Re: Hostile Negotiations- Kerrie

[Guest guest]

Hi, Kerrie,

I agree that SWOE is helpful, but for me it's only been helpful in

those initial stages, getting to understand the behavior, etc. Now

that I've made some decisions as to what I'm going to do (or have been

doing)- now what? It's not like it's " over " now... Now I'm faced with

more, less " huge " decisions but still annoying and stressful nonetheless.

> I think that is a subjective question you ask. Are you ready, strong

> enough, to deal one on one w/her?

Most certainly not! I'm not even sure I want to talk on the phone with

her (which is her recent tactic).

Have you confronted her w/the

> notion that she needs to meet certain prerequisites to have a

> relationship w/you, namely take charge of her own mental health?

Yes I have, and I have received absolutely no acknowledgement from her

that I've done so.

I'm

> not sure really b/c if you've got a witch, then I'd say don't even

> go there. My nada is the queen type, but she has progressively

> gotten more 'witchy' w/age and definitely more witchy since I

> confronted her two years ago w/the fact I was unwilling to put up

> w/her psycho bs.

I sat down in & Noble and read most of UBM, but I really didn't

find the archetypes (Witch, Waif, etc.) very useful since my nada fits

all of them pretty much equally. She can switch them at the drop of a

hat, too- one minute she'll be queen, next she'll be witch. Then

she'll follow it up with a hermit or waif. But in any case I agree

that she's prone to violent outbursts and I'm not willing to put up

with that crap anymore.

> What do you want? Do you want reconcilliation? Do you believe it is

> possible?

It isn't if she doesn't get help, that's for sure. I'm not willing to

sacrifice my emotional/mental health for her sake, or anyone else's

for that matter.

Do you want your aunt to butt out and not be the go-

> between since you've already stated you've written to her and vice-

> versa (seems to me like a hoover-maneuver w/getting your aunt

> involved when she could've simply written you and asked to speak in

> person.

Well, that's Auntie's decision, not mine. I can't stop her from doing

so, although perhaps it's in her best interests if I give her a little

more information on my perspective. I certainly would hate to ruin our

relationship, too by having nada #$ & ! it up.

> Best of luck.

Thanks.

-Z.