Guest guest Posted May 12, 2005 Report Share Posted May 12, 2005 Hi , The theatrics of a Histrionic-Witch nada can take my breath away...still. These nadas will stop at nothing to 'prove' that they were/are perfect mother's, and willingly sacrifice every shred of affection and trust between themselves and their 'bad child' to be 'right'. With ostentatious displays of tears, self-deprecating rages, and much self-inflicted emotional suffering they solicit sympathy. But know that those who sympathize with her do so for a variety of their own reasons; some out of fear that their own child might one day become independent of controlling, or out of fear that nada might even turn that awful anger toward them, and some simply because nodding agreement is easier than thinking. The relatives and friends who are taken in will not come to you when they finally see; they will likely 'stay low' and protect themselves. Their failure to support us isn't about us/you or me/at all; not about what they thought of us before or since nada's campaign to destroy our support system. As small as it may sound, it is just human beings trying to save themselves. It's painful to 'lose' them, particularly in this way; but they will try to remain neutral in most circumstances...use that to keep in contact with your family. Histrionic-Witch nadas are unpredictable, manipulative, and can be the worst sort to try to defend yourself against. They are cunning, intelligent, and seem to persevere for decades on any perceived slight. I believe they are unredeemable. My H-W nada has enlisted every member of my FOO, extended family, and even the checkout people at the grocery store where we both shop to pity her plight...her inability to correct a disobedient/disrespectful...you already know all of the pseudonyms for 'got her own life' daughter. Her goal is to 'save' me; but we both know the game...she is trying to salvage what she can of her own self-esteem. All I want is to be left alone; and that infuriates her to awful rage. Wish I could offer a solution, but have found none for myself. I enforce no-contact, have for years. Hugs, Carol In a message dated 5/12/2005 4:48:43 PM Pacific Standard Time, brokerubyslippers@... writes: So much has happened the past few days, but there is one thing I have to share now. When I told nada not to call or visit work 3 months ago, she was angry that day, but she has not come near me since. I have very lucky, and even started to think she must be improving. Boy, was I delusional. Turns out nada is not doing well with my estrangement AT ALL. Not only was she upset on M-day (when I did nothing), but she is apparently telling EVERYONE what I did to her. This includes the immediate family, of course, and also the extended family who is " on her side " - you know, her sister and mother. She is ALSO, though, telling the " all-bad " extended family!! And family friends!! And she is telling them all what I did to her, and how it's so wrong and playing the martyr to the hilt. Here is the best part: she has suddenly undertaken a campaign to " cure " ME!!!! She is currently organizing a DAY OF PRAYER AND FASTING FOR MY HEALING, because someone told her that prayer and fasting works to uproot the bitterness that I am feeding on. HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF SOMETHING SO ABSURD?????!!!!! I am doing better than ever. My depression is lifting and my panic attacks are become much less common and less intense. I FINALLY have a life like a healthy 25-year old woman - a job, friends, an actual social life, and even romantic possibilitis. I am working my butt off in therapy. I have NEVER been closer to God or felt more sure that what I am doing, though He would never desire a daughter needing to leave her mother, is aok with Him. I feel more understanding and compassionate towards my nada than ever, and am even seeing glimmers of forgiveness. And so now she is organizing this! Argh, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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