Gaslighting

[Guest guest]

Hi KOs,

My younger brother used the word " gaslighting " to describe nada

recently (maybe he's finally getting it???). I've seen the term

before but I looked it up again. Basically gaslighting is when

someone you trust (or you're supposed to trust) forces you to accept

their version of reality, even when you know it's wrong. It's a form

of brainwashing to control others, to force them to be dependent

without question on what you say.

It's definitely what my nada does, and why my perspective is so

skewed. She'd often do it purposely, change her mind to test us,

make sure she still controlled our reality ( " No, the sky isn't blue,

it's green. No wait, it's purple. Now what color is the sky? (hint:

it's not purple and you'll be in BIG trouble if you say it is) " ).

Apparently nada attacked my younger brother and he yelled at her to

stop. She started to cry and asked him why he was so abusive towards

her. Later she wrote up a " contract " outlining the things she would

no longer allow him to do to her. I have no doubt she'll make him

sign it.

It's interesting (and very sad) to witness nada pull the same junk

on my younger brothers that she did to me, now that I'm out of the

house and able to see it better. It just confirms what I already

knew about her, that she's vindictive, controlling, and resentful. I

just worry about my younger brother, who is still living there. He

reports being unable to stop shaking after fights like those.

Everybody is begging him to leave, but he just can't seem to do it

(he's 23, so he can move out).

I've decided that nada will have no part in my life for the

forseeable (and maybe distant) future. I tried thinking about

contacting her again, but I just have no desire whatsoever to let

that junk back into my life. She can have her anger and bitterness.

I want peace. And if that means never speaking to her again, so be

it.

Happy New Year, everyone!