Re: NY TIMES Opinion article titled Marketing Disorder: on the short, strange career of Ransom Notes

[Guest guest]

I hope I am not harping on this whole family solidarity thing and

perhaps my suggestion is unobtainable but for clarification i wanted to

say this.

The Dx handed down from the medical community was a condemnation of my

family, my child and even my marriage at the time. All carried out

by " well meaning " folk. My case is not singular and many families were

severed in a similar fashion.

Parents(first)are the ones most in need of counceling to work through

their feelings (to find their place as a true advocate) so that they

can guide their child (or themselves) in a pragmatic way. Perception is

in my estimation half the battle.

It is my belief that this may be accomplished by Aspie advisors. One

on one or in a session situation and I have found this is not a one

shot deal.

As raven and Tom and have suggested perhaps parents need to be

screened so that they can fit in their own skin before advocating for a

child. What the media, the dr's and the Psycologists have done is

damage the family unit.

Many here have shown that we understand and care for blood relations

(even when those we are related to strain and stress us). Here on this

forum it is strongly resonated that family for better or worse is

family: --> Form is form.

Aspies should be part of the process even the trail blazers (one of the

reasons I wanted a degree) What all the well meaning groups are failing

to do is ask the horse if it is thirsty. How can we be excluded from

the discussion... It is not us that should join their cause but them

that should see that they should join those whom know themselves best

(people) that have passed through the eye of the needle and have gained

wisdom to pass unto others, and not as a be all end all but in an way

to become partners

As with Tom and Raven who sought to learn the language of one another

(from a culture perspective) so too do Typical people have to be

willing to learn from Aspies and not just the other way around.

what good is it that Ravi learn all the rules when it is just so noone

ever has to accomidate him? Why do we have to be trained monkeys?

When our caring peers seem to be able to stomp all over the rules when

ever they feel like but we must adhere. even on this forum

accomidation has been made for me on several occasions. My odd way of

writing. I have a point but one has to work(unfortunately) to get what

I am saying. In person I am a bit more articulate(my compensative

methods at work)

But I digress. Why must we submit to all manner of ethnic diversity

but not be allowed to assimilate ourselves, why is it ok that the

medical community never extend their hand and view ours as unworthy of

touch. (another reference) Must we accept any job even when we

are asked to do half the work and the contractor only wants the easy

task and the money?? (the medical community being the contractors who

are willing to only give shoddy workmanship(but whom desire all the

glory) Read G'd like adoration, as the ones that have reformed our

malshaped psyches with fancy side-effect filled possibly fatal drugs.

Well enough rambling please let me know how others feel Mimi

..

[Guest guest]

" Well enough rambling please let me know how others feel. "

I feel you are correct in all that you have said. With many parents, I

seem to hear a refrain, though the words may be different each time,

and that refrain is always " My kid needs to be changed. "

Then when we tell them what works best, they turn elsewhere to hear

what they want to hear, which is usually " Thus us what you need to do

to turn your child into who you want him to be. "

Many times doctors andpsychologists help them.

Tom

Administrator

[Guest guest]

" As raven and Tom and have suggested perhaps parents need to be

screened so that they can fit in their own skin before advocating for

a child. "

I am not sure if I did suggest that, but then I might have done.

However I am aware that there are many out there who have their own

idea of 'help', I think you may have been getting at this? Where they

just assume they know what is best for another without asking the

person in quesion. It smacks of arrogance for a start and even when

one is able to speak for theirselves I have actually been told by

some that I can't possibly know what I want/need as I have a

disability (sheesh).

I may have Aspergers, but that does not stop me being able to reason,

think and also be aware of what I do and don't need and I certainly

don't need someone telling me I don't know what I need!

It also seem to me to be a form of dominance, that some use 'help'

more as a weapon than actual real help. Like some are determined they

are going to 'help' you whether you want it or not and the help is

not always exactly helpful - I'd say in some cases it detrimental;

but then of course it feels that one is not allowed to complain,

because for a start ones thoughts and wishes/needs, etc are often

dismissed and those that are doing the 'helping' can also turn around

and call you ungrateful for daring not to want their help (madness).

