing " the look " a few years ago in photos we had of

> nada, and it felt strange. I only noticed it before when she had her

> worst times in life and that is why I propably thought she was

> psychotic, but she had the look otherwise too, like the pictures showed.

Hi BM,

Like Jana said, that " look " might be dissociation. My nada dissociated

when she raged. And, of course, with dissociation there is no memory of

that event later.

Definition: " Dissociation is the state in which, on some level or

another, one becomes somewhat removed from " reality, " whether this be

daydreaming, performing actions without being fully connected to their

performance ( " running on automatic " ), or other, more disconnected

actions. It is the opposite of " association " and involves the lack of

association, usually of one's identity, with the rest of the world. "

- Edith