Guest guest Posted July 6, 2004 Report Share Posted July 6, 2004 < Hi Edith! <That makes sense in my situation, because brother and I grew up with no <physical violence of any kind. None. And, mother definitely wasn't <NPD, just BPD. <SmileS! <Carol Im glad someone mentioned that. I am going to ask my therapist and my pychiatrist about that. maybe it would be helpfull for me to read up on NPD. I havent given it much research but my nada was a ranting, physically abusive Godzilla . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 6, 2004 Report Share Posted July 6, 2004 Hi, My mother slapped my face once when I was in high school because I called her a bitch. I was spanked though as a young child. (BTW she was being a bitch.) I see the NPD thing in my in-laws. My husband said his mother hit him and my sister-in-law slapped her youngest son's face when we were visiting once. Thank goodness we didn't have to visit them very much. Lark > > > From what I've read over the past 8 years, > > it seems that NPDs tend more toward hitting and physical violence than BPDs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 6, 2004 Report Share Posted July 6, 2004 << Our mama cat slapped several of her children as well as verbally reprimanding them to Keep them out of the road in front of our house. >> I had a mama cat who cuffed my children when they were very small, to keep them out of trouble and to teach them respect for cats. I watched her carefully, and saw that her cuffing was carefully graded, starting with a light tap. She never used claws and never made them cry. I don't think this kind of behavior can be related to spanking. - Dan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 7, 2004 Report Share Posted July 7, 2004 > It seems to me that the small child would soon learn that one danger > is mom or dad's hand if they do something percieved by thier parents > as being " wrong. " *** First of all it depends on whether the child is old enough to understand what the word no is. Why allow a child to get hurt just because mom or dad can't always be there? Such as Mom is nursing or bathing a little sibling. Mom has taken the scissors away from the 2 year old 15 times that morning already & put them in a different high up place every time. 2 year old can get anywhere & into anything they want to. 2 year old gets scissors again & tries to run from mommy again. Its time to bust a butt & say " NO Scissors! " Having said this statement already 15 times that morning. One should never have to repeat that 15 times & there are kids that never listen the first time. Don't tell me that the scissors should be put under lock & key because I am not carrying around 100 keys all day. One swat on the behind should be sufficient to let child know that you mean it. I had a 2 year old that could get into the highest spots in my house. I called her my little monkey & the sibling that was nursing was just as good at climbing as she was when he got to be that age. There are even more dangers than that to worry about also. > > > So, the smaller, more helpless and less able to defend themselves > they are, and the more they think the parent is a god who knows > everything, the more appropriate it is to hit them? This seems a > little backwards to me. *** First of all, Lets use some common sense here. I would never swat a child under the age of 2 for any reason. Secondly, I said in an earlier email that one should pick their battles wisely. I also said that spanking should be reserved for the really serious stuff. So your statement is totally way off base & is acting like no common sense is in use at any time while raising little ones. That is totally untrue. > > It is not " OK " to hit adults either. In fact, that is against the > law, people can be arrested and put in jail for doing that (same > should be true for hitting children IMO.) There are so many other > ways to deal with situations, conflict and disagreements besides > infringing on anyone's (adult or child or any other living thing for > that matter) right to not be hit, that it just seems bizarre that > people still think it's OK. *** First of all, if I am in public & some Lecher will not keep his hands off my ass, my boobs, or any other private area, (this has happened in my past) I have the perfect right to hit that S.O.B. just as hard as I can. I am not talking about law here, I am talking about my moral right. My guaranteed right to defend myself against an enemy. but regardless I am not going to continue to let him grope me while I am waiting for the police. I have also had someone attack me with a knife, should I have let them stab me while I waited for the cops to show up? I don't think so. I would have been dead. Just because something is against the law doesn't mean that others won't break the law to harm you. If they are trespassing that is okay to wait for the law to come & rescue your property. If they are trying to do you bodily harm in some way, Anyone would be a daxx fool to let them have their way until the cops come. I am not about to say " Excuse me, but I think you have your hand on my ______, get it off. If they have made it to adulthood without being killed off, they know to keep their hands off someone else when they don't have permission. Someone does not have to be in an unsafe area or inappropriate area in order to have bad things happen to them. I seem to attract the suckers & I don't even have to leave town. experience, it is entirely possible and not that > difficult to keep children safe and correct thier behavior without > hitting them, humiliating them, or otherwise emotionally, mentally or > physically harming them, even very small children. There are so many > books, websites, and other resources to find information on parenting > effectively without hitting, that there's just no reason not to learn > a better way. How anyone could look at a trusting innocent little > face and want to hit that child is beyond me. **** First of all there was no internet that was accessible to me when I was raising my kids. Books are like our discussion, there are many out there, but they all differ in opinion. I chose Just a few out there & I did use them. Considering what I knew about child care before hand I think I did a daxx good job of raising my children. They're not theives, liars, cheats, lawbreakers, & they are happy well adjusted children. I had a psychologist tell me so. Secondly we are not talking about innocent little faces. We are talking about situations dangerous to kids. And yes, I could swat a little behind to keep them safe. But you said " WANT to hit " a child didn't you? Well first of all, I don't believe that any parents want to hit a child. I consider it a necessary evil when it is a " have to " situation. Swatting is also different than hitting. A swat goes on the behind & is just hard enough to let them know you mean business & is usually only once or twice.Hitting is also different than spanking. When I spank the child is usually older than 5 & has learned quite a bit about what is dangerous & what is not, but refuses to pay attention. I will never change my mind & I doubt that you will. They went through this fad of no spanking many years ago & they ended up with more children & adults in the psychiatrists office, more suicides, & etc. There are many more worse ways of correcting a child than by spanking their butts. I find those ways more abusive & ignorant than spanking their behinds and I don't intend to discuss those as I am sure that you can use your imagination. Debbie ------------------------------------------- > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 7, 2004 Report Share Posted July 7, 2004 Edith, What the school teacher did was abuse. It could have broken your hand or messed up the muscles, joints, or anything along those lines. I am sure that she could have found a corner for you or perhaps some extra school work, if you deserved punishment. Debbie Re: Re: spanking > Oh yeah, and I just remembered... > > I attended a country school and had the same teacher in grades 5-8. She > used to whack me, repeatedly and hard across the knuckles of my extended > hands, with an 18-inch ruler when she " needed to punish me " . My claim to > fame: As hard as she tried, she could NEVER get me to cry. It was much > worse at home. > > I don't remember being a bad kid and I can't remember now what I was > punished by her for but I have these huge knuckles to remind me of her > brutality. <sigh> > > - Edith > > > Edith wrote: > > > anyrae wrote: > > > >>... How anyone could look at a trusting innocent little > >>face and want to hit that child is beyond me. > > > > > > > > Send questions and/or concerns to ModOasis-owner > " Stop Walking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs, can be ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL () and for the table of contents, go to: > http://www.BPDCentral.com > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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