new, in tears, wondering if i even belong here

[Guest guest]

hi

i'm staci

i'm here because i seem to be experiencing a relationship with a BP

mother.

or am i?

sometimes she is so nice and then sometimes absolutely unbearable.

we are beginning to reconcile after a painful, two-month estrangement.

we just do not seem to get along, and i feel (as does she) that it is

my fault.

or is it?

actually, all i feel is confusion, and that has been the story of my

life.

i don't even know where to begin, or how to describe her.

she is intense; she needs her demands met immediately.

she has always used guilt to control my actions, to get me to do what

she wants me to do.

she is critical, but not judicious; in other words, she does not ever

hold back from criticizing me, and by extension, my husband.

she is intensely attached to my 1-year-old daughter, and has accused

me, both directly and indirectly, of not caring for her properly.

she has also made faces behind my back, in front of others, when i

have taken the baby from her, and has told me that she will leave the

baby money in a trust, of which my brother will be the trustee, as i

am incapable, since my husband will probably convince me to take the

money out and give it to him.

she has told me that i am completely cut out of her will, and she has

given me the silent treatment for a week, anytime i have expressed

annoyance at her intense behavior.

a lifelong smoker, she is ill with emphysema and rheumatoid

arthritis, and has told me numerous times she wants to kill herself,

yet she refuses to quit smoking.

she has written me emails telling me i am a terrible person, cold and

uncaring, and that she cannot imagine how she could have raised such

a person.

etc., etc.

my perspective feels completely skewed.

am i in the right place?