Guest guest Posted July 27, 2004 Report Share Posted July 27, 2004 I don't need to be right as much as I struggle with not getting my own way! I never even realized that I did that until I joined a 12 step group and other people were saying that they did that and explained how it's a " character defect " . They ask their HP to remove the defect -- and do daily inventories to see if any " defects " are keeping them from following the path they want to follow. Barb In a message dated 7/27/04 3:02:27 AM Eastern Daylight Time, journeyworksf@... writes: > > Does anyone else struggle with the need to be right about everything? > I'm *far* less of a perfectionist than I used to be, but let's just say > this continues to be a growth point for me. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 27, 2004 Report Share Posted July 27, 2004 > Does anyone else struggle with the need to be right about everything? > I'm *far* less of a perfectionist than I used to be, but let's just say > this continues to be a growth point for me. no, but I have the need to " prove " everything. My nada never seemed to believe me, so I've always felt if I contribute anything to any conversation, I need to have the proven facts in my possession, otherwise I don't feel comfortable contributing Jackie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 27, 2004 Report Share Posted July 27, 2004 I guess I have struggled with this too, although until you mentioned it, I never gave it too much thought. However, I have noticed changes in my attitude about this over my lifetime. At the root of it for me is that being right is a kind of validation. If I am right, then I must also be worthwhile. With this kind of 'logic', being right becomes very important. But I think I have flipped it around too. My concerns weren't for being right, but for not being wrong. So when I was right, I didn't think about it very much. But when I was wrong, well, that could really put me into a tailspin of feeling worthless. Sylvia > Does anyone else struggle with the need to be right about everything? > I'm *far* less of a perfectionist than I used to be, but let's just say > this continues to be a growth point for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 27, 2004 Report Share Posted July 27, 2004 smhtrain2 wrote: > I guess I have struggled with this too, although until you mentioned > it, I never gave it too much thought. However, I have noticed > changes in my attitude about this over my lifetime. At the root of > it for me is that being right is a kind of validation. If I am > right, then I must also be worthwhile. With this kind of 'logic', > being right becomes very important. But I think I have flipped it > around too. My concerns weren't for being right, but for not being > wrong. So when I was right, I didn't think about it very much. But > when I was wrong, well, that could really put me into a tailspin of > feeling worthless. Hi Sylvia, Yes. And do you notice the 'splitting' effect here into " all good " vs " all bad " or " acceptable " vs " all bad " . We KOs learned (ie, its a flea) to split ourSelf all bad and we also learned how to beat ourSelf up pretty good, too. But we don't need to do any of that stuff any more. That was our nada's job. - Edith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 27, 2004 Report Share Posted July 27, 2004 I guess I don't know if it's about being RIGHT, as much as it is about NOT being wrong. There is a difference to me, even if they both mean the same thing. When I remember something, I don't just have fuzzy images, I remember every little detail with surprising accuracy. So if that is questioned, and someone suggests something I remember to not be true, then I can't accept that I'm wrong otherwise I'd have to question my memories which just is unacceptable to me (considering nada with all her 'selective' and 'imagined' memories). But I can definitely come off as a know-it-all. When I was a teenager my mom told me that nobody likes me because I always have to be right. That was one time that she said something that hurt me because I believed it. I do have to be right. I don't see the point is opening my mouth if what i say isn't true, accurate, and honest. But I will be the first to admit I'm wrong if proven so. > > > Does anyone else struggle with the need to be right about > everything? > > I'm *far* less of a perfectionist than I used to be, but let's just > say > > this continues to be a growth point for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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