Guest guest Posted July 5, 2004 Report Share Posted July 5, 2004 that's your opinion, I don't agree. Jackie > As a parent I think it is completely unacceptable to smack, hit, whip, spank > or wound any children in any form or fashion, PERIOD. Thats my stance and I > stand by it to the degree I will divorce my husband before I even allow him > to lay hands on my child. > > There is NOTHING to be learned by using physical violence against anyone. > You wouldnt smack another adult at the grocery store for behaving in an > innappropriate way. Lord knows there are plenty of adults who do act far worse > than children ( apparently being hit as kids didnt help them become better > people ) > > Hitting children is the easy way out. It takes ten times as much > restraint, patience, and even knowledge about how children learn, think and and feel > to teach your kids the proper ways to behave than it does to just inflict > pain. My child will undoubtly have times she looks at me with anger and > frustration. But NEVER once will my baby ever look at me and feel fear. Thats a vow I > have made for myself. > > It is my opinion, and we all have one, that if a person cannot raise > children into healthy,loving, and adjusted adults without any threat of violence > or emotional terrorism then they have FAILED as a parent and even a human > being, buts thats just my take on it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 5, 2004 Report Share Posted July 5, 2004 Then you best learn psychology & head games very well. Kids learn very fast how to manage their parents. Also, expect to be screamed at & even hit by your child in the future. This is just normal every day things a child will do. In a culture that screams that violence is ok, you are in for a very hard time. If you are sending your daughter to public school what are you going to do when your 5 year old comes home & tells you to fXXX yourself, spits in your face, or even hits you. These are realistic things that can & will happen. Private school doesn't even change those odds. You may stand a chance if you homeschool. But your children will never find another child raised exactly like yours even that way. They will be exposed to children who will abuse her & treat her like a piece of crap. They will do it because they will be able to. You cannot protect her from the evil because it is out there just waiting to pounce on any child. You will have to teach her to fight back or she will learn on her own. If she doesn't she will not survive. This is the truth if I ever have told it. It is impossible to raise a totally peaceful child in such a hateful world. That is not to say that you cannot raise her to be moral & loving. But you will have to have a stronger impact than the rest of the world. The only way to do that is to homeschool your daughter. You will also have to know psychology as good as the best one in the world to succeed without ever laying a hand on your daughters behind. I will have a party for you if you succeed. Then I want you to publish a book telling us how you did it. I also wonder about one other thing. Will she have a sibling? That too will make all the difference in the world. This is just my view & not critical of yours. I too had that dream of never spanking my precious little babies. But sometimes parents have to say & do things they despise for the safety & for the love of their child. Debbie Debbie Re: Pro Smacking Limits > As a parent I think it is completely unacceptable to smack, hit, whip, spank > or wound any children in any form or fashion, PERIOD. Thats my stance and I > stand by it to the degree I will divorce my husband before I even allow him > to lay hands on my child. > > There is NOTHING to be learned by using physical violence against anyone. > You wouldnt smack another adult at the grocery store for behaving in an > innappropriate way. Lord knows there are plenty of adults who do act far worse > than children ( apparently being hit as kids didnt help them become better > people ) > > Hitting children is the easy way out. It takes ten times as much > restraint, patience, and even knowledge about how children learn, think and and feel > to teach your kids the proper ways to behave than it does to just inflict > pain. My child will undoubtly have times she looks at me with anger and > frustration. But NEVER once will my baby ever look at me and feel fear. Thats a vow I > have made for myself. > > It is my opinion, and we all have one, that if a person cannot raise > children into healthy,loving, and adjusted adults without any threat of violence > or emotional terrorism then they have FAILED as a parent and even a human > being, buts thats just my take on it. > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 5, 2004 Report Share Posted July 5, 2004 Then you best learn psychology & head games very well. Kids learn very fast how to manage their parents. Also, expect to be screamed at & even hit by your child in the future. This is just normal every day things a child will do. In a culture that screams that violence is ok, you are in for a very hard time. If you are sending your daughter to public school what are you going to do when your 5 year old comes home & tells you to fXXX yourself, spits in your face, or even hits you. These are realistic things that can & will happen. Private school doesn't even change those odds. You may stand a chance if you homeschool. But your children will never find another child raised exactly like yours even that way. They will be exposed to children who will abuse her & treat her like a piece of crap. They will do it because they will be able to. You cannot protect her from the evil because it is out there just waiting to pounce on any child. You will have to teach her to fight back or she will learn on her own. If she doesn't she will not survive. This is the truth if I ever have told it. It is impossible to raise a totally peaceful child in such a hateful world. That is not to say that you cannot raise her to be moral & loving. But you will have to have a stronger impact than the rest of the world. The only way to do that is to homeschool your daughter. You will also have to know psychology as good as the best one in the world to succeed without ever laying a hand on your daughters behind. I will have a party for you if you succeed. Then I want you to publish a book telling us how you did it. I also wonder about one other thing. Will she have a sibling? That too will make all the difference in the world. This is just my view & not critical of yours. I too had that dream of never spanking my precious little babies. But sometimes parents have to say & do things they despise for the safety & for the love of their child. Debbie Debbie Re: Pro Smacking Limits > As a parent I think it is completely unacceptable to smack, hit, whip, spank > or wound any children in any form or fashion, PERIOD. Thats my stance and I > stand by it to the degree I will divorce my husband before I even allow him > to lay hands on my child. > > There is NOTHING to be learned by using physical violence against anyone. > You wouldnt smack another adult at the grocery store for behaving in an > innappropriate way. Lord knows there are plenty of adults who do act far worse > than children ( apparently being hit as kids didnt help them become better > people ) > > Hitting children is the easy way out. It takes ten times as much > restraint, patience, and even knowledge about how children learn, think and and feel > to teach your kids the proper ways to behave than it does to just inflict > pain. My child will undoubtly have times she looks at me with anger and > frustration. But NEVER once will my baby ever look at me and feel fear. Thats a vow I > have made for myself. > > It is my opinion, and we all have one, that if a person cannot raise > children into healthy,loving, and adjusted adults without any threat of violence > or emotional terrorism then they have FAILED as a parent and even a human > being, buts thats just my take on it. > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 5, 2004 Report Share Posted July 5, 2004 Then you best learn psychology & head games very well. Kids learn very fast how to manage their parents. Also, expect to be screamed at & even hit by your child in the future. This is just normal every day things a child will do. In a culture that screams that violence is ok, you are in for a very hard time. If you are sending your daughter to public school what are you going to do when your 5 year old comes home & tells you to fXXX yourself, spits in your face, or even hits you. These are realistic things that can & will happen. Private school doesn't even change those odds. You may stand a chance if you homeschool. But your children will never find another child raised exactly like yours even that way. They will be exposed to children who will abuse her & treat her like a piece of crap. They will do it because they will be able to. You cannot protect her from the evil because it is out there just waiting to pounce on any child. You will have to teach her to fight back or she will learn on her own. If she doesn't she will not survive. This is the truth if I ever have told it. It is impossible to raise a totally peaceful child in such a hateful world. That is not to say that you cannot raise her to be moral & loving. But you will have to have a stronger impact than the rest of the world. The only way to do that is to homeschool your daughter. You will also have to know psychology as good as the best one in the world to succeed without ever laying a hand on your daughters behind. I will have a party for you if you succeed. Then I want you to publish a book telling us how you did it. I also wonder about one other thing. Will she have a sibling? That too will make all the difference in the world. This is just my view & not critical of yours. I too had that dream of never spanking my precious little babies. But sometimes parents have to say & do things they despise for the safety & for the love of their child. Debbie Debbie Re: Pro Smacking Limits > As a parent I think it is completely unacceptable to smack, hit, whip, spank > or wound any children in any form or fashion, PERIOD. Thats my stance and I > stand by it to the degree I will divorce my husband before I even allow him > to lay hands on my child. > > There is NOTHING to be learned by using physical violence against anyone. > You wouldnt smack another adult at the grocery store for behaving in an > innappropriate way. Lord knows there are plenty of adults who do act far worse > than children ( apparently being hit as kids didnt help them become better > people ) > > Hitting children is the easy way out. It takes ten times as much > restraint, patience, and even knowledge about how children learn, think and and feel > to teach your kids the proper ways to behave than it does to just inflict > pain. My child will undoubtly have times she looks at me with anger and > frustration. But NEVER once will my baby ever look at me and feel fear. Thats a vow I > have made for myself. > > It is my opinion, and we all have one, that if a person cannot raise > children into healthy,loving, and adjusted adults without any threat of violence > or emotional terrorism then they have FAILED as a parent and even a human > being, buts thats just my take on it. > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 5, 2004 Report Share Posted July 5, 2004 Sexystarshine, I forgot to reply to one part of your message. If I was in public & some guy or gal grabbed my behind I would beat the living crap out of them. I will not be treated like some piece of cheap meat. I had a guy make an ugly implication toward me & I slapped his face so hard that the welts could be seen the next day. A guy got really ugly to me one time & I clawed his face all to pieces. I had another woman threaten to beat my daughter (because of a lie her child had told to her). I went to the woman's house & challenged her to fight me in the road. I also informed her that if she laid one finger on my child she would be a bloody mess in the road before I was through with her. She wouldn't meet me, but still stated that the next time my child went to get on the bus she would get her. I went to the police about it when I left her home. Needless to say she never laid a finger on my child. I had a prowler here in the middle of the woods & he was peeping in my bedroom windows. I called the police & told them that if the person showed their face in my windows again, I would shoot & I wouldn't care if I killed the person or not. I am alone here in the country for 6 nights a week. I will not put up with much off of anyone or anything. Does it make me less of an adult? I don't think so. I know how to take care of myself & my family when I need to. I don't go looking for trouble, But if trouble starts coming at me I get rid of the trouble. It will not invade my home without me trying to take care of it. I cannot do that & remain peaceful all the time. Also, I was raised with Violence in my childhood. When you are a white child living in the middle of an all black neighborhood in the 50's you learn that being a pacifist will get you nowhere but dead in a hurry. So Yes, I would reprimand someone who is really gross in public. If I see someone with his/her pants hanging low enough to show their bare butts, I tell them to cover it up because its disgusting. If they touch me in any manner that is sexual I can & will do something about it. Peace is my first choice & I prefer to live that way, but if I cannot then I will fight will to get it if I have to. I guess maybe I am old fashioned or something. But life isn't perfect & you are going to have times when you have to fight back. I will ignore what I can, but when it interferes with my children's or my personal space or my home, then I will get rid of it one way or another. Debbie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 5, 2004 Report Share Posted July 5, 2004 Sexystarshine, I forgot to reply to one part of your message. If I was in public & some guy or gal grabbed my behind I would beat the living crap out of them. I will not be treated like some piece of cheap meat. I had a guy make an ugly implication toward me & I slapped his face so hard that the welts could be seen the next day. A guy got really ugly to me one time & I clawed his face all to pieces. I had another woman threaten to beat my daughter (because of a lie her child had told to her). I went to the woman's house & challenged her to fight me in the road. I also informed her that if she laid one finger on my child she would be a bloody mess in the road before I was through with her. She wouldn't meet me, but still stated that the next time my child went to get on the bus she would get her. I went to the police about it when I left her home. Needless to say she never laid a finger on my child. I had a prowler here in the middle of the woods & he was peeping in my bedroom windows. I called the police & told them that if the person showed their face in my windows again, I would shoot & I wouldn't care if I killed the person or not. I am alone here in the country for 6 nights a week. I will not put up with much off of anyone or anything. Does it make me less of an adult? I don't think so. I know how to take care of myself & my family when I need to. I don't go looking for trouble, But if trouble starts coming at me I get rid of the trouble. It will not invade my home without me trying to take care of it. I cannot do that & remain peaceful all the time. Also, I was raised with Violence in my childhood. When you are a white child living in the middle of an all black neighborhood in the 50's you learn that being a pacifist will get you nowhere but dead in a hurry. So Yes, I would reprimand someone who is really gross in public. If I see someone with his/her pants hanging low enough to show their bare butts, I tell them to cover it up because its disgusting. If they touch me in any manner that is sexual I can & will do something about it. Peace is my first choice & I prefer to live that way, but if I cannot then I will fight will to get it if I have to. I guess maybe I am old fashioned or something. But life isn't perfect & you are going to have times when you have to fight back. I will ignore what I can, but when it interferes with my children's or my personal space or my home, then I will get rid of it one way or another. Debbie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 5, 2004 Report Share Posted July 5, 2004 Sexystarshine, I forgot to reply to one part of your message. If I was in public & some guy or gal grabbed my behind I would beat the living crap out of them. I will not be treated like some piece of cheap meat. I had a guy make an ugly implication toward me & I slapped his face so hard that the welts could be seen the next day. A guy got really ugly to me one time & I clawed his face all to pieces. I had another woman threaten to beat my daughter (because of a lie her child had told to her). I went to the woman's house & challenged her to fight me in the road. I also informed her that if she laid one finger on my child she would be a bloody mess in the road before I was through with her. She wouldn't meet me, but still