Progress/lonewolf

[Guest guest]

Kere, I enjoyed your email. It was very encouraging to hear of your success

and courage in setting and maintaining your boundaries. I have gone in circles

with the no contact concept by myself. (Thank goodness I'm not alone, now!)

Like you, I notice the most peace and clarity when I maintain NC with mom &

FOO, but it's sometimes tough to do. I also have the most empathy and sympathy

with my mom the longer I'm away from her and I identify with her less and less.

This is a very good thing, although people not in touch with borderline

issues -- (or with my mom!) -- might not understand the harshness of no

contact.

The harshness of borderling parents is such a well-concealed thing sometimes.

The support of the folks at this site will be crucial to my staying away and

not getting enmeshed in the " mamadrama. " It was very funny, the anecdote about

the casserole. My ma is sooo like that about things--can't let anything go and

gets all-controlling and offended for petty reasons.

[Guest guest]

Hi Toypickle and Kere (Kerrie) and Everyone,

Toypickle, thanks for the encouraging uplifting emails

and support for what we're all going thru. (I'll

respond to your emails later, they evoke so much

thought and reflection, I have to compose something on

a " deeper level. " )

When I read the anecdote about the casserole Kere, it

kept bringing up the same kind of memory for me too.

I remember when nada had just met by dh to-be and had

threatened to kick him in the nuts (nada's idea of

intimacy LOL). We went back to house of nada and it

was dinnertime.

I had given up red meat 10 years prior to this, but

never told nada. I knew she would go bonkers and have

a tantrum. Well, this night nada made a

" casserole " ...

As nada screamed.... " BAKED ZITI WITH MEEEAAAT! " I

explained to nada that I did not eat read meat becuase

it flared up my arthritis and nada went bonkers.

Oh well, just another endearing dinnertime anecdote in

the house of nada. During my last conversations with

nada before I went NC, I cheeringly told her how I

like to make pizza dough from scratch and make a

different pizza every night. She is flaming angry

with me for having pizza (my favorite food in the

whole world) nightly - even though dh loves it too!

She raises her voice and says with sarcasm and

disapproval: " Pizza AGAIN, Lula?...You have pizza

EVERY NIGHT?...Is that ALL you have in your

life?...GET A JOB (office job) Lula...You'll NEVER

make any money doing what you do (art). "

One time, I did manage to call her back and politely

tell her: " My life is not a mistake. " Of course, she

hung up on me. Only had one conversation with her

since then, when she phoned me, a week later, after

the witch regrouped and belittled my life with " loving

concern. "

Hugs,

Lula

--- Toypickle@... wrote:

It was

> very funny, the anecdote about

> the casserole. My ma is sooo like that about

> things--can't let anything go and

> gets all-controlling and offended for petty reasons.

>

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>

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