An Open Letter to Ben Stiller

[Guest guest]

An Open Letter to Mr. Stiller,

Dear Mr. Stiller,

You hurt me today. Personally. I am writing to protest your action against me, I

am writing to hold you accountable. Not that I imagine you care, but I wish to

explain myself to you.

This afternoon I stopped at a local mall to do some shopping, I wanted to pick

up a birthday gift or two for a friend. After shopping I went to the food court

to have lunch. Food courts are wonderful places. One can dine on Mexican whilst

one's partner dines on Thai - they are places of such diversity. Around me were

representatives from many nations, colours and creeds. Around me were those with

varying faces, varying languages and varying abilities. I sat in my wheelchair,

across the way from me was a young mother with a child with Down Syndrome, over

there was a college kid dripping big words from the corner of his mouth. We were

an ecclectic bunch, we were.

A skinny girl and a chunky boy with long hair arrived alongside a geeky friend.

They were clearly in a playful mood, suddenly one said to the other, " There you

go, you went full retard. " My heart stopped. It was the first time I'd heard the

phrase spoken in common parlance. The first time, the phrase you wrote, you

created, you crafted, was spoken in my presence. I cannot tell you how much that

phrase hurt me. I cannot describe to you the look of pain on the face of the

woman who's child sat with her. A child, thankfully, not yet old enough to

understand the meanness of that statement. A child simple by age who will grow

complex with disability.

You hurt me a second time today, Mr. Stiller. I am writing to tell you, to hold

you responsible. I arrived home and saw on a website that it is now possible to

buy tee shirts with the phrase 'full retard' on it. You are responsible for this

Mr. Stiller, you wrote those words, you chose those words, you went public with

those words. It is you, and only you, who must bear the consequences for your

actions.

There are parents, Mr. Stiller, who have to send their children into schools in

only a few weeks. Hallways have never been welcoming places to those with

differences - even so, those hallways are now even more dangerous than they were

when they were abandoned for summer play. A new phrase will tickle the fancy of

the privileged and scar the selves of the different. 'Full retard,' this is your

creation. One you are no doubt proud of.

But I read interviews with you on the web. Interviews that explain that I 'don't

get it' that the humour is about shallow, self absorbed actors, not about people

with disabilities. Mr. Stiller, I submit to you that your reaction, your denial,

in the face of reasonable protest, reasonable requests and reasonable

explaination could only be the reaction of a shallow, self absorbed actor. A

person that cannot see beyond his need to express to the need of others to be

safe. A person that cannot understand protest as anything other than hysterics.

http://davehingsburger.blogspot.com

dear Mr. Stiller,

I tried to find a way to contact you, to write you personally, to tell you of

the pain I felt today, of the pain I fear tomorrow, and of the concerns of

millions of parents, millions of people with intellectual disabilities. I wanted

to tell you that you may make a few people laugh for a few hours but you will

undoubtably cause many more hours of pain and many more tears to be shed. But as

I could find no way to contact you, I resort to this, my blog. I hope that if

there are truly only six degrees of separation - that those six between you and

I - will get this to you.

Years ago, Mr. Stiller, I met a man with Down Syndrome who was in his late 30's.

I met with him because he would no longer leave his house. He abandoned his work

(yes, he held a job), he abandoned his friends (yes, he had friends), he

abandoned everything he loved and enjoyed in the community. Why? Because he had

decided that the world was a cruel place. That he no longer wanted to walk the

mean streets. That he never wanted to be called a 'tard again. He had had

enough. He would stay in and stay safe.

That was the world before you came into it. It was already bad. But now it is

worse. Much worse.

Tropic Thunder will make a lot of money, I'm sure. Box office and momentary

popularity is the goal, is it not? It is to shallow, self absorbed actors, so I

assume it is to you as well.

Godspeed,

Dave Hingsburger

said...

Thank you for writing this! Thank you for standing up for all of us! My son has

Down syndrome and I could very well have been that mother in the food court. Of

course, I might have just gone up and given a verbal lashing!

Here is the information for the production company and Ben Stiller, as taken

from the memo sent out yesterday:

Also if you would like to reach anyone of the people at DreamWorks,

Paramount/Vantage or Ben Stiller with your concerns, their names are above and

below are the main contacts for them.

DreamWorks

100 Universal City Plaza, Bldg. 5121, Universal City, CA 91608

Paramount/Vantage

5555 Melrose Ave., Ball/Lasky Bldgs., Los Angeles, CA 90038

Ben Stiller, Writer/Director/Producer

Read Hour Films, 629 N. La Brea, Los Angeles, CA 90036

8:22 AM