Re: Honor Thy Parents

[Guest guest]

Hi Dee,

I think because I kept equivocating under FOG pressure, I'd get

hoovered into the anti-woman submission garbage that the shepherding

and disciplship movement poisoned me with. I've only rationalized

my rights, but I didn't feel entitled.

As you well know, it's hard to not just punch up the automatic rules

when your in the thick of it.

Thanks.\\

Eventually I'll start believing the truth if I keep reading your

encouragement. (I was on the NonBP Christian site, but I felt like

things were very sugar coated. Perhaps because of all of the

distortion and misrepresentation of the truly good stuff, I felt

like it hindered more than it helped. Thanks for putting up with all

this stuff....)

K

-- In ModOasis , " gmat60 " <gmat60@y...> wrote:

>

> Just an opinion. I believe in honoring one's parents. When that

> parent is a BP, God, who is just, doesn't expect a child (of any

age)

> to be a doormat or a punching bag, or a reservoir for toxin. He

loves

> each of us equally and wants happiness for each. But he can't

serve

> it up on a platter and I figure he must have known I was strong

enough

> to survive BPD and even heal and have joy. He doesn't want me

stuck

> in the quagmire of BPD because that doesn't affect only me, but my

> spouse, my children and my grandchildren. We have the opportunity

and

> right to stop BPD in it's tracks and not send it on to another

> generation. My religious leader once said I had built a good

immune

> system against my nada, and to keep it in place. I know he

believes

> in " honoring thy parents " . This doesn't mean of course that we

have

> permission to be abusive to our parent, but we don't have to feel

> guilty for wanting to be healthy, what ever that takes.

> Dee

[Guest guest]

I had BP parents and knew something was wrong from a young age. I felt

tremendous guilt having to defy my parents to do the things that my head told me

were right. I felt this guilt because my parents played the " we wouldn't tell

you to not do what is best " parents card. My parents tried to get me not to take

final exams or save money because they knew that those things gave me power to

leave and they feared abandonment. They also told me that someday I would see

that they were right. This day has never come. They were selfish people who

often put their own needs above their two daughters. I had to only honor them

until they told me to do self-destructive things. It was very very hard to make

these decisions. Take care.

Otwoma

gmat60 wrote:

Just an opinion. I believe in honoring one's parents. When that

parent is a BP, God, who is just, doesn't expect a child (of any age)

to be a doormat or a punching bag, or a reservoir for toxin. He loves

each of us equally and wants happiness for each. But he can't serve

it up on a platter and I figure he must have known I was strong enough

to survive BPD and even heal and have joy. He doesn't want me stuck

in the quagmire of BPD because that doesn't affect only me, but my

spouse, my children and my grandchildren. We have the opportunity and

right to stop BPD in it's tracks and not send it on to another

generation. My religious leader once said I had built a good immune

system against my nada, and to keep it in place. I know he believes

in " honoring thy parents " . This doesn't mean of course that we have

permission to be abusive to our parent, but we don't have to feel

guilty for wanting to be healthy, what ever that takes.

Dee

Send questions and/or concerns to ModOasis-owner

" Stop Walking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs, can be ordered via

1-888-35-SHELL () and for the table of contents, go to:

http://www.BPDCentral.com

[Guest guest]

Hi,

So how, how do you seperate? If they're living rent free in your

head then you are green! I want to stop being green. It ain't easy

being green.

And to honor them you must seperate thier illness from who they are

but everytime you see them, they are thier illness. And why, why

don't I feel entitled? Why does my brother feel so entitled and I

don't feel entitled? Does this come from constantly trying to take

care of their needs? Does this come from believing that their

feelings are more important than my own? Does this come from thier

inability to validate my feelings? Is there supposed to be some

middle ground somewhere?

cntbreathe

> >

> > Just an opinion. I believe in honoring one's parents. When that

> > parent is a BP, God, who is just, doesn't expect a child (of any

> age)

> > to be a doormat or a punching bag, or a reservoir for toxin. He

> loves

> > each of us equally and wants happiness for each. But he can't

> serve

> > it up on a platter and I figure he must have known I was strong

> enough

> > to survive BPD and even heal and have joy. He doesn't want me

> stuck

> > in the quagmire of BPD because that doesn't affect only me, but my

> > spouse, my children and my grandchildren. We have the opportunity

> and

> > right to stop BPD in it's tracks and not send it on to another

> > generation. My religious leader once said I had built a good

> immune

> > system against my nada, and to keep it in place. I know he

> believes

> > in " honoring thy parents " . This doesn't mean of course that we

> have

> > permission to be abusive to our parent, but we don't have to feel

> > guilty for wanting to be healthy, what ever that takes.

> > Dee

[Guest guest]

> And why, why

> don't I feel entitled? Why does my brother feel so entitled and I

> don't feel entitled?

Never underestimate the power of the lessons that a sexist society

teaches women and girls all too well. (Even when the sexism is

unconscious/unintentional, the effects are very real.)

~journeywork