Guest guest Posted July 13, 2004 Report Share Posted July 13, 2004 I have to agree with Sylvia about my nada too. All of my friends and most of my family looked at me like I was the one with the problem when I would ask for help while I was growing up. I had one friend in particular when I was about 16 that asked me why I was always lying about my nada's behavior. Only 3 close friends & 1 of my cousins have ever seen the " real " nada. She has been starting to publicly unravel recently though (mood swings, accusatory, slightly paranoid, defensive). I don't know what is going on but a lot of people are noticing (thank god). on 7/13/04 9:20 PM, smhtrain2 at smhtrain2@... wrote: My experience is that nada has fooled almost everyone. There are a few people in her family that know there is something wrong, but I don't think even they understand the full extent. To me this is also understandable, because her worst only comes out with those in her immediate family. Sylvia ................ > I have a potentially dumb question about the above. Do you all > REALLY think your nadas have people fooled? Or do you think it's > possible the people are not fooled, they are simply too intimidated > or tired or care too little or for whatever reason just do not assert > themselves to say otherwise? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 13, 2004 Report Share Posted July 13, 2004 I have to agree with Sylvia about my nada too. All of my friends and most of my family looked at me like I was the one with the problem when I would ask for help while I was growing up. I had one friend in particular when I was about 16 that asked me why I was always lying about my nada's behavior. Only 3 close friends & 1 of my cousins have ever seen the " real " nada. She has been starting to publicly unravel recently though (mood swings, accusatory, slightly paranoid, defensive). I don't know what is going on but a lot of people are noticing (thank god). on 7/13/04 9:20 PM, smhtrain2 at smhtrain2@... wrote: My experience is that nada has fooled almost everyone. There are a few people in her family that know there is something wrong, but I don't think even they understand the full extent. To me this is also understandable, because her worst only comes out with those in her immediate family. Sylvia ................ > I have a potentially dumb question about the above. Do you all > REALLY think your nadas have people fooled? Or do you think it's > possible the people are not fooled, they are simply too intimidated > or tired or care too little or for whatever reason just do not assert > themselves to say otherwise? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 13, 2004 Report Share Posted July 13, 2004 My experience is that nada has fooled almost everyone. There are people at her church who think she is a saint. She does do things that would be considered very generous....but these people don't know how she really feels and why she is doing these generous things. My nada is a Hermit/Witch. And as the hermit, she doesn't spend too much time with others, so when she does, she can invest her time and energy into her 'saintly' routine. There are a few people in her family that know there is something wrong, but I don't think even they understand the full extent. To me this is also understandable, because her worst only comes out with those in her immediate family. Sylvia ................ > I have a potentially dumb question about the above. Do you all > REALLY think your nadas have people fooled? Or do you think it's > possible the people are not fooled, they are simply too intimidated > or tired or care too little or for whatever reason just do not assert > themselves to say otherwise? > ............................. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 13, 2004 Report Share Posted July 13, 2004 My experience is that nada has fooled almost everyone. There are people at her church who think she is a saint. She does do things that would be considered very generous....but these people don't know how she really feels and why she is doing these generous things. My nada is a Hermit/Witch. And as the hermit, she doesn't spend too much time with others, so when she does, she can invest her time and energy into her 'saintly' routine. There are a few people in her family that know there is something wrong, but I don't think even they understand the full extent. To me this is also understandable, because her worst only comes out with those in her immediate family. Sylvia ................ > I have a potentially dumb question about the above. Do you all > REALLY think your nadas have people fooled? Or do you think it's > possible the people are not fooled, they are simply too intimidated > or tired or care too little or for whatever reason just do not assert > themselves to say otherwise? > ............................. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 14, 2004 Report Share Posted July 14, 2004 At least my Nada doesn't have anybody in the family fooled. She controls them by intimidation and FOG. She doesn't control me, because of my rebellion and my self-destructive urges. If I let go my self-destructive urges I will be subject to her control. I am free of control by her physical self, but she left a robot in my brain to do her work and I can't get it out. - Dan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 14, 2004 Report Share Posted July 14, 2004 At least my Nada doesn't have anybody in the family fooled. She controls them by intimidation and FOG. She doesn't control me, because of my rebellion and my self-destructive urges. If I let go my self-destructive urges I will be subject to her control. I am free of control by her physical self, but she left a robot in my brain to do her work and I can't get it out. - Dan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 14, 2004 Report Share Posted July 14, 2004 > They sometimes liked her enough to get past it (which I guess > you can do if these people aren't your mom?), or tolerated it as long > as they could and finally did whatever it was that set her off to > cause her to banish them. > > So it's really weird to hear this from people. What I found is that they thought I was in the same basket with her. She made him nuts too, he used to do drugs a lot, ok, let's focus on