Re: A vicious circle and I'm tired!!!!!

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 6/29/2004 9:46:50 AM Central Standard Time,

RRSandovals@... writes:

I looked at

her, put my face in my hands and started laughing uncontrolably and

then I started crying, when I was done I said to her okay lets get

back to the heart and anemia, I told her I felt like for the last

three years I have done everything in my power about the weight and I

am beginning to believe it is just my cross to bear in this life. I

find it remarkable how fast I can be taken back to the humiliation

and defeated feelings that come with obesity, and how easily people

can spit words out that are hurtful and offered with no regard or

solution.

Sorry, I am in a crappy mood. However, this too shall pass.

Love and Hugs to all.....a

_____________________________________________________

a,

I can certainally understand your feelings. I'm up from my last weight.

Anytime I leave the protein diet, I regain...UGH! It seems like everything has

hit me since December. So I cam co-miserate with you. I have just decided to

do my plastics because if i'm going to settle in at this weight, I should make

the best of it. Know what I mean?

While my HGB is up(Last one was 12..YEA!!!) I'm still tired, not just

tired but dog tired, weary to the bone tired.;...And I'm sick and tired of

feeling sick and tired. Just went to the doc and got my B/P meds doubled. Most

peop

le who lose 130+ lbs come off of B/P meds...I get more...Then doc K, tells me

that maybe the bad part of my stomach might still be playing a part in my blood

problems. So I'm looking at an endo. I sure am not looking forward to someone

pushing a hose down my throat to look around again....Then I found a mass on

my breast 2 weeks ago. Waiting on word from that. All I know is it's not a

cyst but solid. So I can't do anything about plastics until the B/P gets

controlled, or I'm sure the breast thing is OK. I have been back and forth to

Birmingham 4 times in the last month. With the fibro, I don't do cars well, so

that's

adding to the pain factor. Add to that the not sleeping again, and I'm a mess,

physically and emoionally.

If you want to talk call me. I'm sure you still have my number and if you

don't just let me know. Like I said, we can cry on one anothers

shoulder...LOL. feel like a good pity party?

in Bama

VBG 1982 (lost from 433lbs to 270's)

VBG -RNY1996 revision(Lost from 343 to 299)

RNY-DS revision Dec 2002 -down 135 lbs (377.7 to 242.2 and still going)

Homepage address- http://hometown.aol.com/mdl1031/myhomepage/profile.html

Many thanks to Dr. K willing to take on a 3rd timer....LOL

[Guest guest]

..

> Sorry, I am in a crappy mood. However, this too shall pass.

> Love and Hugs to all.....a

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~``

a,

I am so sorry that you are going thru all this...and you are

right this too shall pass,,,but gosh darn don't you wish it

would hurry up???

The only thing I can say is,,,no, I don't know what to say,

as I am not walking in you shoes...I think your dr was wrong

in saying what she did to you and she will be judged on that.

Just know that my thoughts and prayers are with you...by the

way if you don't mind could you email my your add, as I don't

think I have it...

Blessings goes out to you and your family at this time,isn't

it great to have the hubby you do???

Pat

[Guest guest]

a

When I read what the Dr. said... part of the problem is your

overweight...my heart hit the floor. So I can imagaine how hard

those words hit you.

With spending two years fighting severe anemia I am impressed with

the courage of your spirit. You bear your cross with dignity. I

just hope that soon, someone can find the magic formula to help lift

the weight of that cross from your back.

In the mean time...every once in awhile...throw a real good hissy

fit. It doesn't change the situation...but it does allow some of

the emotional bile to escape, allowing you to gain emotional

strength to keep trying.

Hugging you will all my heart

Jo

[Guest guest]

a, I am so sorry to hear all this! First of all, that

cardiologist is a complete asshole! How dare she say something so

insensitive and stupid! I'm amazed you were able to keep from

smacking her across the chops. And I am so so sorry you're having

to deal with the heart problems and fatigue. And the weight gain

has to be so incredibly frustrating! I do know what you're going

through in that regard. I'm just about killing myself right now

trying to lose the weight I gained in the last couple of months.

