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> When we have some pattern buried deeply within us, we

> must become aware of it in order to heal the condition.

> Perhaps we begin to mention the condition, to complain

> about it or to see it in other people. It rises to the

> surface of our attention in some way, and we begin to

> relate to it. We often attract a teacher, a friend, a class

> or workshop or a book to ourselves that begins to awaken

> new ways to approach the dissolving of the problem.

***See, that SEED. Amazing! It's always there, it depends on whether

we acknowledge it and WHAT we *choose* to do with it.

> Now is the time to acknowledge our responsibility in

> having created the situation or condition. I'm not talking

> about having guilt, nor about being a " bad person " for

> being where you are. I am saying to acknowledge the " power

> within you " that transforms our every thought into

> experience. In the past we unknowingly used this power to

> create things we did not want to experience. We were not

> aware of what we were doing. Now, by acknowledging our

> responsibility, we *become* aware and learn to use this

> power consciously in positive ways for our benefit.

*** " Responsibility " . That has become a primary word for me.

***Ok, for those of you who are interesting in bible

matters,...isn't it interesting that Adam and Eve were expelled from

the garden only after having blamed everyone but themselves. So what

really keeps us from " paradise " , our mistakes and/or ignorance,..or

what we DO once we they are pointed out or we recognize them

ourselves? They didnt take responsibility. Surely they could have

easily have been expelled the moment the offense was made. They

stood before the Creator and were given an opportunity,...they

weren't accused, they were asked a question. The answer is what

indicated what the right actions would be for the given situation.

Would beinteresting to see how the story would have rea dhad they

taken responsibility. Actually,..I think that's there too, when we

read the stories where a person DID take responsibility. The

pattern continues all through the lessons contained in the stories.

What gave a person character was not the absense of faults or

sin,..it's what they DID about it,..IF they did anything about it.

And if they didn't know WHAT to do about it, they asked for help.

Whether one is " religious " or not, beleives in the bible or not,

everywhere we look in esteemed ancient writings of all sorts (that

seed recognizes something in them on a universal level) the wise men

that went before us (our forefathers) have left us clues as to what

the path should LOOK like. There are foundational truths that are

identical and universally present in almost every religion we have.

I beleive that those same truths are also mirrored in the basic

concepts of psychology and the sciences,...though it may be hard to

see because the concepts are represented in material

respresentations. It's there, it just gets lost or overlooked

because of our human propensity to put pet PARTS of it as a focus,

somtimes greatly and dangerously out of proportion to the whole.

That's what " doctrine " is to me,..pet parts of the whole being put

into focus,..sometimes dangerously out of balance with the rest of

it. BALANCE,..another primary word for me. Isn't that the basic

missing component behind " splitting " , the black and white thinking

of BPD?

I hope I haven't offended anyone here, I AM feeling philosophical

today, lol. Just sharing my thoughts from the heart, in a way I find

most pleasing and rewarding, writing ,..to REAL people and inviting

the reward and insights that can come from the FEEDBACK,..something

diaries and journals can't do. I also find it lacking because it's

also really hard to develope a relationship with them (jouranls and

diaries), it's so dysfunctional in that it's always so one

sided. ;0) Anyway, my intent is NOT really to preach, just share

where I'm at right now in my perceptions and some of my conclussions

thus far,..subject to change of course. :0) Maybe some of you can

relate, maybe some of you can't. Take what you need/want and leave

the rest. :0)

> We give our power to others and use that excuse as our

> resistance to changing. We have ideas like:

***Yes, we give our power to others when we blame.

> God doesn't approve.

> I'm waiting for the stars to say it's okay.

> This isn't the right environment.

> They won't let me change.

> I don't have the right teacher/book/class/tools.

> My doctor doesn't want me to.

> I can't get time off work.

> I don't want to be under their spell.

> It's all their fault.

> They have to change first.

> As soon as I get _________, I'll do it.

> You/they don't understand.

> I don't want to hurt them.

> It's against my upbringing, religion, philosophy.

>

:0)

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Yes !!!!!! Thanks, Hope !

But ...... Seriously and without taking anything away from the

wonderful words you said..... Something else seems needing to be said.

Let me think about this. What is missing ? I think it is that my

conviction, still, really, deep down that I am worthless , crazy,non-

deserving (you name it) is not just a head thing. It is imprinted on

my soul somehow and I have to work out how to get it off. If only it

was a simple as plain crooked thinking !

Kit

> Hi Kit and all :-)

>

> Here are some more thoughts on what it means to recognize,

> acknowledge, and use your power.

>

> Hope

>

> --- from " You Can Heal Your Life " by Louise L. Hay

> © 1984,1987

> Hay House Inc., CA......

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Hi ,

Your mulling over things didn't offend me. I like hearing people's

musings as I am always mulling over and musing myself and I find it

helpful to hear other people's ideas. What bothers me is idle, unreal

chit chat, power games and sheer nastiness - and you certainly didn't

do any of that.

Kit

>

>

> > When we have some pattern buried deeply within us, we

> > must become aware of it in order to heal the condition....

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> Yes !!!!!! Thanks, Hope !

>

> But ...... Seriously and without taking anything away from the

> wonderful words you said..... Something else seems needing to be

said. Let me think about this. What is missing ? I think it is that

my conviction, still, really, deep down that I am worthless ,

crazy,non- deserving (you name it) is not just a head thing. It is

imprinted on my soul somehow and I have to work out how to get it

off. If only it was a simple as plain crooked thinking !

***Hi Kit,

Have you ever read anything about the first couple years of human

developement and the importance of bonding? This thing you mention,

about it being imprinted on your soul sounds so much like what is

described as the impact of poor bonding,..not being worth (the

attention, feeding, diapering, eye contact, playing, etc). I mention

it because it might be that direction that might help you find the

tools to " fix " (for lack of better words) this deep feeling. Try

searches on Attachment Disorder and Attachment Bonding. I've also

seen but haven't yet investigated, a term called " Re-Parenting " . I'm

not saying you have " Attachment disorder " , you sound far from that.

I'm saying the clue for healing might lay in what they know about

what's more likely to help in the EXTREME cases.

Victroria :0)

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> I think it is that

> my conviction, still, really, deep down that I am worthless ,

> crazy,non- deserving (you name it) is not just a head thing. It is

> imprinted on my soul somehow and I have to work out how to get it

> off. If only it was a simple as plain crooked thinking !

I know how you feel. my whole life nada told me these things ( I was

worthless, no one would love me, I was stupid, ugly etc) It's taken a long

time, but when I turned 40, I decided it was a turning point in my life. I

KNEW nada was wrong about me, and if she couldn't see it, that's HER loss.

I had wonderful friends, and a great husband to help me get through. I

still feel worthless/unloved at times, then I have to remind myself of what

I DO have in life and what I HAVE accomplished...

Jackie

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