non-nuts members of the family. I feel I should have an emotional reaction toward that, but it still hasn't arrived. A Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 14, 2004 Report Share Posted July 14, 2004 > > She has them all fooled. > > I have a potentially dumb question about the above. Do you all > REALLY think your nadas have people fooled? Or do you think it's > possible the people are not fooled, they are simply too intimidated > or tired or care too little or for whatever reason just do not assert > themselves to say otherwise? > > Hi All, I think I addressed this same feeling in one of my recent posts. Many people have admitted to me, now that I am out of the closet about nada, that she has always been that way, others just say " I do not want to talk about your mother " her sibling's say " Can you forgive her? " Several friends have asked if I SENT her to them with a business proposal, these of course are friends of mine who part of families with large holdings. Of course I didn't and at the time, they assumed I did and never mentioned it to me, some may have ended their relationship with me and I will never know. The one thing that kills me is the ability they have to make us the object of rejection and then profess their loyality in the wake of our misfortune. An exposed nada is not a pretty sight and I have been reduced to rubble in the wake of her wrath, I have seen this at other times with other people but never thought she would treat me, her only child, like all her other cast offs. Live and learn! So ya, people don't want the headache or the heartache of BP's and they have a choice, we don't. Just when I thought I could walk away she wiggled her way into my oldest daughters life. She was very clever, my daughter is a nurse so nada had elective surgery and then had the hospital call my daughter as her only contact. Now when people ask why she has her grandaughter not her daughter as her emergency name she says she doesn't know " It's just that granddaughter is always there when she come's to in the hospital. " She has of course told daughter that I don't treat her nicely. I must agree I don't. Vicki Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 14, 2004 Report Share Posted July 14, 2004 > > She has them all fooled. > > I have a potentially dumb question about the above. Do you all > REALLY think your nadas have people fooled? Or do you think it's > possible the people are not fooled, they are simply too intimidated > or tired or care too little or for whatever reason just do not assert > themselves to say otherwise? > > Hi All, I think I addressed this same feeling in one of my recent posts. Many people have admitted to me, now that I am out of the closet about nada, that she has always been that way, others just say " I do not want to talk about your mother " her sibling's say " Can you forgive her? " Several friends have asked if I SENT her to them with a business proposal, these of course are friends of mine who part of families with large holdings. Of course I didn't and at the time, they assumed I did and never mentioned it to me, some may have ended their relationship with me and I will never know. The one thing that kills me is the ability they have to make us the object of rejection and then profess their loyality in the wake of our misfortune. An exposed nada is not a pretty sight and I have been reduced to rubble in the wake of her wrath, I have seen this at other times with other people but never thought she would treat me, her only child, like all her other cast offs. Live and learn! So ya, people don't want the headache or the heartache of BP's and they have a choice, we don't. Just when I thought I could walk away she wiggled her way into my oldest daughters life. She was very clever, my daughter is a nurse so nada had elective surgery and then had the hospital call my daughter as her only contact. Now when people ask why she has her grandaughter not her daughter as her emergency name she says she doesn't know " It's just that granddaughter is always there when she come's to in the hospital. " She has of course told daughter that I don't treat her nicely. I must agree I don't. Vicki Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 14, 2004 Report Share Posted July 14, 2004 > > She has them all fooled. > > I have a potentially dumb question about the above. Do you all > REALLY think your nadas have people fooled? Or do you think it's > possible the people are not fooled, they are simply too intimidated > or tired or care too little or for whatever reason just do not assert > themselves to say otherwise? > > Hi All, I think I addressed this same feeling in one of my recent posts. Many people have admitted to me, now that I am out of the closet about nada, that she has always been that way, others just say " I do not want to talk about your mother " her sibling's say " Can you forgive her? " Several friends have asked if I SENT her to them with a business proposal, these of course are friends of mine who part of families with large holdings. Of course I didn't and at the time, they assumed I did and never mentioned it to me, some may have ended their relationship with me and I will never know. The one thing that kills me is the ability they have to make us the object of rejection and then profess their loyality in the wake of our misfortune. An exposed nada is not a pretty sight and I have been reduced to rubble in the wake of her wrath, I have seen this at other times with other people but never thought she would treat me, her only child, like all her other cast offs. Live and learn! So ya, people don't want the headache or the heartache of BP's and they have a choice, we don't. Just when I thought I could walk away she wiggled her way into my oldest daughters life. She was very clever, my daughter is a nurse so nada had elective surgery and then had the hospital call my daughter as her only contact. Now when people ask why she has her grandaughter not her daughter as her emergency name she says she doesn't know " It's just that granddaughter is always there when she come's to in the hospital. " She has of course told daughter that I don't treat her nicely. I must agree I don't. Vicki Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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