stated that the next time my child went to get on the bus she would get her. I went to the police about it when I left her home. Needless to say she never laid a finger on my child. I had a prowler here in the middle of the woods & he was peeping in my bedroom windows. I called the police & told them that if the person showed their face in my windows again, I would shoot & I wouldn't care if I killed the person or not. I am alone here in the country for 6 nights a week. I will not put up with much off of anyone or anything. Does it make me less of an adult? I don't think so. I know how to take care of myself & my family when I need to. I don't go looking for trouble, But if trouble starts coming at me I get rid of the trouble. It will not invade my home without me trying to take care of it. I cannot do that & remain peaceful all the time. Also, I was raised with Violence in my childhood. When you are a white child living in the middle of an all black neighborhood in the 50's you learn that being a pacifist will get you nowhere but dead in a hurry. So Yes, I would reprimand someone who is really gross in public. If I see someone with his/her pants hanging low enough to show their bare butts, I tell them to cover it up because its disgusting. If they touch me in any manner that is sexual I can & will do something about it. Peace is my first choice & I prefer to live that way, but if I cannot then I will fight will to get it if I have to. I guess maybe I am old fashioned or something. But life isn't perfect & you are going to have times when you have to fight back. I will ignore what I can, but when it interferes with my children's or my personal space or my home, then I will get rid of it one way or another. Debbie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 5, 2004 Report Share Posted July 5, 2004 I have been reading these posts for the last day or so without posting anything but I really need to make a comment. Debbie, you keep writing about how these things are " just my opinion " when the things you write are not just opinions. Saying that if Sexystarshine doesn't spank their child then " expect to be screamed at & even hit by your child " is horrible. That reads as though you are passing judgement on parents that do not condone hitting their children. And, getting sarcastic and saying that " I want you to publish a book telling us how you did it " in reference again to not hitting her child just seems really backhanded and hurtful. When I joined this group it was to try and get some understanding about my moms BP and it's impact on my life. Up until the last few days it has been wonderful but as I am reading these posts it makes me cry. Don't all of you think that we in this group have had enough of these kind of hurtful words aimed at us? on 7/5/04 8:19 PM, Deborah Kovak at foundmy@... wrote: Then you best learn psychology & head games very well. Kids learn very fast how to manage their parents. Also, expect to be screamed at & even hit by your child in the future. This is just normal every day things a child will do. In a culture that screams that violence is ok, you are in for a very hard time. If you are sending your daughter to public school what are you going to do when your 5 year old comes home & tells you to fXXX yourself, spits in your face, or even hits you. These are realistic things that can & will happen. Private school doesn't even change those odds. You may stand a chance if you homeschool. But your children will never find another child raised exactly like yours even that way. They will be exposed to children who will abuse her & treat her like a piece of crap. They will do it because they will be able to. You cannot protect her from the evil because it is out there just waiting to pounce on any child. You will have to teach her to fight back or she will learn on her own. If she doesn't she will not survive. This is the truth if I ever have told it. It is impossible to raise a totally peaceful child in such a hateful world. That is not to say that you cannot raise her to be moral & loving. But you will have to have a stronger impact than the rest of the world. The only way to do that is to homeschool your daughter. You will also have to know psychology as good as the best one in the world to succeed without ever laying a hand on your daughters behind. I will have a party for you if you succeed. Then I want you to publish a book telling us how you did it. I also wonder about one other thing. Will she have a sibling? That too will make all the difference in the world. This is just my view & not critical of yours. I too had that dream of never spanking my precious little babies. But sometimes parents have to say & do things they despise for the safety & for the love of their child. Debbie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 5, 2004 Report Share Posted July 5, 2004 I have been reading these posts for the last day or so without posting anything but I really need to make a comment. Debbie, you keep writing about how these things are " just my opinion " when the things you write are not just opinions. Saying that if Sexystarshine doesn't spank their child then " expect to be screamed at & even hit by your child " is horrible. That reads as though you are passing judgement on parents that do not condone hitting their children. And, getting sarcastic and saying that " I want you to publish a book telling us how you did it " in reference again to not hitting her child just seems really backhanded and hurtful. When I joined this group it was to try and get some understanding about my moms BP and it's impact on my life. Up until the last few days it has been wonderful but as I am reading these posts it makes me cry. Don't all of you think that we in this group have had enough of these kind of hurtful words aimed at us? on 7/5/04 8:19 PM, Deborah Kovak at foundmy@... wrote: Then you best learn psychology & head games very well. Kids learn very fast how to manage their parents. Also, expect to be screamed at & even hit by your child in the future. This is just normal every day things a child will do. In a culture that screams that violence is ok, you are in for a very hard time. If you are sending your daughter to public school what are you going to do when your 5 year old comes home & tells you to fXXX yourself, spits in your face, or even hits you. These are realistic things that can & will happen. Private school doesn't even change those odds. You may stand a chance if you homeschool. But your children will never find another child raised exactly like yours even that way. They will be exposed to children who will abuse her & treat her like a piece of crap. They will do it because they will be able to. You cannot protect her from the evil because it is out there just waiting to pounce on any child. You will have to teach her to fight back or she will learn on her own. If she doesn't she will not survive. This is the truth if I ever have told it. It is impossible to raise a totally peaceful child in such a hateful world. That is not to say that you cannot raise her to be moral & loving. But you will have to have a stronger impact than the rest of the world. The only way to do that is to homeschool your daughter. You will also have to know psychology as good as the best one in the world to succeed without ever laying a hand on your daughters behind. I will have a party for you if you succeed. Then I want you to publish a book telling us how you did it. I also wonder about one other thing. Will she have a sibling? That too will make all the difference in the world. This is just my view & not critical of yours. I too had that dream of never spanking my precious little babies. But sometimes parents have to say & do things they despise for the safety & for the love of their child. Debbie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 5, 2004 Report Share Posted July 5, 2004 I have been reading these posts for the last day or so without posting anything but I really need to make a comment. Debbie, you keep writing about how these things are " just my opinion " when the things you write are not just opinions. Saying that if Sexystarshine doesn't spank their child then " expect to be screamed at & even hit by your child " is horrible. That reads as though you are passing judgement on parents that do not condone hitting their children. And, getting sarcastic and saying that " I want you to publish a book telling us how you did it " in reference again to not hitting her child just seems really backhanded and hurtful. When I joined this group it was to try and get some understanding about my moms BP