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Re: Nada has really lost it this time-

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Hi ,

The theatrics of a Histrionic-Witch nada can take my breath away...still.

These nadas will stop at nothing to 'prove' that they were/are perfect

mother's, and willingly sacrifice every shred of affection and trust between

themselves and their 'bad child' to be 'right'. With ostentatious displays of

tears, self-deprecating rages, and much self-inflicted emotional suffering

they

solicit sympathy. But know that those who sympathize with her do so for a

variety of their own reasons; some out of fear that their own child might one

day become independent of controlling, or out of fear that nada might even turn

that awful anger toward them, and some simply because nodding agreement is

easier than thinking. The relatives and friends who are taken in will not

come to you when they finally see; they will likely 'stay low' and protect

themselves. Their failure to support us isn't about us/you or me/at all; not

about what they thought of us before or since nada's campaign to destroy our

support system. As small as it may sound, it is just human beings trying to

save

themselves. It's painful to 'lose' them, particularly in this way; but

they will try to remain neutral in most circumstances...use that to keep in

contact with your family.

Histrionic-Witch nadas are unpredictable, manipulative, and can be the worst

sort to try to defend yourself against. They are cunning, intelligent, and

seem to persevere for decades on any perceived slight. I believe they are

unredeemable.

My H-W nada has enlisted every member of my FOO, extended family, and even

the checkout people at the grocery store where we both shop to pity her

plight...her inability to correct a disobedient/disrespectful...you already know

all of the pseudonyms for 'got her own life' daughter. Her goal is to 'save'

me; but we both know the game...she is trying to salvage what she can of her

own self-esteem. All I want is to be left alone; and that infuriates her to

awful rage.

Wish I could offer a solution, but have found none for myself. I enforce

no-contact, have for years. Hugs, Carol

In a message dated 5/12/2005 4:48:43 PM Pacific Standard Time,

brokerubyslippers@... writes:

So much has happened the past few days, but there is one thing I

have to share now. When I told nada not to call or visit work 3

months ago, she was angry that day, but she has not come near me

since. I have very lucky, and even started to think she must be

improving.

Boy, was I delusional.

Turns out nada is not doing well with my estrangement AT ALL. Not

only was she upset on M-day (when I did nothing), but she is

apparently telling EVERYONE what I did to her. This includes the

immediate family, of course, and also the extended family who is " on

her side " - you know, her sister and mother. She is ALSO, though,

telling the " all-bad " extended family!! And family friends!! And she

is telling them all what I did to her, and how it's so wrong and

playing the martyr to the hilt.

Here is the best part: she has suddenly undertaken a campaign

to " cure " ME!!!! She is currently organizing a DAY OF PRAYER AND

FASTING FOR MY HEALING, because someone told her that prayer and

fasting works to uproot the bitterness that I am feeding on.

HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF SOMETHING SO ABSURD?????!!!!! I am doing

better than ever. My depression is lifting and my panic attacks are

become much less common and less intense. I FINALLY have a life like

a healthy 25-year old woman - a job, friends, an actual social life,

and even romantic possibilitis. I am working my butt off in therapy.

I have NEVER been closer to God or felt more sure that what I am

doing, though He would never desire a daughter needing to leave her

mother, is aok with Him. I feel more understanding and compassionate

towards my nada than ever, and am even seeing glimmers of

forgiveness. And so now she is organizing this!

Argh,

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