Spreading holiday cheer

[Guest guest]

Hi all,

Well, I guess the spirit of the season got the best of me. In a fit

of holiday giving I ordered a nice group gift and had it sent to

nada's house - my two younger brothers will be stuck there with her

this year, and I wanted to just let them know I hadn't forgotten

about them. And, I guess on some level I just felt like being nice

this year, without having to pick and choose who to be nice to.

Well that was just a bad idea. The package arrived earlier than I

thought, and my younger brother emailed me yesterday to say that

nada is returning it, unopened, to the store that sent it to her.

According to him, she was flipping out about her " boundaries " being

violated. She hasn't contacted me yet, but I expect something nasty

from her in the next day or so.

I don't know why, but it hurt my feelings. And then I got really,

really angry at myself for being so stupid. Did I expect anything

different? Why would I do such a dumb thing?

I'm trying really hard not to beat myself up over this one. I should

have known better, but I shouldn't punish myself over it. She's the

one who's insane, not me. I forget what she's like because it's

human nature to want to get past things, to move on, to become

better people. I don't know, maybe a deep-down part of me was hoping

that a normal mother would just appear from the other end of that

Christmas gift. Perhaps I'm still hoping for a mother.

I have to question my own sanity when I do stuff like that.

Thanks - I think I just needed to share.