and it's impact on my life. Up until the last few days it has been wonderful but as I am reading these posts it makes me cry. Don't all of you think that we in this group have had enough of these kind of hurtful words aimed at us? on 7/5/04 8:19 PM, Deborah Kovak at foundmy@... wrote: Then you best learn psychology & head games very well. Kids learn very fast how to manage their parents. Also, expect to be screamed at & even hit by your child in the future. This is just normal every day things a child will do. In a culture that screams that violence is ok, you are in for a very hard time. If you are sending your daughter to public school what are you going to do when your 5 year old comes home & tells you to fXXX yourself, spits in your face, or even hits you. These are realistic things that can & will happen. Private school doesn't even change those odds. You may stand a chance if you homeschool. But your children will never find another child raised exactly like yours even that way. They will be exposed to children who will abuse her & treat her like a piece of crap. They will do it because they will be able to. You cannot protect her from the evil because it is out there just waiting to pounce on any child. You will have to teach her to fight back or she will learn on her own. If she doesn't she will not survive. This is the truth if I ever have told it. It is impossible to raise a totally peaceful child in such a hateful world. That is not to say that you cannot raise her to be moral & loving. But you will have to have a stronger impact than the rest of the world. The only way to do that is to homeschool your daughter. You will also have to know psychology as good as the best one in the world to succeed without ever laying a hand on your daughters behind. I will have a party for you if you succeed. Then I want you to publish a book telling us how you did it. I also wonder about one other thing. Will she have a sibling? That too will make all the difference in the world. This is just my view & not critical of yours. I too had that dream of never spanking my precious little babies. But sometimes parents have to say & do things they despise for the safety & for the love of their child. Debbie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 6, 2004 Report Share Posted July 6, 2004 In a message dated 7/6/2004 8:39:33 AM Eastern Daylight Time, sleddog@... writes: > Then you best learn psychology & head games very well. Kids learn very fast > how to manage their parents. I totally agree !! My sister, becasue of our childhood refused to spank her first child...she'd sit him down ( at 1 year of age, no less) and explain why his behavior was not acceptable that kid is really messed up..the second child was spanked when he needed it as a young child...and he's totally normal... But if thats the your argument behind hitting how do you explain all the examples of children who are NOT hit and still grow up to be loving, responsible adults without any problems? Before you say none exist there are several examples here on this board of strong women who managed to raise great kids without hitting or spanking. To insinuate all kids who arent disciplined by physical punishment grow up to be " messed up " discounts all the success stories of women who did just that! And as some have already said the prison sysrem is full of people who were spanked ( No I am not saying all kids spanked go to jail or we wouldnt be free to type here, lol ) So if some kids spanked go to jail, others dont and if some kids not spanked go to jail and others dont- well dont we owe it to ourselves to figure out what the ones who didnt spank and whose kids didnt go to jail did right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 6, 2004 Report Share Posted July 6, 2004 In a message dated 7/6/2004 8:39:33 AM Eastern Daylight Time, sleddog@... writes: > Then you best learn psychology & head games very well. Kids learn very fast > how to manage their parents. I totally agree !! My sister, becasue of our childhood refused to spank her first child...she'd sit him down ( at 1 year of age, no less) and explain why his behavior was not acceptable that kid is really messed up..the second child was spanked when he needed it as a young child...and he's totally normal... But if thats the your argument behind hitting how do you explain all the examples of children who are NOT hit and still grow up to be loving, responsible adults without any problems? Before you say none exist there are several examples here on this board of strong women who managed to raise great kids without hitting or spanking. To insinuate all kids who arent disciplined by physical punishment grow up to be " messed up " discounts all the success stories of women who did just that! And as some have already said the prison sysrem is full of people who were spanked ( No I am not saying all kids spanked go to jail or we wouldnt be free to type here, lol ) So if some kids spanked go to jail, others dont and if some kids not spanked go to jail and others dont- well dont we owe it to ourselves to figure out what the ones who didnt spank and whose kids didnt go to jail did right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 6, 2004 Report Share Posted July 6, 2004 I know children have different tempermants but wouldnt hitting a " fiesty " child just enflame the situation worse? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 6, 2004 Report Share Posted July 6, 2004 honey, I was not criticizing her at all. I worded myself wrong. I really would congratulate her if she managed to raise a child who was never hit or had to be hit in any situation & I really would like to know how she did it in this day & age. I am sorry you took me wrong. Have you honestly looked at the kids these days in the school system. Its not just the kids its the teachers also. Some are great. Others are pacifists like my daughter & never wanted to cause any physical or mental pain what so ever. Then we have those who go to the school (child or adult) who are down right hateful. My daughter was picked on constantly, she was treated like a piece of crap by teachers & students alike, not all the time, but most of the time. You want to know why? Because she believed in God, because she was a redhead, because she was like a walking encyclopedia, because she didn't french kiss boys in the school & let them feel her up. You name it, they found a reason to persecute her. She is not the only one that is persecuted by others in the school system. Anymore that is the norm. That is why they have cops in the halls & on the school grounds. 5 year old kids are getting raped in schools across the nation by teachers & kids alike. Children are abused all the time in all the schools by someone. SO yes, I did say that it would take a miracle to raise a child who doesn't fight back, wouldn't hit anyone including the parents. It doesn't have to be her kid, it could be anyone's kids that are doing it. They learn it from school, they learn it from tv. You either become someone who is picked on all the time or you beat the crap out of someone to try to make it stop. Its just that simple. The school system is a war zone. You cannot walk through a war zone unscathed. Life in general is war zone here. People are always getting beat up, killed, robbed, you name it. There is no way to get around it. It isn't like it was when I was growing up & the worse thing a kid does at school is get into trouble for chewing gum in class or fight against another kid using fair tactics. So no, I wasn't telling her it was necessarily going to be her kid. But sometimes you really have to tell it like it is to prepare people so they can make contingency plans. I am not even saying that all teachers, children, or adults are bad. I am saying that the bad ones are no longer hiding & trying to do things in secret like they did in the old days & they don't give a darn who knows it. I am glad that you did respond to this as you did. It let me know that I really didn't clarify my words. However, I do feel that the best way to put on a good defense against the worse that can happen in life is to face the truth & know that this is not " Leave it to Beaver " or " Father knows best " anymore. Its so much more violent than that. You don't really know whats going on at school unless it leaks or you have children going there. Then you learn big time. Search the net if you doubt what I say. But please don't expect me to remain quiet about the violence that is in the USA. I will not look at it through rose colored glasses like I use to. The government paints a pretty picture, but if you