Is THIS what brain fog is like?

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Faith is the ability to not panic.

Subject: FW: "IS THIS WHAT WE HAVE TO LOOK FORWARD TO....READ THEM ALL

An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report thather car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried. The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way." A few minutes later, the officer radios in. "Disregard." He says. "She got in the back-seat by mistake."_______________________________________FAMILYThree sisters ages 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together. Onenight the 96 year old draws a bath. She puts her foot in andpauses. She yells to the other sisters, "Was I getting in or out ofthe bath?" The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses "Was I going up thestairs or down?" The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She shakes her headand says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood."She then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I seewho's at the door."____________________________________Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf onefineMarch day. One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn't it?" "No," thesecond man replied, "it's Thursday." And the third man chimed in,"So am I. Let's have a beer."_______________________________________An little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursinghome. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgownand say "Supersex." She walked up to an elderly man in awheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she said, "Supersex." He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, "I'll take thesoup."_______________________________________ROMANCEAn older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband wasfalling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted totalk. She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting."Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep. A few moments later she said: "Then you used to kiss me. "Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep. Thirty seconds later she said:"Then you used to bite my neck." Angrily, he threw back the bedclothes and got out of bed. "Where are you going?" she asked. "To get my teeth!"_______________________________________80-year old Bessie bursts into the rec room at the retirement home.She holds her clenched fist in the air and announces, "Anyone who can guess what's in my hand can have sex with me tonight!!" An elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out, "An elephant?" Bessie thinks a minute and says, "Close enough."_______________________________________OLD FRIENDSTwo elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over theyears, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures.Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times aweek to play cards. One day, they were playing cards when onelooked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me ... I knowwe've been friends for a long time ...but I just can't think of yourname! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it.Please tell me what your name is." Her friend glared at her. For atleast three minutes she just stared and glared at her.Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"_______________________________________As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him,"Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going thewrong way on Interstate 77. Please be careful!" "Hell," saidHerman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"______________________________________DRIVINGTwo elderly women were out driving in a large car - both couldbarely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, theycame to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just wenton through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "Imust be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a redlight." After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again. Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous . At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. So, she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!"Mildred turned to her and said, "Crap, am I driving?"TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US!!!!