Re: Gaslighting - Dee

[Guest guest]

> Whenever I was with her I would come away feeling I was dishonest

for not challenging some of her statements as they were so obviously

> untrue.

Yes, me too. And dirty, somehow, like I had betrayed everything

important about myself just by being with her and keeping my mouth

shut.

> She had a sign in her TV room she had moved around until it

> was impossible to ignore. It said " Live long enough to be a

>problem to your children " I told her I knew she thought it was

>funny but I and my sisters could see nothing funny about it as it

>seemed to us to be her motto. She took the sign down.

Goodness if that's not a nada motto LOL! Not funny at all that she

did that, but funny that she took it down when nobody found it funny.

> After telling her those things, I have felt much better knowing

>>when she dies at least she will know how I feel.

Good for you, Dee. I bet that feels good, knowing that even if it

doesn't change anything, you stood up for yourself. When I read

about people here who write letters to their nadas it sounds so

validating, and I'm glad that we at least have some means to provide

resolution for ourselves, with or without nada's approval/knowledge.

> I am happier than I have ever been in my life and

> relationship with her. I feel free for the first time. It's ok

for me to have a good time with my children and grandchildren and

not feel guilty that she isn't included.

Amen to that! I keep finding more joy and happiness as I live apart

from her. When hubby and I talked about starting a family recently,

the only part about it that made me feel dread was whenever I

thought about nada's involvement. Without her in my life, I think it

might actually be something I could do .