read the news from the different 50 states you will see what I mean. Debbie Re: Pro Smacking Limits > I have been reading these posts for the last day or so without posting > anything but I really need to make a comment. > > Debbie, you keep writing about how these things are " just my opinion " when > the things you write are not just opinions. Saying that if Sexystarshine > doesn't spank their child then " expect to be screamed at & even hit by your > child " is horrible. That reads as though you are passing judgement on > parents that do not condone hitting their children. And, getting sarcastic > and saying that " I want you to publish a book telling us how you did it " in > reference again to not hitting her child just seems really backhanded and > hurtful. > > When I joined this group it was to try and get some understanding about my > moms BP and it's impact on my life. Up until the last few days it has been > wonderful but as I am reading these posts it makes me cry. Don't all of you > think that we in this group have had enough of these kind of hurtful words > aimed at us? > > on 7/5/04 8:19 PM, Deborah Kovak at foundmy@... wrote: > > Then you best learn psychology & head games very well. Kids learn very fast > how to manage their parents. > Also, expect to be screamed at & even hit by your child in the future. This > is just normal every day things a child will do. In a culture that screams > that violence is ok, you are in for a very hard time. > If you are sending your daughter to public school what are you going to do > when your 5 year old comes home & tells you to fXXX yourself, spits in your > face, or even hits you. These are realistic things that can & will happen. > Private school doesn't even change those odds. You may stand a chance if you > homeschool. But your children will never find another child raised exactly > like yours even that way. They will be exposed to children who will abuse > her & treat her like a piece of crap. They will do it because they will be > able to. You cannot protect her from the evil because it is out there just > waiting to pounce on any child. You will have to teach her to fight back or > she will learn on her own. If she doesn't she will not survive. This is the > truth if I ever have told it. It is impossible to raise a totally peaceful > child in such a hateful world. That is not to say that you cannot raise her > to be moral & loving. But you will have to have a stronger impact than the > rest of the world. The only way to do that is to homeschool your daughter. > You will also have to know psychology as good as the best one in the world > to succeed without ever laying a hand on your daughters behind. I will have > a party for you if you succeed. Then I want you to publish a book telling us > how you did it. I also wonder about one other thing. Will she have a > sibling? That too will make all the difference in the world. > This is just my view & not critical of yours. I too had that dream of never > spanking my precious little babies. But sometimes parents have to say & do > things they despise for the safety & for the love of their child. > Debbie > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 6, 2004 Report Share Posted July 6, 2004 honey, I was not criticizing her at all. I worded myself wrong. I really would congratulate her if she managed to raise a child who was never hit or had to be hit in any situation & I really would like to know how she did it in this day & age. I am sorry you took me wrong. Have you honestly looked at the kids these days in the school system. Its not just the kids its the teachers also. Some are great. Others are pacifists like my daughter & never wanted to cause any physical or mental pain what so ever. Then we have those who go to the school (child or adult) who are down right hateful. My daughter was picked on constantly, she was treated like a piece of crap by teachers & students alike, not all the time, but most of the time. You want to know why? Because she believed in God, because she was a redhead, because she was like a walking encyclopedia, because she didn't french kiss boys in the school & let them feel her up. You name it, they found a reason to persecute her. She is not the only one that is persecuted by others in the school system. Anymore that is the norm. That is why they have cops in the halls & on the school grounds. 5 year old kids are getting raped in schools across the nation by teachers & kids alike. Children are abused all the time in all the schools by someone. SO yes, I did say that it would take a miracle to raise a child who doesn't fight back, wouldn't hit anyone including the parents. It doesn't have to be her kid, it could be anyone's kids that are doing it. They learn it from school, they learn it from tv. You either become someone who is picked on all the time or you beat the crap out of someone to try to make it stop. Its just that simple. The school system is a war zone. You cannot walk through a war zone unscathed. Life in general is war zone here. People are always getting beat up, killed, robbed, you name it. There is no way to get around it. It isn't like it was when I was growing up & the worse thing a kid does at school is get into trouble for chewing gum in class or fight against another kid using fair tactics. So no, I wasn't telling her it was necessarily going to be her kid. But sometimes you really have to tell it like it is to prepare people so they can make contingency plans. I am not even saying that all teachers, children, or adults are bad. I am saying that the bad ones are no longer hiding & trying to do things in secret like they did in the old days & they don't give a darn who knows it. I am glad that you did respond to this as you did. It let me know that I really didn't clarify my words. However, I do feel that the best way to put on a good defense against the worse that can happen in life is to face the truth & know that this is not " Leave it to Beaver " or " Father knows best " anymore. Its so much more violent than that. You don't really know whats going on at school unless it leaks or you have children going there. Then you learn big time. Search the net if you doubt what I say. But please don't expect me to remain quiet about the violence that is in the USA. I will not look at it through rose colored glasses like I use to. The government paints a pretty picture, but if you read the news from the different 50 states you will see what I mean. Debbie Re: Pro Smacking Limits > I have been reading these posts for the last day or so without posting > anything but I really need to make a comment. > > Debbie, you keep writing about how these things are " just my opinion " when > the things you write are not just opinions. Saying that if Sexystarshine > doesn't spank their child then " expect to be screamed at & even hit by your > child " is horrible. That reads as though you are passing judgement on > parents that do not condone hitting their children. And, getting sarcastic > and saying that " I want you to publish a book telling us how you did it " in > reference again to not hitting her child just seems really backhanded and > hurtful. > > When I joined this group it was to try and get some understanding about my > moms BP and it's impact on my life. Up until the last few days it has been > wonderful but as I am reading these posts it makes me cry. Don't all of you > think that we in this group have had enough of these kind of hurtful words > aimed at us? > > on 7/5/04 8:19 PM, Deborah Kovak at foundmy@... wrote: > > Then you best learn psychology & head games very well. Kids learn very fast > how to manage their parents. > Also, expect to be screamed at & even hit by your child in the future. This > is just normal every day things a child will do. In a culture that screams > that violence is ok, you are in for a very hard time. > If you are sending your daughter to public school what are you going to do > when your 5 year old comes home & tells you to fXXX yourself, spits in your > face, or even hits you. These are realistic things that can & will happen. > Private school doesn't even change those odds. You may stand a chance if you > homeschool. But your children will never find another child raised exactly > like yours even that way. They will be exposed to children who will abuse > her & treat her like a piece of crap. They will do it because they will be > able to. You cannot protect her from the evil because it is out there just > waiting to pounce on any child. You will have to teach her to fight back or > she will learn on her own. If she doesn't she will not survive. This