Well they are some of my thoughts anyways (for the moment). Still

full of cold, but surviving :-)

>

> I hope I am not harping on this whole family solidarity thing and

> perhaps my suggestion is unobtainable but for clarification i

wanted to

> say this.

> The Dx handed down from the medical community was a condemnation of

my

> family, my child and even my marriage at the time. All carried out

> by " well meaning " folk. My case is not singular and many families

were

> severed in a similar fashion.

> Parents(first)are the ones most in need of counceling to work

through

> their feelings (to find their place as a true advocate) so that

they

> can guide their child (or themselves) in a pragmatic way.

Perception is

> in my estimation half the battle.

> It is my belief that this may be accomplished by Aspie advisors.

One

> on one or in a session situation and I have found this is not a one

> shot deal.

> As raven and Tom and have suggested perhaps parents need to

be

> screened so that they can fit in their own skin before advocating

for a

> child. What the media, the dr's and the Psycologists have done is

> damage the family unit.

> Many here have shown that we understand and care for blood relations

> (even when those we are related to strain and stress us). Here on

this

> forum it is strongly resonated that family for better or worse is

> family: --> Form is form.

>

> Aspies should be part of the process even the trail blazers (one of

the

> reasons I wanted a degree) What all the well meaning groups are

failing

> to do is ask the horse if it is thirsty. How can we be excluded

from

> the discussion... It is not us that should join their cause but

them

> that should see that they should join those whom know themselves

best

> (people) that have passed through the eye of the needle and have

gained

> wisdom to pass unto others, and not as a be all end all but in an

way

> to become partners

>

> As with Tom and Raven who sought to learn the language of one

another

> (from a culture perspective) so too do Typical people have to be

> willing to learn from Aspies and not just the other way around.

> what good is it that Ravi learn all the rules when it is just so

noone

> ever has to accomidate him? Why do we have to be trained monkeys?

> When our caring peers seem to be able to stomp all over the rules

when

> ever they feel like but we must adhere. even on this forum

> accomidation has been made for me on several occasions. My odd way

of

> writing. I have a point but one has to work(unfortunately) to get

what

> I am saying. In person I am a bit more articulate(my compensative

> methods at work)

>

> But I digress. Why must we submit to all manner of ethnic

diversity

> but not be allowed to assimilate ourselves, why is it ok that the

> medical community never extend their hand and view ours as unworthy

of

> touch. (another reference) Must we accept any job even

when we

> are asked to do half the work and the contractor only wants the

easy

> task and the money?? (the medical community being the contractors

who

> are willing to only give shoddy workmanship(but whom desire all the

> glory) Read G'd like adoration, as the ones that have reformed our

> malshaped psyches with fancy side-effect filled possibly fatal

drugs.

>

> Well enough rambling please let me know how others feel Mimi

>

>

> .

>

[Guest guest]

Mmmmmmmmm it's a shame they can't just be honest from the outset and

say 'I don't like my kid the way he/she is, I don't considrer them

normal and I want to force them into a mould I consider normal'

although of course I doubt many would actually come straight out and

say this, but I see such coming out bit by bit with some. Some may

feign false feelings, but eventually how they truly feel generally

comes out.

Beaware of the term 'normalisation' that one makes me shudder and it

is psycologists and other so called professionals that are using such

terms. Even more scary when I see people just accepting such and not

questioning it - alhough I've noticed they don't tend to like the

questioning.

>

> " Well enough rambling please let me know how others feel. "

>

> I feel you are correct in all that you have said. With many

parents, I

> seem to hear a refrain, though the words may be different each

time,

> and that refrain is always " My kid needs to be changed. "

>

> Then when we tell them what works best, they turn elsewhere to hear

> what they want to hear, which is usually " Thus us what you need to

do

> to turn your child into who you want him to be. "

>

> Many times doctors andpsychologists help them.

>

> Tom

> Administrator

>