Re:New, in tears

[Guest guest]

Staci wrote;

>am i in the right place?

It sure sounds like it. Welcome to the board. How did you find the

board? How did you find out your mom is BPD? Have you read any of the

books about BPD yet?

The behavior you describe certainly does sound like a BPD mother. You

may already know, here we call them nada which means " nothing " in

spanish. signifying " not a mother " . The way these people treat and

eat their young, they really cannot be classified as true mothers.

I feel for you. Sounds like your nada is very vindictive. She will

go to any length to control, punish and torture you emotionally. My

nada is a puzzle to me too, but I am understanding her more all the

time and slowly freeing myself from all the guilt, and anxiety she has

imposed on me. It feels really good. It is possible to get

unenmeshed from a nada but doesn't happen over night. It takes lots

of work and practice and keeping yourself on track with a really good

game plan. The plan to follow is outlined in Stop Walking on

Eggshells, and I liked Surviving a Borderline Parent.

The first concepts I understood that helped me were that I can't

change her, I am not responsible for her happiness or unhappiness and

she can only victimize me if I allow her to. Of course, there are

lots of other points I had to learn along the way too.

Keep posting. You will find lots of support and a familiar ring to

many of the posts here. You will not feel so alone and will gradually

not be so confused. You are entitled to a happy life of your own. Be

good to yourself.

Dee

[Guest guest]

dee,

thanks for the reply

i learned about this group from bpd central

i stumbled onto information about bpd after looking up mother-

daughter estragements on the internet.

i was amazed that so many of the traits sounded like my mother.

i have not yet read SWOE but i'm going to get it tomorrow!

why not start the new year on a positive note?

staci