is the > truth if I ever have told it. It is impossible to raise a totally peaceful > child in such a hateful world. That is not to say that you cannot raise her > to be moral & loving. But you will have to have a stronger impact than the > rest of the world. The only way to do that is to homeschool your daughter. > You will also have to know psychology as good as the best one in the world > to succeed without ever laying a hand on your daughters behind. I will have > a party for you if you succeed. Then I want you to publish a book telling us > how you did it. I also wonder about one other thing. Will she have a > sibling? That too will make all the difference in the world. > This is just my view & not critical of yours. I too had that dream of never > spanking my precious little babies. But sometimes parents have to say & do > things they despise for the safety & for the love of their child. > Debbie > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 6, 2004 Report Share Posted July 6, 2004 honey, I was not criticizing her at all. I worded myself wrong. I really would congratulate her if she managed to raise a child who was never hit or had to be hit in any situation & I really would like to know how she did it in this day & age. I am sorry you took me wrong. Have you honestly looked at the kids these days in the school system. Its not just the kids its the teachers also. Some are great. Others are pacifists like my daughter & never wanted to cause any physical or mental pain what so ever. Then we have those who go to the school (child or adult) who are down right hateful. My daughter was picked on constantly, she was treated like a piece of crap by teachers & students alike, not all the time, but most of the time. You want to know why? Because she believed in God, because she was a redhead, because she was like a walking encyclopedia, because she didn't french kiss boys in the school & let them feel her up. You name it, they found a reason to persecute her. She is not the only one that is persecuted by others in the school system. Anymore that is the norm. That is why they have cops in the halls & on the school grounds. 5 year old kids are getting raped in schools across the nation by teachers & kids alike. Children are abused all the time in all the schools by someone. SO yes, I did say that it would take a miracle to raise a child who doesn't fight back, wouldn't hit anyone including the parents. It doesn't have to be her kid, it could be anyone's kids that are doing it. They learn it from school, they learn it from tv. You either become someone who is picked on all the time or you beat the crap out of someone to try to make it stop. Its just that simple. The school system is a war zone. You cannot walk through a war zone unscathed. Life in general is war zone here. People are always getting beat up, killed, robbed, you name it. There is no way to get around it. It isn't like it was when I was growing up & the worse thing a kid does at school is get into trouble for chewing gum in class or fight against another kid using fair tactics. So no, I wasn't telling her it was necessarily going to be her kid. But sometimes you really have to tell it like it is to prepare people so they can make contingency plans. I am not even saying that all teachers, children, or adults are bad. I am saying that the bad ones are no longer hiding & trying to do things in secret like they did in the old days & they don't give a darn who knows it. I am glad that you did respond to this as you did. It let me know that I really didn't clarify my words. However, I do feel that the best way to put on a good defense against the worse that can happen in life is to face the truth & know that this is not " Leave it to Beaver " or " Father knows best " anymore. Its so much more violent than that. You don't really know whats going on at school unless it leaks or you have children going there. Then you learn big time. Search the net if you doubt what I say. But please don't expect me to remain quiet about the violence that is in the USA. I will not look at it through rose colored glasses like I use to. The government paints a pretty picture, but if you read the news from the different 50 states you will see what I mean. Debbie Re: Pro Smacking Limits > I have been reading these posts for the last day or so without posting > anything but I really need to make a comment. > > Debbie, you keep writing about how these things are " just my opinion " when > the things you write are not just opinions. Saying that if Sexystarshine > doesn't spank their child then " expect to be screamed at & even hit by your > child " is horrible. That reads as though you are passing judgement on > parents that do not condone hitting their children. And, getting sarcastic > and saying that " I want you to publish a book telling us how you did it " in > reference again to not hitting her child just seems really backhanded and > hurtful. > > When I joined this group it was to try and get some understanding about my > moms BP and it's impact on my life. Up until the last few days it has been > wonderful but as I am reading these posts it makes me cry. Don't all of you > think that we in this group have had enough of these kind of hurtful words > aimed at us? > > on 7/5/04 8:19 PM, Deborah Kovak at foundmy@... wrote: > > Then you best learn psychology & head games very well. Kids learn very fast > how to manage their parents. > Also, expect to be screamed at & even hit by your child in the future. This > is just normal every day things a child will do. In a culture that screams > that violence is ok, you are in for a very hard time. > If you are sending your daughter to public school what are you going to do > when your 5 year old comes home & tells you to fXXX yourself, spits in your > face, or even hits you. These are realistic things that can & will happen. > Private school doesn't even change those odds. You may stand a chance if you > homeschool. But your children will never find another child raised exactly > like yours even that way. They will be exposed to children who will abuse > her & treat her like a piece of crap. They will do it because they will be > able to. You cannot protect her from the evil because it is out there just > waiting to pounce on any child. You will have to teach her to fight back or > she will learn on her own. If she doesn't she will not survive. This is the > truth if I ever have told it. It is impossible to raise a totally peaceful > child in such a hateful world. That is not to say that you cannot raise her > to be moral & loving. But you will have to have a stronger impact than the > rest of the world. The only way to do that is to homeschool your daughter. > You will also have to know psychology as good as the best one in the world > to succeed without ever laying a hand on your daughters behind. I will have > a party for you if you succeed. Then I want you to publish a book telling us > how you did it. I also wonder about one other thing. Will she have a > sibling? That too will make all the difference in the world. > This is just my view & not critical of yours. I too had that dream of never > spanking my precious little babies. But sometimes parents have to say & do > things they despise for the safety & for the love of their child. > Debbie > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 6, 2004 Report Share Posted July 6, 2004 I stand corrected I did say " your child " I should have stated that it was a general statement & not necessarily her child, but any child in public school that does that to their parents. Not all kids do, but these days there are more than 50 % that do. Debbie Re: Pro Smacking Limits > I have been reading these posts for the last day or so without posting > anything but I really need to make a comment. > > Debbie, you keep writing about how these things are " just my opinion " when > the things you write are not just opinions. Saying that if Sexystarshine > doesn't spank their child then " expect to be screamed at & even hit by your > child " is horrible. That reads as though you are passing judgement on > parents that do not condone hitting their children. And, getting sarcastic > and saying that " I want you to publish a book telling us how you did it " in > reference again to not hitting her child just seems really backhanded and > hurtful. > > When I joined this group it was to try and get some understanding about my > moms BP and it's impact on my life. Up until the last few days it has been > wonderful but as I am reading these posts it makes me cry. Don't all of you > think that we in this group