Please know that you're constantly in my thoughts and prayers and if

you'd like to chat by phone, e-mail me and I'll give you my number.

I sure hope things get better for you soon!

Hugs and love,

Tracey

> Hi everyone....well the heart tests are at this point unending it

> seems, however the cardiologist has the problem down to my severe

> anemia and fedrritin and RBC levels. After nearly two years of

iron

> infusions, blood transfusions and lots of trips to Delano I am

right

> back where I started from it seems,except now my heart has

suffered

> some damage, I try to not let the tiredness take over my life, but

it

> does at times. I have also gained almost exactly twenty pounds in

> the last year, I usually try to eat well, dont exercise as much as

I

> would like due to tiredness so I expected a little bit of weight

> regain, but this is getting so frustrating...now I believe that I

> will never be 315 pounds again, but the 200 mark is getting damn

> close on the scale...so here's where my circle begins and

ends....I

> am at my cardiologists office and she says after looking at my

file

> for about ten minutes without speaking " a, part of the

problem,

> or it sure isnt helping the situation any is that you are

OVERWEIGHT,

> she looks at my weight regain and says " you are going the wrong

way,

> you should be going down the scale not up " .....AHHHHHH....I looked

at

> her, put my face in my hands and started laughing uncontrolably

and

> then I started crying, when I was done I said to her okay lets get

> back to the heart and anemia, I told her I felt like for the last

> three years I have done everything in my power about the weight

and I

> am beginning to believe it is just my cross to bear in this life.

I

> find it remarkable how fast I can be taken back to the humiliation

> and defeated feelings that come with obesity, and how easily

people

> can spit words out that are hurtful and offered with no regard or

> solution.

> Sorry, I am in a crappy mood. However, this too shall pass.

> Love and Hugs to all.....a

[Guest guest]

" a, part of the problem, or it sure isnt helping the situation

any is that you are OVERWEIGHT, she looks at my weight regain and

says " you are going the wrong way, you should be going down the scale

not up " .....AHHHHHH....I looked at her, put my face in my hands and

started laughing uncontrolably and then I started crying, when I was

done I said to her okay lets get back to the heart and anemia, I told

her I felt like for the last three years I have done everything in my

power about the weight and I am beginning to believe it is just my

cross to bear in this life. I find it remarkable how fast I can be

taken back to the humiliation and defeated feelings that come with

obesity, and how easily people can spit words out that are hurtful

and offered with no regard or solution.

> Sorry, I am in a crappy mood. However, this too shall pass.

> Love and Hugs to all.....a

*#$ & * & @#Damn...Damn....Damn!!!!!!** & *%$#@!

(a small hissy fit)

I perused the board this morning before I went to work and your post

has been with me all day. I have been off the board for a while and

on vacation.

OH, ROBERTA (putting my arms around you and giving you a big hug),

I hate the fact that you are still having iron problems, and now I

hate that you are having heart problems too, and then to have gained

weight and having that insensitive Dr give you a bad time and make

you feel humiliated and defeated....well that is the straw that

breaks the camels back!!!! I cannot imagine how you feel , but I

know it really pissed me off to hear how you were treated - but most

importantly how it made you feel. I know I would feel the same way.

Heck, I have a rash (since Feb- and it is getting worse) and wont go

to the Dr because I will have to weigh in and I know that I have

gained 12 lbs and it puts me right at the dreaded 200 mark and I just

cant face it. I get so frusterated because like you I have tried to

get past this inferior feeling, but we just get slammed back into it

so easily.

I too am trying, really trying to accept this and the fact that we

were all not meant to be size 10s, but damn, damn, damn.....it is

hard when you have gone thru what we have to attain it and want it so

badly. And then to go thru what you have too....well my heart just

aches for you.

I know you are a strong, beautiful, and courageous woman. And that

this too shall pass and you will go on and put this behind you. But

I like Jo's idea of a plain old hissy fit!

hang in there!

love and hugs back atcha'

Sharon in Onyx

who like Puumba is trying to put her behind in the past..... and

who is still wearing her 14's and some are loose but the scales dont

lie! heavy sigh.....