have had enough of these kind of hurtful words > aimed at us? > > on 7/5/04 8:19 PM, Deborah Kovak at foundmy@... wrote: > > Then you best learn psychology & head games very well. Kids learn very fast > how to manage their parents. > Also, expect to be screamed at & even hit by your child in the future. This > is just normal every day things a child will do. In a culture that screams > that violence is ok, you are in for a very hard time. > If you are sending your daughter to public school what are you going to do > when your 5 year old comes home & tells you to fXXX yourself, spits in your > face, or even hits you. These are realistic things that can & will happen. > Private school doesn't even change those odds. You may stand a chance if you > homeschool. But your children will never find another child raised exactly > like yours even that way. They will be exposed to children who will abuse > her & treat her like a piece of crap. They will do it because they will be > able to. You cannot protect her from the evil because it is out there just > waiting to pounce on any child. You will have to teach her to fight back or > she will learn on her own. If she doesn't she will not survive. This is the > truth if I ever have told it. It is impossible to raise a totally peaceful > child in such a hateful world. That is not to say that you cannot raise her > to be moral & loving. But you will have to have a stronger impact than the > rest of the world. The only way to do that is to homeschool your daughter. > You will also have to know psychology as good as the best one in the world > to succeed without ever laying a hand on your daughters behind. I will have > a party for you if you succeed. Then I want you to publish a book telling us > how you did it. I also wonder about one other thing. Will she have a > sibling? That too will make all the difference in the world. > This is just my view & not critical of yours. I too had that dream of never > spanking my precious little babies. But sometimes parents have to say & do > things they despise for the safety & for the love of their child. > Debbie > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 6, 2004 Report Share Posted July 6, 2004 I stand corrected I did say " your child " I should have stated that it was a general statement & not necessarily her child, but any child in public school that does that to their parents. Not all kids do, but these days there are more than 50 % that do. Debbie Re: Pro Smacking Limits > I have been reading these posts for the last day or so without posting > anything but I really need to make a comment. > > Debbie, you keep writing about how these things are " just my opinion " when > the things you write are not just opinions. Saying that if Sexystarshine > doesn't spank their child then " expect to be screamed at & even hit by your > child " is horrible. That reads as though you are passing judgement on > parents that do not condone hitting their children. And, getting sarcastic > and saying that " I want you to publish a book telling us how you did it " in > reference again to not hitting her child just seems really backhanded and > hurtful. > > When I joined this group it was to try and get some understanding about my > moms BP and it's impact on my life. Up until the last few days it has been > wonderful but as I am reading these posts it makes me cry. Don't all of you > think that we in this group have had enough of these kind of hurtful words > aimed at us? > > on 7/5/04 8:19 PM, Deborah Kovak at foundmy@... wrote: > > Then you best learn psychology & head games very well. Kids learn very fast > how to manage their parents. > Also, expect to be screamed at & even hit by your child in the future. This > is just normal every day things a child will do. In a culture that screams > that violence is ok, you are in for a very hard time. > If you are sending your daughter to public school what are you going to do > when your 5 year old comes home & tells you to fXXX yourself, spits in your > face, or even hits you. These are realistic things that can & will happen. > Private school doesn't even change those odds. You may stand a chance if you > homeschool. But your children will never find another child raised exactly > like yours even that way. They will be exposed to children who will abuse > her & treat her like a piece of crap. They will do it because they will be > able to. You cannot protect her from the evil because it is out there just > waiting to pounce on any child. You will have to teach her to fight back or > she will learn on her own. If she doesn't she will not survive. This is the > truth if I ever have told it. It is impossible to raise a totally peaceful > child in such a hateful world. That is not to say that you cannot raise her > to be moral & loving. But you will have to have a stronger impact than the > rest of the world. The only way to do that is to homeschool your daughter. > You will also have to know psychology as good as the best one in the world > to succeed without ever laying a hand on your daughters behind. I will have > a party for you if you succeed. Then I want you to publish a book telling us > how you did it. I also wonder about one other thing. Will she have a > sibling? That too will make all the difference in the world. > This is just my view & not critical of yours. I too had that dream of never > spanking my precious little babies. But sometimes parents have to say & do > things they despise for the safety & for the love of their child. > Debbie > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 6, 2004 Report Share Posted July 6, 2004 > Then you best learn psychology & head games very well. Kids learn very fast > how to manage their parents. I totally agree !! My sister, becasue of our childhood refused to spank her first child...she'd sit him down ( at 1 year of age, no less) and explain why his behavior was not acceptable that kid is really messed up..the second child was spanked when he needed it as a young child...and he's totally normal... > Also, expect to be screamed at & even hit by your child in the future. This > is just normal every day things a child will do. right. There are some wonderful children ( my neice and step son are examples) they just accepted what was told to them, never challenged adults...just naturally well behaved kids, then there are those like my oldest sister. Mother would say " do NOT touch the stove " and my sister, would stare at my mother as she reached out to touch the stove...she was a very defiant child... Jackie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 6, 2004 Report Share Posted July 6, 2004 this isn't my " reason " to spank, that is just an example with my sisters two kids of one who was spanked and one who wasn't and if you had read further, I explained that there are different kids with different temperaments Jackie > But if thats the your argument behind hitting how do you explain > all the examples of children who are NOT hit and still grow up to be loving, > responsible adults without any problems? Before you say none exist there are > several examples here on this board of strong women who managed to raise great > kids without hitting or spanking. To insinuate all kids who arent disciplined > by physical punishment grow up to be " messed up " discounts all the success > stories of women who did just that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 6, 2004 Report Share Posted July 6, 2004 this isn't my " reason " to spank, that is just an example with my sisters two kids of one who was spanked and one who wasn't and if you had read further, I explained that there are different kids with different temperaments Jackie > But if thats the your argument behind hitting how do you explain > all the examples of children who are NOT hit and still grow up to be loving, > responsible adults without any problems? Before you say none exist there are > several examples here on this board of strong women who managed to raise great > kids without hitting or spanking. To insinuate all kids who arent disciplined > by physical punishment grow up to be " messed up " discounts all the success > stories of women who did just that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 6, 2004 Report Share Posted July 6, 2004 it all depends on the situation and the child...spanking is not a blanket thing where all kids are spanked for everything... Jackie > I know children have different tempermants but wouldnt hitting a " fiesty " > child just enflame the situation worse? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 6, 2004 Report Share Posted July 6, 2004 it all depends on the situation and the child...spanking is not a blanket thing where all kids are spanked for everything... Jackie > I know children have different tempermants but wouldnt hitting a " fiesty " > child just enflame the situation worse? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 6, 2004 Report Share Posted July 6, 2004 Hon, I can tell you the difference without having to do research. It is the kids, the time, the place, the situation, The parents, & the background of all involved. Its also the temperament of the child. To be honest, I also think its in the gene pool the child gets. It could also be whether or not the child has a learning difference, but don't quote me on that one. I don't say that it isn't possible to raise any child without spanking, but there are so many kids out there that will test you like my nephew. My oldest daughter very rarely got a spanking for anything because the other methods would work. I have rarely ever spanked my own youngest 2 children. Not because I felt that it was wrong. But because if other ways work there is not a need for spanking. A spanking is reserved for the times when nothing else works including shoveling dog poo. I have a set of books here written by a woman 100 years ago. She stated that if you distract a child from being ugly by getting their attention on something else the mood should pass with practice. I already know that hard work is great for getting out anger. So if a child is angry they get hard work around here. If a child volunteers someone else for a chore, that child gets the chore not the person they volunteered. If a child is told to clean his/her room & they slop over it & hide crap under the bed, don't sweep, or take 2 hours to fold 5 pieces of clothing I go in there & make the room a worse disaster & they have to start over on cleaning the room. If they are doing something that involves the health of the whole household such as dishes or the bathroom & they do a terrible job more than 5 times, the rule is that every dish in the house will be washed by that child. I don't have very many takers for most of these punishments. No spanking is involved, but they get my point. I have made child sweep a room 8 times because each time it was not done correctly. That child never forgot how to sweep floors. If my youngest ones get spanked they will agree themselves that they deserved it. I pick & choose my battles with them wisely. The oldest 2 were my experimental models, my youngest are the finished product. With each child I have gained wisdom & new methods of living without spanking. Since I never had proper upbringing to begin with, I don't think that I have done too badly. I really do hate spanking my kids, but I will use it before I see them on the road to the jailhouse or worse. Some kids it just takes that kind of commitment, others....? Are not angels but you can reason with them & make them see the light just with words. Debbie Re: Pro Smacking Limits > > In a message dated 7/6/2004 8:39:33 AM Eastern Daylight Time, > sleddog@... writes: > > > Then you best learn psychology & head games very well. Kids learn very > fast > > how to manage their parents. > > I totally agree !! My sister, becasue of our childhood refused to spank her > first child...she'd sit him down ( at 1 year of age, no less) and explain > why his behavior was not acceptable that kid is really messed up..the > second child was spanked when he needed it as a young child...and he's > totally normal... > > > But if thats the your argument behind hitting how do you explain > all the examples of children who are NOT hit and still grow up to be loving, > responsible adults without any problems? Before you say none exist there are > several examples here on this board of strong women who managed to raise great > kids without hitting or spanking. To insinuate all kids who arent disciplined > by physical punishment grow up to be " messed up " discounts all the success > stories of women who did just that! > > And as some have already said the prison sysrem is full of people who > were spanked ( No I am not saying all kids spanked go to jail or we wouldnt be > free to type here, lol ) So if some kids spanked go to jail, others dont and > if some kids not spanked go to jail and others dont- well dont we owe it to > ourselves to figure out what the ones who didnt spank and whose kids didnt go > to jail did right? > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 6, 2004 Report Share Posted July 6, 2004 Hon, I can tell you the difference without having to do research. It is the kids, the time, the place, the situation, The parents, & the background of all involved. Its also the temperament of the child. To be honest, I also think its in the gene pool the child gets. It could also be whether or not the child has a learning difference, but don't quote me on that one. I don't say that it isn't possible to raise any child without spanking, but there are so many kids out there that will test you like my nephew. My oldest daughter very rarely got a spanking for anything because the other methods would work. I have rarely ever spanked my own youngest 2 children. Not because I felt that it was wrong. But because if other ways work there is not a need for spanking. A spanking is reserved for the times when nothing else works including shoveling dog poo. I have a set of books here written by a woman 100 years ago. She stated that if you distract a child from being ugly by getting their attention on something else the mood should pass with practice. I already know that hard work is great for getting out anger. So if a child is angry they get hard work around here. If a child volunteers someone else for a chore, that child gets the chore not the person they volunteered. If a child is told to clean his/her room & they slop over it & hide crap under the bed, don't sweep, or take 2 hours to fold 5 pieces of clothing I go in there & make the room a worse disaster & they have to start over on cleaning the room. If they are doing something that involves the health of the whole household such as dishes or the bathroom & they do a terrible job more than 5 times, the rule is that every dish in the house will be washed by that child. I don't have very many takers for most of these punishments. No spanking is involved, but they get my point. I have made child sweep a room 8 times because each time it was not done correctly. That child never forgot how to sweep floors. If my youngest ones get spanked they will agree themselves that they deserved it. I pick & choose my battles with them wisely. The oldest 2 were my experimental models, my youngest are the finished product. With each child I have gained wisdom & new methods of living without spanking. Since I never had proper upbringing to begin with, I don't think that I have done too badly. I really do hate spanking my kids, but I will use it before I see them on the road to the jailhouse or worse. Some kids it just takes that kind of commitment, others....? Are not angels but you can reason with them & make them see the light just with words. Debbie Re: Pro Smacking Limits > > In a message dated 7/6/2004 8:39:33 AM Eastern Daylight Time, > sleddog@... writes: > > > Then you best learn psychology & head games very well. Kids learn very > fast > > how to manage their parents. > > I totally agree !! My sister, becasue of our childhood refused to spank her > first child...she'd sit him down ( at 1 year of age, no less) and explain > why his behavior was not acceptable that kid is really messed up..the > second child was spanked when he needed it as a young child...and he's > totally normal... > > > But if thats the your argument behind hitting how do you explain > all the examples of children who are NOT hit and still grow up to be loving, > responsible adults without any problems? Before you say none exist there are > several examples here on this board of strong women who managed to raise great > kids without hitting or spanking. To insinuate all kids who arent disciplined > by physical punishment grow up to be " messed up " discounts all the success > stories of women who did just that! > > And as some have already said the prison sysrem is full of people who > were spanked ( No I am not saying all kids spanked go to jail or we wouldnt be > free to type here, lol ) So if some kids spanked go to jail, others dont and > if some kids not spanked go to jail and others dont- well dont we owe it to > ourselves to figure out what the ones who didnt spank and whose kids didnt go > to jail did right? > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.